Phew that was a close one (light hearted)

[seeingdouble2]

So I am totally busting for a wee, go to sit down and was ready to my thing, then horrible thought this does not feel right.
I was thinking why the hell is my lady flower feeling plastic?

Some shit in the house had put the lid down,which fucking never happens like ever Thank god the old IBS wasn't wasn't a factor have a 3 second rule to get there pants down and do the deed. Nearly had the river Thames on my bathroom floor, AIBU to go off to find the little fucker
Any near misses for Me users

[KanyeWesticle]

On no OP, I know the feeling. I did this once at my Auntie's. Arrived busting for a wee after a long drive, peed all over her shell shaped loo seat. Luckily no toilet mat or carpet, just vinyl flooring. So I mopped it up with loo roll and pretended nothing happened. Grim I know!

[lovetonamechange]

Yabu to use the phrase lady flower. How revolting.

[SaudadeObama]

I did this too, exactly the same as Kanye, at my aunties. I didn't mop it up though I just screamed in my defence I was only 9 at the time. Everyone came in to see me with my knickers in a puddle of pee. My cousin called me pissy for years, until I was 30 actually. It didn't get old for him. One day his wife, who didn't speak English very well complimented my grandmother on her beautiful clitoris (she meant clemitis). Next time he called me pisspot I asked how his clitoris was getting on. Never called me it again