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AIBU?

pay nanny slightly less if she brings own child to work?

72 replies

msatlantis · 28/02/2017 10:12

In the process of sorting childcare for when I return to work. First child so haven't done it before.

Two nannies I like.

The first has a LO almost 3 years old which she would like to bring to work with her. She did this in her previous post and said it worked well. Her rate is £10 ph net - so I guess about £15 an hour gross.

The second nanny is older. Children grown up. Her rate is actually slightly less than the first.

AIBU to think £10 net ph is a bit much for a nanny who is bringing their own child to work? She won't have child care costs and my LO won't have her sole attention.

If I decide to go with her is it acceptable to try and negotiate this down a little bit?

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 28/02/2017 10:16

£10 per hour for what I assume is a fully qualified nanny is a bargain. I wouldn't have an issue about her bringing her child as long as mine was getting the attention it needed. How old is your child? Speak to her reference and find out how well it did actually work in their home?

notinagreatplace · 28/02/2017 10:18

I don't know what the going rate for nannies in your area is but, personally, I wouldn't go for a nanny bringing their own child. It would be one thing if my child already had a strong bond with her and then she had her own child but I wouldn't choose to go into that situation - she won't be giving your child anything like her undivided attention if she's running around after her own toddler as well.

If you do go for her, I would be inclined to say that you should offer her around what you'd pay for a nanny share in your area - as that's effectively what you're getting.

KatyBerry · 28/02/2017 10:23

It seems perfectly sensible to me - and frankly I'd accept £5k / year less in my own job if I could avoid childcare costs by bringing my offspring with me. Sadly, agencies have told me it doesn't work that way, and therefore I cannot understand why on earth anyone would ever hire a new nanny with own child (can understand existing nanny who has baby then returning with child).
There are countless negatives to the situation and unless there was a significant financial incentive to someone else's toddler messing your home and your child's routine, bringing their own bugs in etc etc then it removes many of the benefits of having a nanny over nursery

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 28/02/2017 10:24

Pay her the nanny share rate for your area (quick Google should tell you).

However, be wary of her bringing her own child - make sure her attitudes to behaviour, suitable food etc are the same as yours or you'll have a problem.

jay55 · 28/02/2017 10:25

Never ever negotiate net rates, always gross. You cannot control their tax code, or changed in tax and ni.
But yes it is usual to pay less for nanny bringing a child. You might want to check the home childcare board.

MrsKoala · 28/02/2017 10:25

Mini - it's £10 net, so between £14-5 once op pays her tax and ni, pension etc.

I wouldn't mind op, but i would either say no dc or pay the amount she wants and say okay. I wouldn't pay less. Its either okay for my child or not.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 28/02/2017 10:26

She won't have child care costs Not relevant.

Personally I think YABU as good nanny's don't come cheap. I also think it will be nice for your lo to have another child around

AlexanderHamilton · 28/02/2017 10:32

Not having childcare costs is relevant.

The OP will not be getting sole care for her child as the nanny will also be caring for her own child.

If the child was from another family the op would split the nanny's wages between them.

BasicBetty · 28/02/2017 10:32

Our nanny brings her child to work. Slightly different situation though, in that our nanny's child is a toddler and DCs are at primary school.

We pay around £11 gross (not exactly sure because we've agreed an annual salary), which nanny suggested and is less than her usual hourly rate.

It works pretty well, although there are definitely downsides. We thought we were well passed the nappy stage, screeching and food being thrown all over the place but that's the price we have to pay!

KatyBerry · 28/02/2017 10:33

alexander it's extremely relevant because the effect of it is that her performance in teh role is going to be compromised by the time, attention and resources being expended on her own child instead of the cared child

Bluntness100 · 28/02/2017 10:38

How old is your child please? If similar age range there could be a benefit I'm having a second child there, but if your child is still an infant, then I'd just go for the one without the child. Inwouldnt try to pay less.

Jaxhog · 28/02/2017 10:39

Check her references thoroughly to find out how it worked out previously.

One thing that would concern me, would be what would she do if she had an emergency with her own child?

Kiroro · 28/02/2017 10:39
  1. Agree gross not net.


  1. I would think VERY carefully about NWOC and would be expecting a significant discount. There are lots of threads in the childcare section about how to approach a NWOC arrangement. Basically there are a shit ton of negatives and the only positive woud lbe if this was an existing nanny you wanted to keep AND you were getting a decent chunk off the cost.
MotherofUnicorns · 28/02/2017 10:40

I had a nanny who brought her child to work. Her child was 9 months older than mine (both under 2 when she started). It was a total DISASTER.
I know this is just one nanny with one child but her child was feral and i still have marks on my wall 3 years on from where she drew on it and i had to clean it with CIF taking off all the apint!

Honestly i used to dread coming home as i knew something would be broken. she never admitted it was her child but said they either did it together or it was my older one after nursery......
This child got into cupboards, emptied out boardgames and broke a BOSE speaker system The nanny said we shouldn't leave nice things lying around so it was our fault.

It lasted 8 months.
Just be careful and make sure you meet the child and see the relationship with the mother / nanny.

I would advise anyone against this in the future!

Sorry to be a downer but i am still scarred......

rightsofwomen · 28/02/2017 10:40

katy not having childcare COSTS is not relevant. Her having a child there is of course relevant.

ShowMeYourWellies · 28/02/2017 10:43

What will she do when her child goes to school - how will drop off/pick up work?

NavyandWhite · 28/02/2017 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RB68 · 28/02/2017 10:43

Would you double her pay if you had two kids - no so why should you reduce what is already a bloody good price for nanny anyway

ShowMeYourWellies · 28/02/2017 10:43

Personally, I would see bringing her own child as a huge negative

MatildaTheCat · 28/02/2017 10:44

A nanny bringing her own child considerably raises the risks of her having to take time off for her own child being ill or having appointments etc. Or bringing an unwell child to your home and exposing your DC to illness.

If you like both nannies equally I would go with the one who is less likely to bring problems with her.

Have you followed up references for both?

viques · 28/02/2017 10:46

I don't understand this discussion. the OP has two possible nannies she likes, one with a child, one without. The one without is slightly cheaper anyway so why not go with her. I can see problems arising with the with child nanny if her own child is sick, and what happens if you want her to take your child to activities and her own child doesn't enjoy them, then when her child starts school there will be issues with drop off and collection and her having to deal with a tired reception child at the end of the day.

Go with the other one!

CryingShame · 28/02/2017 10:46

If you go with the NWOC make sure you know what will happen if the child has chicken pox or other lurgie that your baby (presumably ifyou're going back to work) hasn't had yet. She does get that she can't bring the ill child into work with her, doesn't she? also, in any activities your child should get priority e.g. if she takes them to soft play, do they go to the baby area or the climbing equipment for slightly older children - you are paying her to be there so she should be with your baby.

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CryingShame · 28/02/2017 10:47

Cross post Matilda!

EssentialHummus · 28/02/2017 10:47

The second nanny is older. Children grown up. Her rate is actually slightly less than the first.

Surely this is the way to go? Cheaper, sole charge?

ChocolateWombat · 28/02/2017 10:48

I think it depends on your attitude to childcare.
If because you are paying you want your DC to have the fully focused attention of an adult on them and them alone all the time, it won't work. If however, you have several children and so are used to the children having to share attention, or if you only have 1 but don't mind this idea it can work. It certainly should be cheaper.
Part of it depends on the age of the 2 kids, plus how much attention the other child is going to need - and that is difficult to know in advance if you do t know the child or the nanny and what he response to her own child is likely to be.
If you are likely to become aggrieved and feel the nanny devotes too much time to own child, then don't go into this. If you are more laid back and even see benefits of a companion for your own DC then look into it more. You would need to gather a LOT more info and certainly have some trial periods which you can observe to see what the dynamic would be.
Nanny without own kids is def easier and more straightforward. However, for the right nanny, their own kids can be okay. Agree that is usually a returning nanny you already know, who brings kids and not an unknown, because with a new nanny and their own kids too, there are an awful lot of unknowns.

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