I feel like an utter shit mum right now. dd1 had always been poor sleeper but is now finally sleeping though (well comes into our between 3am and 7am which I don't mind). Problem is getting her to sleep. She's 3 and her general behaviour has gone right downhill anyway. Loud, bossy, always hungry, demanding. Just annoying to be honest. Though she is also funny clever creative lovely (all the positives everyone would say about their 3 year old). We also have a new baby so I know some of dd1 attitude will be due to all that but hee sleeping isn't.
So I ebf and made mistake of feeding her to sleep. She'd only sleep that way for ages and weaned herself from night feeds around 2.25yrs. Since then needs me beside her for her to sleep (even went though phase of needing to rest her head in my arm but I managed to stop that quick as gave me dead arm!). DH did eventually manage to settle her and did quite frequently when baby arrived and I was recovering from birth etc. Now it's only me she won't let DH near her at bedtimes. So DH gets home around 630-7 and we take dd1 up for wash, teeth brush and pjs. It's a nightmare she won't listen won't do it runs a round. Then she gets 3 short books read and lights out. I tell her a few made up stories in quiet voices and she does sleep eventually usually by 830, sometimes nearer 9. It's far too late for her I know.
During this time DH is changing baby who is often very upset. She is also ebf and won't take a bottle (we are trying as dd1 refused and that was a nightmare). DD2 often upset sometimes needs to come in for a feed etc which I feel then disturbea dd1. By time dd1 is asleep we are both exhausted. I take over baby duty so DH can have his warmed up meal.
It's crazy right?! I don't know how to fix it and feel like it's all my fault. I don't want to do cc. DH did try it once and it was horrible. Dd1 in state and I was in tears downstairs. I tried gradual retreat but doesn't seem to matter she'll just come out the room. I want to try reward stickers but she doesn't seem to get them and it's not immediate i.e. I'd have to give her them in morning if she went to sleep well. So we can't go on like this. i was on own tonight and it was horrible. Baby crying and dd1 wouldn't stay in room without me so was half in half out her room trying to settle baby and how is dd1 suppose to sleep with all that anyway!?! So how to I fix this and how so I make sure this doesn't happen again with DD2!? We couldn't cope for another 3+ years of the same. So far she seems a better sleeper naturally. I am often feeding her to sleep but equally she'll be rocked okay and has once so far went to sleep in cot on own. What maps should she be having?! Dd1 was a nightmare for those too. Catnaps when young then mainly had to take her in pram then later car as for older or she just wouldn't nap. Never ever napped in cot. I remember going to a friends for lunch and she popped her similar aged DS into a sleep bag took him up to cot and left him and he was still asleep when we left 2hrs later!!! I couldn't believe it.
I feel like such a crap mum compared to everyone I meet. I feel like the scruff at nursery pick ups and the badly behaved children (though by all accounts she is generally ok at nursery...certainly no behaviour complains other than she was a bit Moany). I can't even get a meal out on the table for us all and I am letting dd1 watch far too much tv right now as I can't cope otherwise.
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To think our bedtime situation madness!?
48 replies
SleepFail24 · 25/02/2017 21:44
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