Name changed as this will be horrifically identifying. I'll try not to drip feed so this may be quite long.
I have 2 kids with my ex, typically we share their care 50/50 but this is interspersed with periods where her provision for their safety has been sub-par, (having violent guys around them) and they've lived with me full time. I have a court order that gives me residence if I feel the need to enforce it.
After the latest loser abuser has finally left the scene we've recently recently gone back to shared care, but now she's told me she wants to take in a lodger to get around the bedroom tax (she has a 2 bed flat) and get a few quid. She's unemployed on JSA so the money would come in handy sure.
But, the lodger is a man and has a child... Her last abuser also moved in under the guise of being a lodger, so I'm quite suspicious of exactly what she's up to. As it's a 2 bed flat it also raises a question about where everyone will go when our kids are at hers, their Mum has her bed in the sitting room, I presume our kids will share, and the lodger and his kid will have the other room.
Gut feeling tells me she will end up sharing her bed with the lodger man, and that this is just a thinly disguised attempt to get him in through the back door and introduce him to the kids as a friend without the obviously beneficial period of figuring out if the lodger is nasty or not. She has plenty of form for introducing the kids to new boyfriends within a couple of days, including drug dealers and peados etc.
She also wants me to hand over the child benefit and tax credits as I work and she says she needs them more (latest abuser saddled her with a ton of debt).
Basically I know I can't stop her taking in the lodger if she so chooses, but WIBU to tell her that I think it's a bad idea and tell her I'm not supportive of it?
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AIBU?
To be suspicious of my kids mum re: lodger?
172 replies
YetAnotherUser · 25/02/2017 13:22
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