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I want to tell her to fuck off

(119 Posts)
oldjacksscrote Sat 25-Feb-17 19:04:07

Sorry it's long and boring.

We're seeing the pil tomorrow morning, OH has just spoken to mil on the phone, mentioned we were having difficulty finding a car seat to fit the new car (looking for rear facing but struggling to find any compatible) made the mistake of mentioning some of the European countries car seat laws and how good they were, this resulted in an almighty rant about how it didn't matter because we were coming out of the EU and that "they're all crap with their kids any way and England has the best safety" she went on for a while and my partner just made his excuse to end the call.

When we see MIL tomorrow I'm going to have to deal with the same conversation, which will infuriate me, she's shouty and talks over me all the time, how do I not tell her to fuck off??!

I've had a difficult relationship with pil, we were nc for a while but have all been making the effort lately for the sake of OH and our dc.

AgathaRaisonDetra Sat 25-Feb-17 19:06:25

Tell her to fuck off. grabs popcorn and settles in...

PastysPrincess Sat 25-Feb-17 19:13:08

I dont know but please come back and tell us what happened.

ragz134 Sat 25-Feb-17 19:13:08

Is your MIL my MIL?
Shouty, opinionated and racist...

tinglyfing Sat 25-Feb-17 19:14:30

I would just let her wear herself out. Let her keep going until she runs out of steam. Don't argue back. She only had her own voice to listen to then. Smile sweetly.

Then go home and smash plates in the back garden.

Cherrysoup Sat 25-Feb-17 19:15:19

Change the topic very quickly. If she starts banging on about it, very hard stare and say very firmly 'I do not want to talk about this'. Repeat if she continues, leave the room if she persists.

oldjacksscrote Sat 25-Feb-17 19:17:37

Could well be ragz she tries to limit her racist rants when I'm around but she just can't seem to manage more than a few minutes. OH seems to manage to let it wash over him and I just get really frustrated, even when presenting her with actual facts, she still dismisses me, because I'm a "silly little girl"

chocolateisnecessary Sat 25-Feb-17 19:18:01

That's hilarious! Take a good statistic. Good luck!

Bluebellevergreen Sat 25-Feb-17 19:19:31

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 it is awful when you get comments like this from family

oldjacksscrote Sat 25-Feb-17 19:20:01

I've actually got loads of plates that I've been waiting to take to the tip, I might now have a use for them now, thanks tingly

HecateAntaia Sat 25-Feb-17 19:20:03

dont engage.

lots of hmm. ok. hmm.

it takes 2 people to have an argument.

she'll look pretty silly trying to have one by herself.

tinglyfing Sat 25-Feb-17 19:20:57

She has called you a silly little girl??!!

Please ignore my previous post.

Tell her to fuck right off!!!! With bells on!!!

MiddleClassProblem Sat 25-Feb-17 19:21:18

Ugh. Good luck tomorrow.

I'm guessing you tried Joie Stages?

abbsisspartacus Sat 25-Feb-17 19:22:37

I would have a quiet conversation where she could hear and mention words like old and care assesment possibly a bit of the word inheritance

Or you could just build a fire and throw on petrol

tinglyfing Sat 25-Feb-17 19:23:06

Edit - Smash your plates in her back garden!!

abbsisspartacus Sat 25-Feb-17 19:23:45

Disclaimer

I'm pissed off today so I'm not the best one to ask for advice

Gatehouse77 Sat 25-Feb-17 19:24:13

I'd be inclined to respond with "That's an interesting view point." And nothing more. Don't give her anything to continue the conversation.

Glossolalia Sat 25-Feb-17 19:24:18

Your MIL sounds like my FIL.

You have my sympathy.

Bluetrews25 Sat 25-Feb-17 19:28:04

You might want to reconsider the NC situation again and reinstate it. Is it really worth keeping in contact?

QueenOfTheCatBastards Sat 25-Feb-17 19:28:40

"Your opinion is worthless, I'm off to the tip until you've left."

Or gin. Lots and lots of gin.

BellyBean Sat 25-Feb-17 19:28:56

When my DD is adamant blue is green and won't be swayed, I just say 'oh
Is that right? And change the subject. I imagine would work as well on mil.

ButterBeanSoup Sat 25-Feb-17 19:29:33

Smash HER plates in front of her! Silly little girl?! Hold me back....

normal woman, not able to give objective advice right now-

Finola1step Sat 25-Feb-17 19:31:20

Knitting. Take up knitting. Then every time she starts, take your knitting out of your bag and start clacking away. Every time.

It will effing infuriate her. Before you know it, you could make a blanket for the dc's dolls pram, dog basket, for teddy etc etc. And every time you look at your creation, you will have an intense sense of satisfaction. Trust me. Knitting.

ReturnToWorkSoon Sat 25-Feb-17 19:33:01

Wow she sounds a nightmare! Good luck

oldjacksscrote Sat 25-Feb-17 19:34:55

we went nc after she called me that (shouted it at me across a restaurant), then there were 5 months of couples therapy which finally broke me down to trying again, she does try and I can see it really pains her to be civil towards me but as time goes on she's getting on my nerves more and more and I'm finding it difficult to keep my cool.

middleclass I wanted the Joie every stage but our new car isn't listed on their site.

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