Apologies in advance if this is long and rambling...
I have a DD10 and a DS7 and a niece DN who is 12 and a nephew (DNN) who is 10. Both my DS and DNN are autistic.
My DS adores his cousins and wants to see them and play with them all the time. He's always asking for them but doesn't get to see them that often. Sometimes we all congregate at my parents house but my mum gets quite stressed out by my DS running around and going upstairs and getting into everything.
We don't ever get invited to my brother's and SILs because of my son and his behaviour.
Because my son (and daughter) want to see their cousins I generally invite them to mine or ask to meet up at the park. My brother always takes hours to either decide and let me know what's happening or to meet us. Half an hour becomes over an hour etc... and all the while, my DS is repeating himself, asking me whether his cousins are coming. Sometimes they don't turn up and I have to explain to him that they aren't coming despite me telling him earlier that they were which does not go down well at all.
If he DOES decide to come round to mine, he will usually drop his son off and leave. His reason for this is his son and daughter start arguing and then no one has any fun. It's hard work looking after two autistic children and he quite often doesn't come and collect him until 9pm or after.
I want them all to have a good relationship and see each other and play and hang out together but AIBU in thinking or feeling that this is all a bit one sided? I end up looking after both boys and my daughter and don't get any company whilst I am doing it which is also something I would like. I need a rest sometimes and a change and I end up with more childcare.
My children's father isn't around. He lives in a flat about 5 minutes away but doesn't see DS often. No one else invites him round or offers to look after him.
I don't mind DNN coming round but I don't see why one of his parents can't stay too.