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Cheating the system

(437 Posts)
AngryNameChanger Sun 26-Feb-17 14:19:49

I have a friend, a very good friend in fact, that I want to report for benefit fraud. I feel as unhappy as anything that I feel this way, but I do, and short of cutting all contact with her I will continue to feel very annoyed towards her.
In all honesty, even if I cut all ties, I would still feel very pissed off!

She is a lone parent to 2 primary age kids but she receives a large amount each month in benefits. So much in fact that she manages to save around 500 each month and book holidays, expensive days out and never has to go without anything. It's not on credit, she's very open about it all and will happily tell everyone exactly how much she gets and what it's spent on.

Part of what makes up her huge payments every month is a disability payment for one of the dc, but they are not actually effected by their disability iyswim, and friend has mentioned a few times that she really shouldn't get this payment but when check ups happen they lay it on thickly! I don't want to elaborate more as it could be very outing along with all the other info!

The disability payment, while annoying (her child is as able in everything as other children in every way, but because of a very small thing she gets the payment) isn't the issue, if the powers that be say she is entitled then she's entitled.

I've put this in to show that she's not hard up and stuggling to make ends meet in any way.

My problem is that on top of everything, she's also earning money on the side! Quite a lot of money too, at least £100 per week. Sometimes more.

This is really pissing me off and I'm struggling to remain civil With her when she's talking about money (all the time!)

I feel very strongly that what she's doing is crossing a big line. I don't think it's based on jealousy either, even if that's what's coming across. She is my friend and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I don't think she should be able to just carry on milking the system for every penny while also earning on the side.

I also don't want to put her in a position of struggling because I've said something, although i do feel that if she wasn't doing it then she wouldn't be in the position of getting in trouble.

In all honesty I don't think I can remain friends either way after putting all this down. It has really clarified It all for me.

So my aibu is, aibu to report her?

Trifleorbust Sun 26-Feb-17 14:22:41

And to call her a friend? Yes.

Magzmarsh Sun 26-Feb-17 14:23:02

I wouldn't be reporting her on the issue of the DLA payment (or whatever they call it these days), that's none of your business and afaik the assessments are pretty comprehensive, they don't give DLA willy nilly.

If she's earning and not declaring it, that's an entirely different matter.

NavyandWhite Sun 26-Feb-17 14:23:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItchyFoot Sun 26-Feb-17 14:26:05

Me and dp are on various benefits. You're allowed to earn some yourself. About £130 a week I think

AngryNameChanger Sun 26-Feb-17 14:26:16

Is not about the dla payment. As I've said, I've put that in to show she's not struggling financially at all.

My problem is she's earning hundreds of pounds each month while also getting the full whack of benefits.

Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong?

And as for 'laying it on thick', you don't know what the disability is. I do. It's not a learning disability. And I also know what she tells me.

AngryNameChanger Sun 26-Feb-17 14:27:32

I know what she can earn. It's 20 pounds a week without declaring it. She's earning g over 100, sometimes closer to 200.

NavyandWhite Sun 26-Feb-17 14:29:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinfoilHattie Sun 26-Feb-17 14:29:51

Don't know how disability payments work so won't comment on that bit.

Working and not declaring it, and therefore not paying any tax or NI either is very wrong and yes I would be reporting her. I also couldn't be friends with someone who thought that sort of behaviour is OK as their morals and outlook on life are very different to mine.

ItchyFoot Sun 26-Feb-17 14:30:33

We're on. DLA, ESA and carers allowance. She can earn more than £20

NavyandWhite Sun 26-Feb-17 14:30:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngryNameChanger Sun 26-Feb-17 14:31:04

I'm not envious. I'm cross that someone can get away with earning a wage but still, through being dishonest, get full benefits.

I can't believe I'm the only one who thinks this.

PurpleDaisies Sun 26-Feb-17 14:31:22

How do you know she isn't declaring her extra income?

Is bloody difficult to get DLA. Despite what the gutter press would have you think, "laying it on thick" doesn't get you approved. Thousands of people who should genuinely qualify for this help are turned down because the system is stacked against them.

You seem to know a lot about your "friend's" financial situation.

AngryNameChanger Sun 26-Feb-17 14:31:40

She has told me she lays it on thick. Her words not mine.

Screwinthetuna Sun 26-Feb-17 14:31:42

I wouldn't report a friend, no. I know several people who 'play' the system by earning a penny under the maximum and claiming lots (while also not declaring some work as they are self employed). They have things I can't afford but on paper it's all legit. It's annoying but doesn't affect my life in any way, same as what she does doesn't affect your life in any way. Secretly, I think you would be equally as angry if she met a very rich man and was suddenly rolling in it, legitimately.

IateallthePies654 Sun 26-Feb-17 14:31:45

Meh, it's a tiny drop in the ocean of fraud..if leave it.

IateallthePies654 Sun 26-Feb-17 14:32:04

I'd *!

NavyandWhite Sun 26-Feb-17 14:32:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sun 26-Feb-17 14:33:21

You do understand that there are stringent checks on all claims for DLA don't you?

AngryNameChanger Sun 26-Feb-17 14:33:30

I know she isn't declaring it. She is happy to say as much. She has also mentioned that she doesn't put anything on social media about her jobs just in case someone sees it and reports her. She knows what she's doing.

Sunnysky2016 Sun 26-Feb-17 14:35:00

As far as disability benefits go, and as far as I am aware- it's not what the diagnosis is these days. It's about what an individual can or cannot do on a majority of days. Having a 'diagnosis' named as such does not mean a lot. So I would stay out of that part if I was you- also it's not means tested. So she could be earning 50k a year and still receive it.

angeldelightedme Sun 26-Feb-17 14:35:21

who needs enemies with friends like you? How do you know the income isn't declared.You don't!

NavyandWhite Sun 26-Feb-17 14:36:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngryNameChanger Sun 26-Feb-17 14:36:53

I don't actually think it's dla. It's an extra payment through tax credits.

I would be very happy if she met a rich man. It's not about if she has more money than me. It's that what she's doing is wrong.
I don't steal from a shop because it's illegal, isn't this the same thing? She could easily live on the money she earns but she doesn't want to. She wants the extra benefits that she shouldn't be getting so she has lots of disposable income.

foodtime Sun 26-Feb-17 14:37:34

Not £100 a week. hmm

You do sound bitter and an awful person.

Don't be jelly. If your not doing well in life work on yourself.

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