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Is social media killing my relationship?

(14 Posts)
coffeequeen91 Fri 24-Feb-17 16:30:47

So let me set the scene for you: until a month or so ago, partner and I used to be messaging each other throughout the day, not about anything in particular just chatting. Lately the messages in the day have dried up on his end and I only hear from him if I ask him something specific. At first I put it down to him starting a new job and things picking up at work so he didn't have time to message me, but whenever I go to send him a message in what's app it says he's online and when I open Facebook I see he's commented on every Tom, dick and Harry's posts, but hasn't had 10 seconds to ask me if me and his son are ok?

Every time I drop hints that it bugs me it comes out wrong and I feel like a clingy, insecure teenager.

Am I crazy? I guess it's more that I don't know if he's bored of me always being at home with him since being on maternity leave (I work in hospitality so we used to have conflicting schedules). He used to talk to me as an escape from work, now I feel like he's going to work to escape me.

Please advise and tell me if I should seek help for being a psychopath! confused

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 24-Feb-17 16:41:20

It's a change in the relationship and those are hard. Any renegotiation or change is going to work or not work for the people in the relationship.

However, you do sound very needy and insecure. Why do you need constant contact? Do you have enough going on in your life? Fun, friends, days out, hobbies, you time? Or does everything revolve around him?

Guavaf1sh Fri 24-Feb-17 16:45:12

I imagine it would annoy him to know he's being watched on social media and whatsapp's online and tick policy just creates unnecessary aggravation because of this. He's probably bored of the messages but trying not to be rude. It's natural for relationships to change. I would suggest leaving it be for a while and stop dropping hints.

Amandahugandkisses Fri 24-Feb-17 16:45:20

You will really annoy him with this neediness if it continues. Seriously it's a great way to push someone away.

OneLumpOrSeven Fri 24-Feb-17 16:48:39

Shouldn't he be working instead of chatting to you or posting on fb all day?

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork Fri 24-Feb-17 16:52:27

It's not social media that's the problem.

SaucyJack Fri 24-Feb-17 17:01:18

"Do you have enough going on in your life? Fun, friends, days out, hobbies, you time?"

She's just said she's on maternity leave MrsTP.... Highly unlikely she's getting much me time or excitement home all day with a small baby.

I don't think YABU, but I'm probably similarly clingy (!) Sometimes it's just nice to have someone to muse over the price of nappies in Asda with.

Have you tried talking honestly to him? Tell him you'd like a bit of conversation in the middle of a long day.

ProudBadMum Fri 24-Feb-17 17:05:47

Are you bored on maternity? I ask because I am and sometimes have been like this blush

It makes no sense but I'm home bored with a baby so at least ask me if I'm ok and bring me home food

kittybiscuits Fri 24-Feb-17 17:08:39

You have noticed a sudden change in your OH's behaviour and he hasn't been receptive to your hints about it. It doesn't matter too much what other people think is normal. It's a distinct change. Has anything else changed?

ProudBadMum Fri 24-Feb-17 17:11:48

How long before 'he's having an affair' is mentioned do you think? 😂

It's FB and it's open comments

Aderyn2016 Fri 24-Feb-17 17:17:22

I'd be a bit concerned too. Too many people ignore little changes that then become bigger issues.
Personally I don't think social media helps relationships. There is a danger in focussing on everybody else's lives but your own. Fb makes everyone's life look fabulous and even though you know logically that it isn't all real, it can make you feel dissatisfied with your own.

I would stop texting him in the day but also suggest you both take a fb break and make an effort to go out together or just talk to each other.

coffeequeen91 Fri 24-Feb-17 17:34:26

Okay so mixed opinions here. I would just like to clarify that I do not rely on him or need to be in constant contact with him, it's just one aspect of our relationship that seems to have shifted. Also I never STALK his Facebook, we happen to have 118 mutual friends so it just pops up on my newsfeed.

ProudBadMum Fri 24-Feb-17 17:43:30

coffee it's probably that he uses FB on his break where as we on maternity use it a lot so forget he has set times to look.

If you get what I mean. I'm struggling with words today.

kittybiscuits Fri 24-Feb-17 18:25:59

And the reason he's online on WhatsApp all the time??

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