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To not want my wife to use my favourite hat to waft her farts

(48 Posts)
joystir59 Fri 24-Feb-17 21:14:48

That's it really- just sitting here watching TV and she does a little deadly one and reaches to grab my beautiful little hand knitted fair isle hat off the arm of the chair in order to waft the fumes away. Imagine tomorrow, walking through town and everyone sniffing as I pass by.

DeathByMascara Fri 24-Feb-17 21:15:11

I love her.

ArchNotImpudent Fri 24-Feb-17 21:17:12

I can't imagine a knitted hat is very effective at fart-wafting. Have you considered buying her a fan?

Iris65 Fri 24-Feb-17 21:17:24

🤣

OnHold Fri 24-Feb-17 21:18:11

Urgh

Pollyanna9 Fri 24-Feb-17 21:18:22

Buy her one of these: www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mini-Portable-Pocket-Fan-Cool-Air-Hand-Held-Battery-Travel-Blower-Cooler-Desk-/381374218077?var=&hash=item58cbacbf5d:m:mItOZpJ8mYbSKOhouzyk4Yw

And hide your hat.

fruitbats Fri 24-Feb-17 21:23:22

I think it's a good use for a fair isle hat grin

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Fri 24-Feb-17 21:25:33

I can't believe people are making light of this situation.

Get her a Panama grin

RustyPaperclip Fri 24-Feb-17 21:27:14

That is a shocking use of a hand knitted fair isle hat! Whatever next?! Will she be wiping the sweat from her brow with a mohair sweater? Nip it in the bud OP. This is a serious crime against knitwear

Hellmouth Fri 24-Feb-17 21:27:32

Hey at least she tried to waft it away :D

Hassled Fri 24-Feb-17 21:27:57

I think this all hinges on who knitted the hand-knitted hat. Much loved elderly aunt or suchlike = YANBU. Someone you've never met = YABU.

Wriggler79 Fri 24-Feb-17 22:03:36

Best AIBU ever.

ShowMePotatoSalad Fri 24-Feb-17 22:05:43

Does she waft it towards you? I wouldn't allow my hat to be used in such a foul manner, tbh. Hide the hat and buy her a newspaper.

EightiethElement Fri 24-Feb-17 22:07:36

ha ha! Grounds for divorce.

FatOldBag Fri 24-Feb-17 22:11:36

Was she wafting towards you, or away? If away then YABU, she was being very considerate.

ChampagneTastes Fri 24-Feb-17 22:13:06

I'm conflicted.

dontbesillyhenry Fri 24-Feb-17 22:13:41

This is so bizzare but satisfying

steff13 Fri 24-Feb-17 22:13:43

If you had put your hat away instead of leaving it on the arm of the chair, it wouldn't have been there for her to use.

BigApple11 Fri 24-Feb-17 22:14:29

Give her some matches and tell her to light them from now on.

PidgeyfinderGeneral Fri 24-Feb-17 22:15:14

I bet the OP has a beard and a fixie.

MollyRedskirts Fri 24-Feb-17 22:16:17

Definitely being unreasonable. A Fair Isle hat is too floppy, what was she thinking? Something more solid is needed for optimal wafting.

Have you considered replacing your favourite hat with a top hat? Then she can fart into it and sort of funnel it... outwards during wafting.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard Fri 24-Feb-17 22:16:20

YABU for keeping a hat on the arm of a chair.

elQuintoConyo Fri 24-Feb-17 22:38:35

Personally i use DH's sombrero for a Mexican Wave effect grin

RustyPaperclip Fri 24-Feb-17 22:44:32

I like your thinking Molly however there is much to be said for the Mexican wave effect <toddles off to ponder bowler hats or a good old pork pie hat>

wump Fri 24-Feb-17 22:52:10

Ltb

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