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To worry about my mother moving?

(6 Posts)
Oldowl Sat 25-Feb-17 12:21:17

Background:
Dad passed away last year. Mum (age 72, married for 48 yrs) had been his carer for the past 6 years after the complications of diabetes set in - heart problems, leg amputation, blindness.

Mum was relieved when dad died and coped by booking lots of holidays.

In September, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and has had a mastectomy and just finished radiotherapy.

Two days ago she announced she had just sold her house to a neighbour and is moving to Eastbourne!

She lives in the East Midlands and has done so for the last 46 years. So all her friends, neighbours and support network are nearby. The only family she has are a sister (82) in Cornwall, a son in Portsmouth and me in Essex. We are both in our 40s and have young children.

Mum has only been to Eastbourne once in her life (on a 5 day coach trip last summer). Now she wants to relocate her whole life to a part of the world where she does not know a soul.

Mad or exciting?

On a practical note, if you know Eastbourne which areas are lovely and which are ones to avoid?

Skooba Sat 25-Feb-17 12:25:24

I think she must have met someone, not necessarily romantically, but there must be something to draw her there.

fourquenelles Sat 25-Feb-17 12:26:39

She could do a lot worse than Eastbourne as it is geared for the retired person (it is affectionately called "God's waiting room" by many). I used to live up the coast in Bexhill and my DD was born in Eastbourne hospital. Good NHS services, nice climate, lots to do for the active or not so active older person. If she is chatty and prepared to join clubs, make the first move socially etc she will be fine. Transport is good up to London too. Can't help with areas a not lived there for decades now. She is brave and I hope her adventure pays off for her.

Birdsgottaf1y Sat 25-Feb-17 12:30:06

I was watching Judge Rinder last week and a Woman who was Widowed did something similar (she was claiming back money from her new LL).

She said she did it to escape, but realised that she had made a mistake.

Either that, or as said, she's met someone.

Although, if I could (I have a disabled Adult DD), I'd re-locate in my 60's.

mummymeister Sat 25-Feb-17 12:30:36

please make sure she has sold her house for what it is worth. there are some very unscrupulous people out there unfortunately.

I don't think she has thought this through and its a bit of a knee jerk reaction if I am honest. be absolutely certain she knows her own mind.

if she does, then at the end of the day she is an adult and its up to her but perhaps she doesn't realise how isolating it can be. explain the difference in how much you see her now as to how much you will be able to see of her when she moves.

all you can really do is explain the pitfalls and support her decision.

FWIW - we used to have family in Eastbourne - its a bit of a sleepy place with a reputation as gods waiting room. Polegate is a nice area but have only holidayed there not lived there. might be worth posting this on one of the other message boards on MN so you get details from people who live there.

Oldowl Sat 25-Feb-17 18:16:24

Thank you for your replies.

If only she had met someone, but sadly this is a knee jerk reaction.

Within days of dad dying she said she wanted to move to be near the sea. She does not want to be on either of our doorsteps and so has gone for Eastbourne.

I will look up Polegate- thank you mummmymeister.

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