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So, AIBU or what

(101 Posts)
Namechangealert123 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:38:09

I have been feeling ill for a couple of days. H is not a good cook, I am a good cook so I have chosen to carry on cooking things I like in the hope I might actually want to eat something.

Yesterday I made a plum cake, shepherds pie for dinner, couldn't eat any of it.

Today I made crumpets for breakfast - couldn't face them and Chicken Laska for lunch - couldn't eat it.

H just came in from a walk and asked me if I wanted anything - no thanks.

He then sat next to me with a piece of cake and a massive portion of vanilla ice cream (the last of it). I said 'oooh I hadn't thought of ice cream, can I have some in a ramekin with a little spoon' - his response was, 'this is the last of it, I will save you some, you can have my bowl when I have finished'.

I didn't want his bowl when he had finished, I wanted a clean small ramekin with a bit of his massive serving of the last of the ice cream.

I should have asked him before he sat down apparently. He did get it under protest - I am clearly asking too much - not!

I am the one with the problem according to him, the selfish git. I said that if I related this to any of my friends/family they would agree with me - god this is so bloody petty - the completely selfish git.

Namechangealert123 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:38:48

Namechanged so that I can show him the thread as long as it goes my way.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 25-Feb-17 15:41:23

If he'd already sat down with it then I think YABU.

ScarlettFreestone Sat 25-Feb-17 15:41:50

So you're ill and off your food but have continued to cook for your DH while feeling unwell?

And you asked him to stand up, walk to the kitchen and transfer a small amount from his bowl into one for you? And he said "no" knowing that you haven't wanted for days?

Nope, you're not the one that's unreasonable, not even a tiny bit.

potoftea Sat 25-Feb-17 15:42:16

Sorry but I think he was very reasonable. But I know when you feel ill any little thing going against you is a big deal.

Namechangealert123 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:43:02

That is it in a nutshell Scarlett, spot on. I have continued to cook but not been able to face eating anything.

MiddleClassProblem Sat 25-Feb-17 15:43:22

I think YABU. He'd settled down and started eating it. You sound very pissed off about it in relativity and if you are so poorly the sugar may not help. Even your title read as aggressive to me! Maybe have some rest and see if he can pop out and get some more?

Namechangealert123 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:45:02

He had not started eating it.

MiddleClassProblem Sat 25-Feb-17 15:45:05

I think you are milking your part a bit. You chose to cook. I'm sure he could have sorted something out for himself for a few days.

Namechangealert123 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:46:30

Yes, he could cook - but he is not a good cook and the likelihood of me wanting to eat what he cooks is tiny, DC even more so. I carried on cooking in the hope I would want to eat it.

SenoritaViva Sat 25-Feb-17 15:47:14

He offered to share it with you, that's fine. If you're off your food don't cook. Your DH can look after himself even if the crumpets won't be homemade!

pigsDOfly Sat 25-Feb-17 15:47:18

You're not well, it wouldn't have hurt him to just pop to the kitchen and get you what you wanted.

But perhaps I'm a bit sensitive about this sort of thing as years ago I was ill in bed for about three days and my then H, now exh, didn't once even offer me a cup of coffee, let alone make food for me. I had to go downstairs for anything I wanted or ask the DC.

AQuietMind Sat 25-Feb-17 15:48:37

H just came in from a walk and asked me if I wanted anything - no thanks.

He asked you if you wanted anything and you said no confused

Am I missing something? If not then yes yabu.

MiddleClassProblem Sat 25-Feb-17 15:51:45

But you didn't cook anything you would want to eat... and I'm sure dcs would have coped with something you just pop in the oven or something basic.

ScarlettFreestone Sat 25-Feb-17 15:53:19


I'm really surprised at some of these responses. He's your DH, he's meant to love you and want to take care of you when you're ill.

How much effort was it to share the ice cream?

Seriously, what an arse.

Oysterbabe Sat 25-Feb-17 15:56:28

I think if you're well enough to cook you're well enough to get your own ramekin if you weren't happy to use his bowl.

VimFuego101 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:58:19

There's nothing g more annoying than someone wanting a bit of your food when you've sat down with it and are getting ready to eat it. He should have asked you if you wanted any though, before he dished some up for himself and used it all up.

AQuietMind Sat 25-Feb-17 16:04:48

How much effort was it to share the ice cream?

He never said he wouldn't share, He said he would save her some.

SpreadYourHappiness Sat 25-Feb-17 16:04:48

YABU. He asked you if you wanted anything, you said no. He got settled down with his food and then you decided you wanted some. He very kindly offered you some after he'd finished. If you were fussy enough to want an entirely separate bowl right at that very second, you should have got it yourself.

JP1985 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:08:53

So he asked you if you wanted anything, you said no so he got himself some. Sat down to eat it and then you wanted some of his but didn't want his bowl? Why did you need a ramekin? I think YABU. It's not like he wasn't prepared to share.

golfbuggy Sat 25-Feb-17 16:11:09

I can't see how he's being selfish either. he was happy to share - just not to get up after he'd already sat down so that you could have exactly the eating container you wanted.

diddl Sat 25-Feb-17 16:12:13


Good grief!

IamFriedSpam Sat 25-Feb-17 16:12:54

I think it would have been nice for him to go to the kitchen for you but you did over react a bit.

KateDaniels2 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:13:47

Wow yabu.

He asked if you wanted anything and was going to share. He just didnt want to get up.

Big deal.

happypoobum Sat 25-Feb-17 16:14:13

I think your illness has turned you into an unreasonable martyr OP grin

Never mind - get him to go to the shops and get you some more ice cream later.

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