AIBU or DH about exercise times(12 Posts)
Both my husband and I (at various times of various years) have attempted a regular running routine. I have run on and off (mostly off!) for 3 years and started again before xmas. My husband started running mid last year and has a slightly dodgy knee so would run for a few weeks then stop when his knee hurt too much. He started running again last week, first time since January.
As we have primary school age kids, we don't run together and run at different times of the day. He admittedly used to do more early morning runs (6am) than me, as I didn't like getting up early and used to do more at lunchtime or at the weekend. However, a few weeks ago I joined a running group which meets once a week at 6am so I bagged that day as 'my' day for the early morning run.
So for 2 weeks all fine, I ran every alternate day at 6am. Now DH has started running again, he thinks he should have first choice of morning runs (apart from the running group day), and I am "interfering" with his routine as he has usually run early mornings and I should run in the evening or at lunchtime.
My reasons for running in the morning are basically that I actually enjoy the quietness and it sets me up for the day. I work full-time and don't always take a lunchbreak, and not keen to run in the heat of the day (warmer climate where I live), and by the time I get the kids to bed in the evening, its 8pm and my tv/slob out time, I'm not overly keen on going out for a run then.
His reasons for wanting the morning run are that he doesn't want to run in the sun or heat and that it was his 'thing' first to run early. when I suggested him running in the evening, he said that it was still hotter than at 6am.
One thing that is grating me is that he is a SAHP, so once the kids go to school, he has all day to run! Whereas I have much more limited time.
I suggested this morning to have set days for each of us to go at 6am and if you missed it (for weather, or just general can't be arsed) then it's up to you to go another time that day (or just miss it). He wasn't happy with this and still thinks that he should decide if he's running that morning and if not, then I can. Considering he will not be running every day, but he wants the freedom to skip a day and then do the next day (which if we had a rota, would be my day).
Sorry this is so long (and first world problems), but there was a blazing row and I'm not sure if I'm BU in muscling in on his running times or not!
So he can still go running every other morning at 6am, and on the other days can go after he drops the kids to school/during the day/evening? He's being daft.
If he's a sahd then your time takes priority I think, because he has lots of alternatives by comparison. You're not demanding every day either whereas he effectively is.
yep pretty much! I even said that he could go at 6.45am when I get back as I sort the kids breakfast/lunches out on 3 days a week, but I think he just wants to have the choice when he wakes up as to whether he runs or not.
re treadmill, we don't have room (and I quite like seeing the sun rise in the morning!)
He wants to bagsy every day then run whenever he wants? Bollocks to that.
My DH was the
only one first to work out. He loves it and has his 'times'. But now I'm running, we balance it so everyone gets their choice. He's happy that I'm trying to get in shape.
Turn and turn about.
He has all day to run. You get priority. I think you're being generous agreeing to every other day tbh. And yes, is still say this if the m/f were reversed.
he's usually been very encouraging about me going running - but obviously not when it's interfering with his plans... he was mostly peed off that I wouldn't admit that I was 'interfering' with his routine. but I genuinely don't believe I am - different if he was running every day and I wanted his time slot, but there's always going to be every second day where he's not running, I just want to set those days out so we both know what we're doing.
He is BU. If you can't agree, sit down together, draw a name out of a hat and that person chooses one day and time they would like to run, then the next person has a turn and keep going until each person has the number of runs they would like each week allocated to them.
If he won't agree to that then I would point out that all he is interested in is himself and being selfish.
Alternate days really is as fair as you can get. He's being an ass if he refuses to acknowledge that is the only way to do it.
I can't believe anyone fights about who gets to get up to run at 6am! Brrrr!
Trifle - I'm in the southern hemisphere so not too cold... I def wouldn't be having this argument in the UK
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