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AIBU?

To get annoyed when asked if I am "babysitting"?

62 replies

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 18:55

When I tell people, mainly women but also men, that I have my DS to look after on my own as my wife is away working... more often than not I get... "ah, you babysitting?" Or "daddy day-care huh!?"

NO... it is called parenting!

I know just as much about my DS as my wife does... in fact, given her work patterns, sometimes in periods of change in his behaviour, I know more.

Annoying as hell!!

OP posts:
Friolero · 26/02/2017 18:57

Yes I agree, it's not babysitting when it's your own child! I bumped into one of DH's friends when I was on my way to meet friends a while back, and he asks "Is DH babysitting today then?". "Er no, he's looking after his children".

GodILoveADaquiri · 26/02/2017 18:58

I wish most men thought like this! Often it is men themselves that comment they are 'babysitting' their own child, unfortunately not everyone is as involved as you are, but fair play to you! Smile

KateDaniels2 · 26/02/2017 18:59

Hmm its a funny one because lots of people i know refer to both parents as 'baby sitting' when they have the kids.

Me and dh do. Both will say 'i have plans for x night, you free to sit the kids/ babysit.'

Dh does more childcare or parenting than me as he works from home and i dont. It doesnt bother him.

But if people are genuinely surprised or implying you are a proper parent i can see it would be annoying.

KateDaniels2 · 26/02/2017 19:00

aren't a proper parent

Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2017 19:01

Often men do see it as babysitting that's the problem.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 26/02/2017 19:01

It drives DP up the wall when people ask if he's babysitting. No, he's parenting. The other one which pisses him off is "hands on dad". Nobody has ever referred to me as a "hands on mum", he parents our kids (when he's not at work) as much as I do, so why is he hands on and I'm not?

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:03

Yup, that "hands on" thing pisses me off to.

It is so patronising.

The worst is when dads describe themselves as babysitting... how dare you!

OP posts:
SweatLikeAPigLookLikeAPig · 26/02/2017 19:05

My question is why do you think you know more than your wife about your child??

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:12

Maybe I am just more interested in him.

OP posts:
SweatLikeAPigLookLikeAPig · 26/02/2017 19:16

Did you share mat/pat leave?

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:20

No... but you are right there is no way he has changed in over a year since then...

OP posts:
StarryIllusion · 26/02/2017 19:21

My dp got the right hump about it when one of his friends said it once. "I'm not a teenage girl. They're MY fucking kids!" Were his somewhat drunken words on the subject but we got the sentiment.

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 26/02/2017 19:22

Due to shift DH is SAHP half week- me the other.. Lost count of people who've said to me 'oo aren't you luck he's happy to help out' like you OP this infuriates him (and me) as if he's doing me a favour!!

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 26/02/2017 19:22

Shift working I mean!

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 26/02/2017 19:23

Agree, it's neither childcare or babysitting just parenting. I hear far more women than men call it childcare and it really grates.

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:25

Ha, "happy to help out" that is brilliant! I would have had a field-day with that one!

It would be as fun as seeing a creationist rock up at Richard Dawkins' front door!

OP posts:
ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 26/02/2017 19:28

And they do it with a fucking head tilt too! Condescending twunts! If he does the supermarket shop on his day it's all aww and well done you... Yep 'happy to help' wtf!!

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:30

Shop online... much easier! #bluejob

OP posts:
SweatLikeAPigLookLikeAPig · 26/02/2017 19:32

You sound a bit full of yourself TBH OP

NapQueen · 26/02/2017 19:36

It frustrates me when, if I go away, people are all like "oooh your dh will have a full on weekend" or even worse someone offers to take the dcs for a few hours "for dh".

Yet when dh goes away no one gives a second thought or praises me for having to do it all on my own.

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:39

Nap Queen, you absolutely have a point there!

OP posts:
Chickennuggetfeeder · 26/02/2017 19:39

Was just talking to dp about how it winds me up when i go out and people ask if hes babysitting or say "aw isnt he good". Even when i worked nights i got the same comments. It is anoying and also makes it sound like men arent capable of looking after their own children.

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parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:40

Sweat... why do you say that? Your DC's dad not half of Team Parent?

OP posts:
Eminybob · 26/02/2017 19:43

YANBU op. It pissed me off royally. DH does not babysit as that would imply that he is looking after someone else's kids

We do have a couple of friends who use this phrase if the DH is the one staying in while the DW goes out. And my special favorite, a friend who has to get her mother or mil to look after her DS when she is out as her DH won't/can't.

parentnotbabysitter · 26/02/2017 19:45

Eminy... or when DH is supposed to be... hands off to mother when they don't have anything else on! Angry

OP posts:
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