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AIBU?

to get so wound up yet not say anything to my boss

12 replies

SidekickSally · 23/02/2017 22:11

I have worked my current job for just over a year. There has been a vacancy in my team for someone senior to me for a while and a few months ago that vacancy was filled. It was a vacancy that my manager said I couldn't go for yet as I didn't have the experience.

At first I really liked this guy that took the job - he was easy going and friendly but as time gone on it seems he is out of his depth. Simple things that he should have the experience to do seem to phase him and he never takes ownership or responsibility for anything. He now passes the buck alot and blames others for when things aren't going well for him.

I am usually very supportive but 2 things get on my nerves and have stopped me from going out of my way to help now. The first is that I found out that he has massively exaggerated his experience to get the job. He told me quite openly and it is in conflict with what his CV says. Secondly, he always introduces himself as being senior to me but relies on me heavily and actually doesn't act senior to me when he should. I take the lead role in most meetings and tasks. I don't think he's just taking time to find his feet, I actually feel he's out of his depth because he hasn't got the experience he says he has.

My manager seems to tolerate this and when I've tried to broach the subject she got very defensive and said we can't go back to how we were with 1 vacancy as that was a nightmare.

What do I do? Just suck it up and let him dig his own grave? Mind my own business or say something again? It is making me so angry!

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EZA15 · 23/02/2017 22:15

Is looking for a new role elsewhere not an option?

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SidekickSally · 23/02/2017 22:18

I actually love my job. I am working towards a promotion into another role but it will take 6 months.

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TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 23/02/2017 22:21

Stop helping him at all and let them see what the story is.

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VladmirsPoutine · 23/02/2017 22:24

I'd say let him 'cope' on his own i.e. build enough rope with which to hang himself with.
I'd also mention it to your manager so that when things go tits up you aren't caught up in the shit storm. You want to be seen to have seen this coming from afar and voiced concerns.
I'd also start documenting things religiously, for example, when you had to take the lead on a project or in a meeting so that you can present your manager with concrete things that have happened and how you performed, rather than seeming to come across as a bitter cow (turn of phrase).

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SidekickSally · 23/02/2017 22:38

I did think today I should start to write things down otherwise I will come across as a bitter cow!!

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5foot5 · 23/02/2017 22:40

If you are aware of his failings then other people almost certainly are too.

Keep on doing the job you are doing to the best of your ability and it will stand you in good stead eventually.

Your managers may by now be aware that they made a mistake in appointing this guy. If you continue to be the reliable person who can do her job then it will surely be recognised

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melj1213 · 23/02/2017 22:52

Document everything and stop covering for his ignorance!

It's one thing to give a new supervisor/manager time to settle into their new role and get used to how things are done in your particular office/company by taking the lead on any project that was already in progress/just starting, so that they can see how you work and can get up to speed. Once they have seen how a project/meetings are run in your office they should then be taking the lead, and actively discussing that transition with you to make sure everyone is on the same page.

If he's been there a while now, I would start taking a step back to my own role and not going out of my way to do his job, unless he specifically asks you to do XYZ and then I would document it and after a certain amount of time I would be going to your manager to ask for a meeting to sit and discuss just how much of the new guy's job you were doing. If you're going for a promotion that can even be the springboard "So I already have shown experience in dealing with XYZ which shows I'm suitable for the promotion ... and also when I leave whoever takes my job will also need to be able to support new guy in XYZ/ABC like I have"

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SidekickSally · 23/02/2017 22:53

Other colleagues have commented, apart from my manager. Surely it will all come out in the wash but I will write things down just in case.

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SidekickSally · 23/02/2017 22:59

Thanks for the sounds advice Smile, that is so helpful. I thought a few people might tell me to stop being a bitch and mind my own business!

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tillytown · 23/02/2017 23:00

Stop covering for him in meetings, stop helping him do his tasks, do your own work and leave him to learn how to do his. He needs to know how to do his job, he can't keep expecting you to do everything for him. Good luck with your promotion.

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VladmirsPoutine · 23/02/2017 23:56

Thing is, you need to think about this strategically. If you already had one foot out the door I'd tell you to tell him to get to fuck whenever he leaned on you for anything. But as you're going for a promotion in the same company albeit in a different role, I'd use this to your advantage hence the documenting things religiously. So when your interview comes up for your new role you can display all these various competencies and add to the fact that you did this on off your own back - you weren't coached or developed by your so-called senior manager's 'experience'.

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VladmirsPoutine · 24/02/2017 00:01

Regardless of whatever comes 'out of the wash' don't hang about for it expecting it to be your saving grace. You need to start taking steps to distance yourself from the inevitable shit storm. Don't play the placid and passive employee. I know that you are not as you say you're having to take things over but don't consider that as just a consequence of someone else's incompetence - play it as you're personal proaction to counter someone else's incompetence.

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