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AIBU?

To wonder how single mums do it??

172 replies

Mammylamb · 23/02/2017 19:58

Not being goady, honestly. But how can single mums cope on their own?? Especially those who are working outside the house too??? Full of admiration, but genuinely think I would struggle, but quite clearly many women successfully manage it

OP posts:
AddALemon · 23/02/2017 20:00

Its a juggling act most days, on top I look calm but im actually peddling like crazy trying to keep up with everything.... Things take a back seat and you flop into bed absolutely exhausted!

StrayHairOnMyScreen · 23/02/2017 20:02

Massive, massive kudos and admiration and awe to single mums. Whenever DH is away on business I wonder HTF women do it day in day out.

SuperLoveFuzz · 23/02/2017 20:02

Work full time, have help from my mum with childcare and my house is usually a tip!

StrayHairOnMyScreen · 23/02/2017 20:03

Sorry if that came across as patronising. If you are a single mum juggling it all I genuinely think you're amazing.

AliceInUnderpants · 23/02/2017 20:04

The same way everyone else does. You cope because you have to. There is no choice!

Birdsgottaf1y · 23/02/2017 20:04

Because you've got to.

It's a lot lot easier than living with another Adult who you resent because they do nothing except make your life more difficult.

What I will say is that everyone has it different, I had more help o be I was Widowed than I did when married, but the financial part was soul destroying.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 23/02/2017 20:05

Routin, online food shop, set bedtime (or I'd be insane by now) and just being as organised as possible. It was hard at first, but it's easier since my ex left. One less child to look after

Bananamama1213 · 23/02/2017 20:06

I completely agree! My husband only works part time as there is nothing around here, and I left my part time job last June because of my health.. I literally have no idea how I would cope without him.

We have two children - 5 and 3.
5 is in reception and 3 is in preschool 3 days a week.
So husband takes 5 to school and I take 3.
We don't drive so this is the only way we can do it.

Husband reads the bedtime story and baths them.

I admire people who can do it alone too.
My Dad passed away when I was 2yr10m and my sister was 5yr8m. My mum was 26. I have no idea how on earth she coped. No way would I have been able to.

lampshady · 23/02/2017 20:06

Agree it's because you are to. My standards are probably a lot lower than they used to be too. Rather than the amount I have to do, I find it harder to manage the evening loneliness so keep myself occupied.

MrsPussinBoots · 23/02/2017 20:06

Just get on with it and lower your standards. If you don't get the house clean and tidy because you're tired/tidying up sick/doing extra work from home ... so what? At least there's no one to judge Smile

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman · 23/02/2017 20:06

We do it because there's no alternative. I don't see the problem but that's because I'm used to it (and there always seem to be others in more difficult circumstances). We just get on with it the way anyone gets on with things.

ImNotFatICanSeeMyFeet · 23/02/2017 20:07

It's much easier than having an arsehole of an abusive partner to contend with.

A good routine and fairly low standards is what works for me Grin

StarOnTheTree · 23/02/2017 20:07

Exhaustion rules, lost my sanity and my health.....

I guess if you have support from family or an ex who does his share or anything at all then it's not too bad.

megletthesecond · 23/02/2017 20:07

Badly.

I've just got used to it being a nightmare year after year.

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman · 23/02/2017 20:07

Oh yes, definitely far lower standards when it comes to dusting etc Blush

TheOnlyColditz · 23/02/2017 20:07

HOnestly?

At the cost of our own wellbeing and sometimes that of our kids.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 23/02/2017 20:09

To all of you saying that you wouldn't cope... You would! Not really an option not to..

It's tough in the beginning but you get into a new routine and it becomes your new normal.

I think this idea puts a lot of people off leaving abusive partners. Life is SO much easier on my own.

jinglymum · 23/02/2017 20:10

I work full time, in child protection with a 6 year old son, it's hard my hours are long!! I manage by being organised, packing everything for the next day before I go to bed, I work a lot from home once my son is asleep. It's a huge juggling act. Clean as I go along so the house never gets to a state where it takes longer than an hour or two, to do a full clean.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 23/02/2017 20:10

It's hard but what's the alternative ?
I can manage all the practical stuff and am pretty good at diy now , it's the lack of emotional support that I find difficult and having money worries but no one to share the burden with.

I hate being a single parent .

ButtMuncher · 23/02/2017 20:10

Since having my DS in September last year, and barely being able to cope WITH a supportive partner, I literally throw my hats down to all Mum's, but particularly single Mum's. This beautiful, wonderful, rewarding shit is HARD.

IamFriedSpam · 23/02/2017 20:11

I was thinking this yesterday, I had a horrible migraine and was just counting down the minutes until DH got home and I could run away into a dark room. Unless they have very supportive family and friends nearby I don't know how they manage it. I could probably just about keep it together until someone gets ill or something goes wrong (car breaks down etc.) then I'd totally crumble.

RueDeDay · 23/02/2017 20:12

Another one saying life is much easier single than with an abusive ex. Low standards, a healthy dose of realistic expectations management, and far more screen time for DD than I'd prefer!!

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ElectricMelon · 23/02/2017 20:13

You just have to get on with it! No other option.

I actually prefer it on my own and find it fairly easy. No one except Dd to think of and no one to answer to Smile

Beth2511 · 23/02/2017 20:13

I have only been a single mum for 7 weeks after getting out of an incredibly violent relationship. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. Only my mum lives locally and she has spent the last 3 weeks in hospital. I lost all my friends due to ex. This is slowly killing me :(

memyselfandaye · 23/02/2017 20:15

It's not hard, I like my job and I have a good kid.

I do what I want when I want and I don't have to share my bed/finances/time/thoughts/schedule or tv remote with anyone.

I don't need a pat on the head, I've only ever been a single parent. I have the life I chose and I would'nt change it.

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