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(24 Posts)
Realjournal123 Tue 28-Feb-17 02:04:29

My partner has never asked or taken me out on a date night - is this normal/common?

KoalaDownUnder Tue 28-Feb-17 02:26:28

Depends what you mean by 'date night'.

I find the whole 'date night' terminology cringeworthy. 'Dates' are what you go on before you're in a relationship. I don't see how a night out with one's partner is a 'date'.

If you mean he never suggests going out for dinner or to a show, that's different and a bit crap.

Out2pasture Tue 28-Feb-17 02:29:47

When the kids were little and money tight it was difficult. With time it happened more and more often.
Have you ever suggested going out to dinner or doing something 1-1?

sibys1 Tue 28-Feb-17 02:55:43

What do you define as a 'date night'?
How long have you been together?
Have you ever taken your partner out on a 'date night'?
Are there any particular reasons why you might not have gone out? Money being the obvious one.

wettunwindee Tue 28-Feb-17 06:47:16

Where have you taken them?

KateDaniels2 Tue 28-Feb-17 07:41:50

It depends. How long have you been together? How did you meet? Whats money like? Do you or they have kids etc?

Sugarlightly Tue 28-Feb-17 07:42:44

Have you ever asked or taken them on a date night?

KateDaniels2 Tue 28-Feb-17 07:42:50

Oh and yes, as pp says, where do you take them on dates?

It would also be relevant if they had anxiety or something similar. There is no one answer here.

Topaz0117 Tue 28-Feb-17 07:44:19

Why is it up to him to ask you out? Can you not ask him out?

ThePants999 Tue 28-Feb-17 09:20:37

Btw, YABU to come on a forum called "AIBU" and title your thread "AIBU" ;-)

Realjournal123 Tue 28-Feb-17 10:34:28

Ok date night is a bit cringe but by that I mean he never takes me out. Yes I suggest things and when it comes to it, he tries to talk me out of it or says he's ill. How often do other couples socialise then? Just each other?

LilacSpatula Tue 28-Feb-17 10:37:30

If there is something you want to do, book it and tell him. What would he do then?

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork Tue 28-Feb-17 10:39:26

If you mean you never go out together at all, thats weird. Do you each go out separately?

OH and I go out separately, together with our friends, and together just the two of us, as often as possible. Which isn't as often as we'd like due to the costs and availability of babysitters. But we go for dinner, or drinks or to stuff with friends or gigs or whatever when we can.

Bluntness100 Tue 28-Feb-17 10:41:07

My husband and I go out together, pub, meals, cinema etc, he doesn't "take me out" we go out together and it's a joint decision.

Do you live together and how long have you been together?

CwtchMeQuick Tue 28-Feb-17 10:44:27

DP and I do something together every week. Sometimes it's staying in with a takeaway and watching a film, or going out for dinner/drinks/cinema. We're lucky to have regular babysitters but on the weeks we don't we just stay home with a bottle of wine. It's really important to us to make time together, id hate it if my DP didn't feel it was a priority.

NerrSnerr Tue 28-Feb-17 10:49:30

When younger we used to go out all the time. We were 19 when we met so every time we saw each other we'd go to the pub or cinema first. When we moved in together we'd go out just the two of us maybe once or twice a week but it wasn't a 'date night' or being taken out, we just went out. Going out is a bit of a memory at the moment as I'm pregnant with a toddler and we're too tired. I think it's normal to go out early on in a relationship. Do you live together?

EverythingEverywhere1234 Tue 28-Feb-17 10:57:39

This is impossible to answer without a bit of background; length of relationship, live together or not, any children, how much disposable income you both have etc.
I go out with my DP alot (never a 'date night', we live together). Probably once a week or so, whether that be a meal out of an evening, a Sunday roast or a night in the pub, but then we are only early twenties and have no children plus reasonable disposable income.

Gottagetmoving Tue 28-Feb-17 11:20:25

We only go out on family get togethers these days. We used to go out once or twice a week but got fed up of it.
We prefer to stay in and slob about in front of the TV now. grin

Realjournal123 Tue 28-Feb-17 11:30:28

We have been living together for 16 years, 2 children. I suggest we do things together but he finds an excuse. We occasionally go for a coffee but he's on his phone a lot. We go out for lunch with the children every Saturday it he's not a chatty man until other people are around. Never in the evenings though, just the two of us. The only occasions I can think of are when he has a friend in town with their wife, then I'm invited, but he has zero interest otherwise. No holidays either. I have pushed for the two that we have had.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork Tue 28-Feb-17 11:33:24

So he doesn't holiday with you, or go out with you or even talk to you.

What does he add to your life at all?

Kinraddie Tue 28-Feb-17 11:38:46

That sounds so sad. No holidays? Holidays are such important times for a family, gives you time together, have new experiences and you create memories that last forever. You are not showing your children what a loving, friendly, healthy relationship/marriage is.
It is hard when the kids are younger. But if they are a bit older it is easier to go out for an early evening meal on a Saturday or go to the cinema. Just a few hours out. You need to push for this and see what happens. Imagine what your life will be like when your kids have gone and you're retired.

Realjournal123 Tue 28-Feb-17 12:04:43

You're so right Kinraddie! I'm dreading when the kids leave home. They're still quite young but I've got a very lonely time ahead of me.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork Tue 28-Feb-17 12:19:46

Sometimes its better to be alone than to be lonely in a couple, you know?

Enko Tue 28-Feb-17 13:05:04

Very rare dh and I socialise just the 2 ofnus. However we do at times make an effort and go out for breakfast or dinner. Tomorrow wve is my birthday and we are going to a local curry house. Nothing special but actually good fun to do.

So whilst we dont do so often we do at times and it gets initiated by both of us

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