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To wonder how single mums do it??

(173 Posts)
Mammylamb Thu 23-Feb-17 19:58:40

Not being goady, honestly. But how can single mums cope on their own?? Especially those who are working outside the house too??? Full of admiration, but genuinely think I would struggle, but quite clearly many women successfully manage it

AddALemon Thu 23-Feb-17 20:00:41

Its a juggling act most days, on top I look calm but im actually peddling like crazy trying to keep up with everything.... Things take a back seat and you flop into bed absolutely exhausted!

StrayHairOnMyScreen Thu 23-Feb-17 20:02:02

Massive, massive kudos and admiration and awe to single mums. Whenever DH is away on business I wonder HTF women do it day in day out.

SuperLoveFuzz Thu 23-Feb-17 20:02:04

Work full time, have help from my mum with childcare and my house is usually a tip!

StrayHairOnMyScreen Thu 23-Feb-17 20:03:22

Sorry if that came across as patronising. If you are a single mum juggling it all I genuinely think you're amazing.

AliceInUnderpants Thu 23-Feb-17 20:04:02

The same way everyone else does. You cope because you have to. There is no choice!

Birdsgottaf1y Thu 23-Feb-17 20:04:45

Because you've got to.

It's a lot lot easier than living with another Adult who you resent because they do nothing except make your life more difficult.

What I will say is that everyone has it different, I had more help o be I was Widowed than I did when married, but the financial part was soul destroying.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Thu 23-Feb-17 20:05:34

Routin, online food shop, set bedtime (or I'd be insane by now) and just being as organised as possible. It was hard at first, but it's easier since my ex left. One less child to look after

Bananamama1213 Thu 23-Feb-17 20:06:12

I completely agree! My husband only works part time as there is nothing around here, and I left my part time job last June because of my health.. I literally have no idea how I would cope without him.

We have two children - 5 and 3.
5 is in reception and 3 is in preschool 3 days a week.
So husband takes 5 to school and I take 3.
We don't drive so this is the only way we can do it.

Husband reads the bedtime story and baths them.

I admire people who can do it alone too.
My Dad passed away when I was 2yr10m and my sister was 5yr8m. My mum was 26. I have no idea how on earth she coped. No way would I have been able to.

lampshady Thu 23-Feb-17 20:06:24

Agree it's because you are to. My standards are probably a lot lower than they used to be too. Rather than the amount I have to do, I find it harder to manage the evening loneliness so keep myself occupied.

MrsPussinBoots Thu 23-Feb-17 20:06:43

Just get on with it and lower your standards. If you don't get the house clean and tidy because you're tired/tidying up sick/doing extra work from home ... so what? At least there's no one to judge smile

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman Thu 23-Feb-17 20:06:53

We do it because there's no alternative. I don't see the problem but that's because I'm used to it (and there always seem to be others in more difficult circumstances). We just get on with it the way anyone gets on with things.

ImNotFatICanSeeMyFeet Thu 23-Feb-17 20:07:09

It's much easier than having an arsehole of an abusive partner to contend with.

A good routine and fairly low standards is what works for me grin

StarOnTheTree Thu 23-Feb-17 20:07:14

Exhaustion rules, lost my sanity and my health.....

I guess if you have support from family or an ex who does his share or anything at all then it's not too bad.

megletthesecond Thu 23-Feb-17 20:07:25


I've just got used to it being a nightmare year after year.

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman Thu 23-Feb-17 20:07:36

Oh yes, definitely far lower standards when it comes to dusting etc blush

TheOnlyColditz Thu 23-Feb-17 20:07:54


At the cost of our own wellbeing and sometimes that of our kids.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Thu 23-Feb-17 20:09:26

To all of you saying that you wouldn't cope... You would! Not really an option not to..

It's tough in the beginning but you get into a new routine and it becomes your new normal.

I think this idea puts a lot of people off leaving abusive partners. Life is SO much easier on my own.

jinglymum Thu 23-Feb-17 20:10:11

I work full time, in child protection with a 6 year old son, it's hard my hours are long!! I manage by being organised, packing everything for the next day before I go to bed, I work a lot from home once my son is asleep. It's a huge juggling act. Clean as I go along so the house never gets to a state where it takes longer than an hour or two, to do a full clean.

CondensedMilkSarnies Thu 23-Feb-17 20:10:14

It's hard but what's the alternative ?
I can manage all the practical stuff and am pretty good at diy now , it's the lack of emotional support that I find difficult and having money worries but no one to share the burden with.

I hate being a single parent .

ButtMuncher Thu 23-Feb-17 20:10:30

Since having my DS in September last year, and barely being able to cope WITH a supportive partner, I literally throw my hats down to all Mum's, but particularly single Mum's. This beautiful, wonderful, rewarding shit is HARD.

IamFriedSpam Thu 23-Feb-17 20:11:34

I was thinking this yesterday, I had a horrible migraine and was just counting down the minutes until DH got home and I could run away into a dark room. Unless they have very supportive family and friends nearby I don't know how they manage it. I could probably just about keep it together until someone gets ill or something goes wrong (car breaks down etc.) then I'd totally crumble.

RueDeDay Thu 23-Feb-17 20:12:44

Another one saying life is much easier single than with an abusive ex. Low standards, a healthy dose of realistic expectations management, and far more screen time for DD than I'd prefer!!

ElectricMelon Thu 23-Feb-17 20:13:39

You just have to get on with it! No other option.

I actually prefer it on my own and find it fairly easy. No one except Dd to think of and no one to answer to smile

Beth2511 Thu 23-Feb-17 20:13:50

I have only been a single mum for 7 weeks after getting out of an incredibly violent relationship. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. Only my mum lives locally and she has spent the last 3 weeks in hospital. I lost all my friends due to ex. This is slowly killing me sad

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