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To not take my children to see their dad?

(12 Posts)
One2another Mon 27-Feb-17 11:16:01

Long story but history of fb and now divorced, got my own home and new partner.
Exh has just started to see np a few weeks ago and had them unexpectedly meet her last weekend. They went to his house and dad and np disappeared into the bedroom for half an hour confused leaving dc 13 and 11 alone in the lounge.
Exh and np had the entire weekend together and only my dc for a few hours in the Sunday. He'd cancelled on them at the last minute completely the week before.
Aibu to not take them next week?
Oh and to add, had police at door year because someone told his np of his history of dv and it has come from me causing harrasment in the new life he has created for himself. Nothing to do with me how she found out. But I'm concerned taking dc there in case they witness inappropriate behaviour.

One2another Mon 27-Feb-17 11:16:27

History of DV it should read..

Onthecouchagain Mon 27-Feb-17 11:18:03

Don't think you have grounds to with hold contact. Just keep an eye on situation but nothing you've said there merits you escalating.

MiddleClassProblem Mon 27-Feb-17 11:26:55

I think YABU to stop contact because he and partner were out the room for 30 mins. I could have been anything as with the cancelling.

You don't seem to have dv concerns over the kids with him.

It does sound like you might be looking for problems a bit but these logistics are hard. Generally it's best for a child to have contact with both parents no matter how they feel about one another.

HermioneJeanGranger Mon 27-Feb-17 12:54:57

Nothing you've put is a reason to block contact.

mynachos Mon 27-Feb-17 12:59:12


ImperialBlether Mon 27-Feb-17 13:00:13

If your children want to visit and need help to get there, then help them. He does sound a waste of space - count yourself lucky he's an ex.

luckylucky24 Mon 27-Feb-17 13:00:31

They are 11 and 13, not 1&3 although if they left the room for what you are insinuating then they should have waited until the kids have left. Not an excuse to withhold contact though sorry.

NavyandWhite Mon 27-Feb-17 13:02:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IamFriedSpam Mon 27-Feb-17 13:02:41

dv = domestic violence

I would probably not withhold contact (assuming the DC are happy to go) but if the DC seem unsure about their time with their dad I would make sure they know they can call you to get them.

Crispbutty Mon 27-Feb-17 13:02:58

What sort of behaviour? Your children are old enough to entertain themselves for half an hour surely?

It's not great but it's not inappropriate so long as they aren't doing it in front of the children.

donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 13:47:29

I don't know but i wouldn't be the one facilitating contact - let him come and get them.

I also wouldn't really want my children around a man capable of DV?

And yes him and new partner are quite entitled to go off for 30 minutes if they like but when time is limited with the DC would it kill them to make it a more child orientated time?

they sound like a pair of dickheads to me.

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