Hi everyone, sorry if this is long.
So i have been helping out my younger DB hes 25 since July. He was living in a shared house, but not paying his rent on time, gambiling some of his wages and just being reckless, albeit working full time through out.
Well he lost his room in the shared house, never told anyone until it was too late and then tried to stay with family.
Well he stayed with me for 2 weeks until i found him another place (he didnt bother looking) and as i put up the deposit i took over the finances.
From July - Jan it was issue after issue;
- he didnt like flatsharing - no motivation to work extra to save for his own place
- imagined the LL whom he shared with, didnt like him.
- Was diagnosised with Despression (as i am) wouldn't get a refill of the prescription and once gambled the money i gave him for the prescription.
- i found places to support with the gambling/ counseling for the depression. - wouldn't attend.
- Decided to give notice of the flat and move towns - without having the money to do so (muggins here paid the balance)
- Moved with no job, then got a job in the same chain about 4 weeks later, yelled at the manager and was let go.
- He gets the odd agency work, then 'sleeps in' usually burning his bridges with the agency,
I have let/gave him over £700 in all and i feel it has got him nowhere. I have been for the last few weeks giving him food money as he was suppose to start work as in the care sector, but has said today that they didnt want him, just after he recieved his DBS (who knows!)
The Straw that broke me was that he had paid work yesterday but 'slept in' and he cant help it!
Here i am on my part time wage, subbing his rent and giving him food money and he cant be arsed!!!
So i've handed him back everything today and he can sort himself out. But i feel incredibly guilty - i shouted at him and called him a burden - which was not my finest moment.
But i just cant cope with him anymore.
Was i AIBU?
For what its worth - my mum tried to help him before me, but he was very verbally aggressive to her when he stayed there, left lots of mess and ate all the food without contributing
His plan is to leave his current flat, go on JSA and persue his dream of being an actor. (he did an acting course twice at college and quit because he didnt like the coursework) he also writes and stand up, but cant take criticism.
I dont paint him welli know, but he can be a great, gentle funny generous man, just does not seem to have a concept of being an adult.