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Partner and night out

(14 Posts)
mybumisaplum Fri 24-Feb-17 18:06:10

Preparing to be flamed as am v stressed at the moment, and possibly a bit more highly strung than usual but looking for perspective.
DH is a great chap, all round good egg etc but if he's out for a night he loves to keep the party going. He's out this evening with some workmates for a few drinks at a company-organised event. He also has an event tomorrow afternoon involving children so needs to have his wits about him. Its the first time he's organised this particular childrens activity so all new to him. I mentioned earlier, just in chatting, that he'd need to keep a clear-ish head for tomorrow which he acknowledged and agreed with. A few hours later as I was dropping him off, I mentioned again (in a nice not narky way) that it probably wasn't a good idea to get totally shitfaced, and he got quite arsey with me, arguing that I'd out a downer on his evening before it had even begun. Now he's probably right, but given his inability to find his off switch on some of these occasions, was I was being U in trying to appeal to his sensible side? For background he's be out once a month with mates on average.

Happyandhungry Fri 24-Feb-17 18:09:36

No YANBU you're looking out for him and if you did say it in a nice way rather than a nagging way then I can't see his issue. I expect he intends to get shitfaced and was more annoyed that you'd outed him before he even went out grin leave him to it, nice of you to care but sometimes people need to learn from their mistakes!

mybumisaplum Fri 24-Feb-17 18:11:31

Ha happy never thought about the guilt aspect. He probably was planning to get rat arsed and then realised he couldn't. Will let you know if it worked though!

Bloggybollocks Fri 24-Feb-17 18:17:04

Yabu, you'd already told him once, telling again? You're a nag.
He's a grown man, he can police his own behaviour, he's not a child and you're not his mother.
What if he does get shitfaced? So what? He'll have to do the activity with a hangover then won't he? So more fool him.
I just don't understand this 'mothering' that women do over there husbands, it's a deeply unattractive trait.

WorraLiberty Fri 24-Feb-17 18:20:04


You reminded him once, so what he does after that is his own accord.

beebeecee Fri 24-Feb-17 18:22:30

Yabu. Wot bloggy said

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Fri 24-Feb-17 18:24:40

YABU, you mentioned it once which was fine, twice is overkill & as an adult he doesn't need reminding.
His choice if he gets shitfaced or not, he'll have to deal with it tomorrow not you.

mybumisaplum Fri 24-Feb-17 18:25:10

well that's me told Bloggy it's not something I would usually do, which is why I was looking for validation/correction. Feel bad now, although I expect I'll get over it.

bloodyteenagers Fri 24-Feb-17 18:26:10

You reminded him. He's an adult who seems to be able to organise things. He works where there's probably deadlines to meet. I assume he does. Even if it's a fancy a drink on Friday he manages to do that.
He's organised a children's activity.
So he's a fully functioning adult. He didnt need that first reminder. He sure as hell didn't need another one.

Mrsglitterfairy Fri 24-Feb-17 18:26:18

Yeah I agree, YABU. He's probably gonna get shitfaced anyway because, as you've said, he doesn't know when enough's enough so you telling him isn't going to make any difference. Think about how you would feel if you were on your way out with your mates and he was telling you how much to drink or whatever...

Oblomov17 Fri 24-Feb-17 18:27:51

Once was enough. That's fine. Any more than that is too much.

QuiteLikely5 Fri 24-Feb-17 18:28:00

Yabu there's no need for you to comment but in fairness I would do the same blush

louisejxxx Fri 24-Feb-17 18:29:11

You don't need to feel bad if you thought you were doing the right thing - but because you mentioned it more than once you can pretty much guarantee that he will get absolutely shitfaced now anyway, just because.

As long as there isn't any lasting implications on you if this new activity goes tits up then I'd just have left him to it after the first telling to be honest.

Trills Fri 24-Feb-17 18:33:33

You acted like you didn't trust him.

Do you have good reason not to trust him to live up to his commitments?

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