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To think that midwives/drs don't take your pregnancy seriously unless you're ready to pop!

(58 Posts)
CurlyCallie Sat 25-Feb-17 15:08:22

Im probably over reacting but in my eyes better to be safe than sorry,

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby, been feeling movement for a few weeks now. Yesterday I picked up my squirming toddler and as I did got a very strange sharp pinging pain in my belly, and a similar pain as I got out of a chair not long afterwards. I can't remember having felt my baby move since then, I've done all the usual, ate, had cold drink, laid on my side, then my other side - I've literally waited almost 24hrs for some kind of little nudge and now I'm panicking slightly.

Called M/W as they all tell you to do with any worry big or small and she says that there's nothing they can do because I'm so early yet. I asked what if I went to the hospital for some reassurance and she said I could if that's what I felt I had to do but to be aware they will under no consideration monitor me because I'm far too early yet. I know the sex of my baby, I've SEEN my baby, I've felt my baby... its not like it's imaginary?! I started to panic (and cry a little) and she must have heard because then and only then did she suggested popping to the midwives office for a Doppler. That's all I wanted! I'm not some hyperchondriac who wants strapping to monitor or ultrasound for no reason I only wanted reassurance my baby was okay?

I came off the phone absolutely dumbfounded... so if I hadn't felt anything for the next 10 days I'd have to wait for my 20 weeks scan to see if my baby was even still alive?!

Like I said I'm 99% sure I'm over reacting but this is my child I'm thinking of, so many friends have lost babies and I thought I should do whatever I could to make sure he's safe?

Am I being unreasonable??

PlayOnWurtz Sat 25-Feb-17 15:13:22

Phone again if you're worried. They take me seriously and I'm only just under 6 weeks!! You're concerned and those concerns need addressing. flowers

AgentCooper Sat 25-Feb-17 15:17:54

I'm only 6 weeks Curly but I sympathise. You feel so bloody alone. I was at the early pregnancy unit this week for bleeding and they were so, so good and supportive, much more so than anyone else I've dealt with. Just phone again, seriously, say you're really concerned. Fobbing you off isn't good enough.

jacks11 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:18:30

I think you are overreacting, but you are not unreasonable to worry.

However, at 18 weeks gestation there is very little anyone can do if there was something wrong, as your midwife explained. Perhaps she could have offered to listen in for a fetal heart beat, but I can understand why she didn't if I'm honest.

passthewineplz Sat 25-Feb-17 15:18:44

Please ring the hospital contact number in your notes and go get checked out.

Oysterbabe Sat 25-Feb-17 15:18:57

I think you are being a bit unreasonable but you're pregnant and anxious so understandable. flowers
It's entirely normal at 18 weeks for the baby to move into a position where you can no longer feel it. It's tiny and has loads of room. The pinging sounds like round ligament pain, I had it loads if I tried to move too fast! Then there's the fact that if your baby was struggling there is nothing they can do, it's too early.
The NHS is low on resources and there's only so much they can do to reassure people who are overanxious.

BarbarianMum Sat 25-Feb-17 15:20:10

As i remember it 18 weeks is when you just start feeling movements. It is very common not to feel much for days at a time at this point - your baby is still very small and how much you feel will depend a lot on where the placenta is attached.

The hard truth is that, at 18 weeks, there is little anyone can do to keep your baby safe if there is a problem.

However, you are also their patient and there is plenty they can do to help keep you safe. Starting with some reassurance.

Funnyonion17 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:21:57

Sounds like round ligament paint, very scary the first few times you feel it.

WhisperedLoudest Sat 25-Feb-17 15:24:36

I think you're being unreasonable but I understand why you're concerned.

The sad fact is that if there was something wrong with your baby there is nothing that could be done and unless you are experiencing specific symptoms which are compromising your health you are better off trying to relax at home

passthewineplz Sat 25-Feb-17 15:25:48

If you ever experience any change of movements the advice is to get checked out. What your MV has told you is incorrect, for peace of mind you should be monitored.

Notanotherpawpatrol Sat 25-Feb-17 15:28:39

The pinging sounds like ligiment pain, very common for it to be a sharp pinging pain especially in subsequent pregnancies.

However I totally get what you are saying. I phoned my hospital this morning because of reduced movements. I explained that although she is moving something just feels off. It's been like this since Wednesday and I've tried all the usual stuff, the midwife I spoke to said to drink a big drink and to lie on my left hand side for 2 hours. Call back if I didn't have 10 movements. Although I did get 10 movements they weren't right, very soft sluggish movements, not the normal kicks and punches I get. They won't consider checking me out as I had 10 movements in 2 hours. I'm 31+6 confused they still say it's too early.

jacks11 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:28:55

Bleeding in early pregnancy is a different thing though. There are other considerations than feeling of reduced movements. For example, although nothing can be done if it's a threatened miscarriage, if the pregnancy has not yet been confirmed to be an intrauterine one then the concern could be an ectopic pregnancy which needs to be identified ASAP to prevent serious complications.

I'm not saying OP shouldn't contact her midwife if she's concerned, she absolutely should. She could have arranged an appointment to listen in for the fetal heartbeat, but there isn't much more to be done in this situation. It is not being fobbed off.

I think getting into the realms of doing much more, if it is not clinically indicated, just sets up unrealistic expectations. I know we struggle with the number of women who want monitoring/scans because they are worried- we just simply don't have the staffing or resources. It's not that we don't realise sometimes the parents just want reassurance, and in an ideal world we perhaps could do more, but there is so little slack in the system to cope with that.

Crunchymum Sat 25-Feb-17 15:29:16

Pregnancy is such a hard time and I promise I know this first hand I am a recurrent miscarriage sufferer

But resources are not infinite and lines have to be drawn somewhere.

Movements only "counted" from 24w at my hospital. Granted anything massive like severe pain / bleeding would have you seen at anytime, but OP you wouldn't have been seen at my hospital.

Hope all is OK and I hope you get some reassurance.

Going forwards, maybe investing in a doppler for home use could be an option? Or booking a few private scans on top of your NHS ones?

FATEdestiny Sat 25-Feb-17 15:29:57

You are being unreasonable, but I understand how you feel.

The baby will often move into positions where you cannot feel then at 18 weeks. It is unreasonable to expect investigation from HCP because of this. It could eadily happen again next week and the week after - will you panic like this every time?

If you will, finding ways to get less panicked about it may be most useful.

I found simply blocking out such thoughts and distraction most useful.

CurlyCallie Sat 25-Feb-17 15:30:19

I wish I'd never called them now I feel so stupid. I just felt so worried and when I called the one place I thought would've able to help I felt like a child myself who'd got it wrong. Still worried but now feel pathetic too lol it's hard to know what to do for the best. Heaven forbid if anything was wrong how could I forgive myself for not making a phone call? Or doing nothing about my gut feelings, right or wrong?

passthewineplz Sat 25-Feb-17 15:31:16

The counting 10 kicks in 2 hours and lying on your side for 2 hours, after eating or drinking is outdated advice.

All changes in movements should be monitored.

Oysterbabe Sat 25-Feb-17 15:32:09

But if something was wrong Curly there is nothing they can do.

EmeraldIsle86 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:36:21

Yes YABU. Unfortunately, at 18 weeks, there's very little anyone can do if something is wrong. At my hospital, the mw unit won't see toy until at least 20 weeks.

Hope everything's ok though flowers

jacks11 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:37:56


Yes, the advice is a change in the number of movements is all that matters as each baby can be different. But at 18 weeks it is not uncommon for reduced movements to be felt and so full monitoring would only be indicated if other symptoms. The midwife could have offered to listen in for fetal heartbeat but is right to say it would be too early for any intervention.

OP, you shouldn't feel like a child who's done something wrong as you called for advice which was the right thing to do. You got advice and from your post I think you are going to go to the midwife for her to listen in for a heartbeat? If so, that should help you feel more reassured.

FATEdestiny Sat 25-Feb-17 15:39:24

My midwife wouldn't listen with a dopler until after 20 weeks. She explained that until then, it's not unusual for baby to get into a position where you can't find it's heatbeat (or feel movements). So trying and failing to find a heartbeat is more distressing than not trying at all.

EmeraldIsle86 Sat 25-Feb-17 15:39:26

What Oyster said.

Also, there are huge posters everywhere in my hospital mw until with advice about movements...first advice is to lie on your side quietly for 2 hours and count the movements so seems pretty current to me.

ShowMePotatoSalad Sat 25-Feb-17 15:41:26

I've never understood this "if something is wrong there is nothing they can do". It doesn't mean you can leave people without support or not try to address their concerns.

Also if a woman is experiencing significant pain it could be a sign that she herself needs medical attention so no, it's not just a case of saying there's nothing we can do.

OP it can be a very anxious time. Do you have a drop-in midwife session near you? Round here it's not an appointment system - you just go to a clinic on a certain day/time and they take your name and the midwife just sees everyone on a first-come, first-served basis. They will help reassure you and have a doppler that can be used to listen to the heartbeat.

I think a lot more needs to be done to address prenatal anxiety and one of those ways is to stop this culture of saying "you are being silly" and "there is nothing we could do anyway".

passthewineplz Sat 25-Feb-17 15:43:03

jacks11 yes it's too early for intervention, however for the MV to potentially leave the OP 2 weeks with no reassurance is wrong!

Scrumptiousbears Sat 25-Feb-17 15:43:03

Throughout pregnancy you're concerned. You think "if only I get to the 12 week scan I can relax" then there's the 20 week scan you start worrying about. Thing is you can drive yourself crazy. Best thing is to get used to your own body. Following a pregnancy app can help as these will tell you such things like the ligament pain for example. However like some other PP have said the NHS with all the best will in the world have very limited resources and these have to be directed to those in most In need.

Saying that one bad thing about those pregnancy apps is the chat forums which breeds worry and the women often encourage each other to go to A&E for a reassurance scan which is utter rubbish. If you want reassurance pay privately.

LoupGarou Sat 25-Feb-17 15:45:04

YANBU, as other have said, all changes in movements need to be monitored, if you are worried, get it checked. I have had four stillborn DC plus late miscarriages and missed miscarriages, it is always better to be safe than sorry - far better to feel silly having been reassured everything is well.

It isn't true that they can't do anything at 18 weeks, it depends what the problem is but our hospital managed to stop me going into labour at 18 weeks with DS, I noticed something different and went in to be checked, and it was lucky I did, DS is our sole living child.

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