Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

AIBU?

To think this woman who is a 'carer' should not have left her client.

129 replies

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:35

Me and DH went for a coffee the other day, and saw a woman from our neighbourhood (who is frankly quite annoying; the sort you walk a mile to avoid.) She works for an agency as a 'carer,' though personally I wouldn't leave a dog in her care.

So me and DH waved as we walked to the far end of the coffee shop, and sat down with our lattes for a chat. 2 minutes in, and this woman came toddling along towards us, and just started randomly talking to us 'how are you both? How's work? What are you doing here? Yada yada blah blah.'

All this time, the woman she was 'caring' for (a vulnerable woman with learning difficulties,) was sat on her own, right up the other end of the coffee shop, near to the exit. This woman had her back to the woman she is supposed to be caring for.

Me and DH said 'do you think you better go back to that lady you're caring for?' She said 'she'll be OK,' and carried on whittering. 5 minutes later she went back to her; but only after we said 'we need to go now.' We left sooner than we intended to did because she was ruining our coffee and chat together, and we felt uncomfortable with her leaving the woman she was meant to be 'caring' for. She could have run off or harmed herself or anything!

So did she do wrong? (Leaving the woman on her own.) And would you do anything about it? (eg report her?) She isn't the type you talk to about it, as she would kick off and slag you off to everyone, and if she WAS reported, (by someone else,) she would think it was us.

OP posts:

Report

LIZS · 24/02/2017 08:38

Yabu. You don't know what the client's needs are and maybe she is trying to be more independent.

MamaMagellanic · 24/02/2017 08:39

YANBU. If this was DD I'd be livid. I've met useless Carers like this before, they were dangerous.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/02/2017 08:40

Yabvu and a bit of a busybody, she knows her client better than you, mabey she does not want her carer there with her all the time.

WitchSharkadder · 24/02/2017 08:42

I think your gripe is entirely to do with the woman being an annoyance to you and nothing at all to do with concern for her service user.

I'm not criticising you, I use a local cafe often but avoid it if I see a particular woman is in there because I know she'll witter at me when I just want a quiet coffee and she's a PITA with some quite abhorrent views.

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:47

Sorry aeroflotgirl for being concerned about the needs of a mentally ill woman. Guess that makes me a busybody. Jezus!

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2017 08:48

We left sooner than we intended to did because she was ruining our coffee and chat together, and we felt uncomfortable with her leaving the woman she was meant to be 'caring' for. She could have run off or harmed herself or anything!

Not everyone with learning difficulties will just run off or harm themselves if they're left alone.

It's annoying when a chatty person ruins a nice quiet coffee. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with leaving her client for a couple of minutes.

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:48

I am just asking if the woman I know did wrong, not to be slagged off. FFS

OP posts:

HarleyQuinzel · 24/02/2017 08:49

You don't know what the persons need are though. I'm a carer and some people are actually irritated with your constant presence.

I'm not saying you're wrong, you just don't know.

Boulshired · 24/02/2017 08:49

The only people who know the care package requirements are those involved, everything else is just opinions.

honeylulu · 24/02/2017 08:50

I think you've got a point. Only yesterday I read in the paper about a carer being distracted and her charge, a young autistic man, ended up getting into a pond and drowning.
It may depend on how vulnerable the person is but I'd they have to be out with the carer, it does suggest a certain level of vulnerability.

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:50

Not everyone with learning difficulties will just run off or harm themselves if they're left alone.

It's annoying when a chatty person ruins a nice quiet coffee. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with leaving her client for a couple of minutes.

Well this is all I was asking. As i said, there is no need for people to be so rude to me. I don't know shit about people with mental health issues, and felt as she was being PAID to look after this woman, she should be with her, not gasbagging to someone she spotted from her neighbourhood.

I mean, how often does she do this?!!! She could be leaving the people she is 'caring' for all the time for all we know!

OP posts:

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:52

I think you've got a point. Only yesterday I read in the paper about a carer being distracted and her charge, a young autistic man, ended up getting into a pond and drowning. It may depend on how vulnerable the person is but I'd they have to be out with the carer, it does suggest a certain level of vulnerability.

Thanks Lulu; that's the thing, I would not be happy if this woman was someone I knew who was being left by her supposed 'carer,' and as I said, how often does she sod off and leave her? I think it's worthy of concern actually!

OP posts:

Spikeyball · 24/02/2017 08:53

FYI OP having learning difficulties and being mentally ill aren't the same thing.

Crispbutty · 24/02/2017 08:53

Maybe you shouldn't have waved at her.

KateDaniels2 · 24/02/2017 08:54

I think the issue is that you seem to be assuming all people with learning disabilities need the same care needs. Generalisations are not something thats ok in these situations.

You dont like the woman, fair enough. But you are trying to twist this into another reason to not like her.

You dont really have a clue about her charges needs or risks.

PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2017 08:55

I mean, how often does she do this?!!! She could be leaving the people she is 'caring' for all the time for all we know

I think you're misunderstanding "caring" for "constantly supervising". With some clients you're actively supposed to allow them to sit on their own, order by themselves, go to the toilet alone etc to build confidence and independence.

Bloopbleep · 24/02/2017 08:55

Was she mentally ill or did she have a learning disability? Either way they can live autonomous lives and be left for long periods of time on their own without being given a danger to themselves or other people. You can't judge the degree of someone's disability just by looking at them, particularly with learning disability and mental illness.

Yabu
You just sound pissed off an annoying woman approached for a chat and if that's the case you shouldn't have engaged her with a wave.

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:55

Would have made no difference crispbutty. She would still have come over

OP posts:

HarleyQuinzel · 24/02/2017 08:55

OP learning difficulties and mental health issues aren't the same thing. If you want to report her then do so, I'm just saying she didn't necessarily do anything wrong.

claraschu · 24/02/2017 08:56

You would get more YANBUs if you phrased your OP more diplomatically. Next time, don''t let on that the carer is annoying, and pretend that you are just worried about the quality of care she provides.

As it is, you sound judgemental, using words like "toddling" to describe the carer's gait. This is not the way to win an AIBU.

KateDaniels2 · 24/02/2017 08:57

So she was mentally ill? Or had a learning disability?

Its clear you know very little which is why you making a judgment about safety is ridiculous

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:57

So the upshot is, is it worthy of reporting or not?

So maybe this woman is OK to be left for 5 minutes, and ignored by her carer, but what if the next person isn't OK and wanders off.

If this woman (who the woman I know was 'caring' for) was someone in my family, I would report her, so yes I think I will.

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

littlefrog3 · 24/02/2017 08:58

The rude and sarcastic responses on here have made me decide to report her. She obviously isn't doing her job properly.

Thanks for your help.

OP posts:

LIZS · 24/02/2017 08:59

But you have no way of knowing how she behaves with another client. Sometimes it is enough to accompany the client on outings and to appointments.

KateDaniels2 · 24/02/2017 09:00

You have no dirabif she is doing her job properly. Thats the point.

If she is caring with someobe who is a risk of running off she may not leave them like she did this lady.

The point is that every personbhas different care needs that a carer will adapt to. There is no proof or indication this woman did anything wrong.

You hate her andblooking for an excuse to cause her problems.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.