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to take my ds away alone

(16 Posts)
foursthescore Thu 23-Feb-17 11:48:32

I have quite severe anxiety mainly centred around my emetophobia which is a fear of vomiting. In my case its a fear of others vomiting, rather than myself. I do cope if ds is vomiting but I need support, I have never had to cope with him alone.

This year, the plan was for me and my dm to take him to the Isle of Wight for 3 days 2 nights, he's been dying to see the "rainbow sand" and hes just such a good boy and he really deserves this treat.

However, recently my dm was diagnosed with Diverticulitis/IBS after a lot of stomach issues. She now doesnt want to go as she has toileting issues and is paranoid about being caught short.

I have a DP but he has DC of his own and doesnt want to come as it means being away from them for a few days.

Do I dare to take him on my own? As I said he is just the best and a few days of just us sounds so lovely but I am fearful in case he vomits and I won't cope. I so dont want to cancel it because hes looking forward to it and is very excited..


MidnightVelvetthe7th Thu 23-Feb-17 11:49:57

How old is your DS?

foursthescore Thu 23-Feb-17 11:52:15

He is 6.

MidnightVelvetthe7th Thu 23-Feb-17 11:55:53

Ah then he can't really deal with it himself.... what's the worst case scenario, work out a plan for what would happen if he did vomit & go from there? If you have a plan you may feel more in control.

foursthescore Thu 23-Feb-17 11:57:03

I just know that if I managed this it would be such a gigantic step for me.. and when I think of his face when I tell him no rainbow sand this year, it makes me upset,

AliciaMayEmory Thu 23-Feb-17 11:57:56

I think I would take him as he is really looking forward to it. The likely hood of him vomiting on the couple of days you are away is very small. Plus, having been an emetophobe for over 20 years, the one thing I have learned is that she it comes to it, if he did vomit, you really would cope. I promise. When my kids are sick I do gave coping mechanisms that seem to kick in. It is a horrible phobia and you have my sympathies, but I couldn't let it stop me from doing things as big as going on holiday.

AliciaMayEmory Thu 23-Feb-17 11:58:43

When it comes to it, not she ! blush

foursthescore Thu 23-Feb-17 12:01:43

Thank you. Yes this is a horrible phobia sad I sympathise with anyone who struggles. I think I need to take him. Its something I need to do for myself as well as him. I've literally never taken him overnight alone before.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 23-Feb-17 12:01:56

Your DP won't come because he doesn't want to be away from his kids for a couple of days? Really?

Anyway, I would go, I really would. I think you'd regret t if your fears made your DS lose out.

Good luck. I hope you have a smashing time - I'm sure you will

AliciaMayEmory Thu 23-Feb-17 12:08:38

I think that if you took him the sense of achievement would be amazing. I was also very phobic of flying and used to have to take many tranquilizers to get through a 3 hour flight, but the euphoria when we touched down was unbelievable because, against my fears and negative thinking, I had got through it and that feeling would stay with me for days. Think of the memories you are making with your son. The IOW is beautiful. I hope you manage to go and have a wonderful time. smile

BarbarianMum Thu 23-Feb-17 12:15:09

Of course you should take him shock if the worst were to happen (and frankly the odds are tiny) then I bet you'll find the reality is much, much easier to deal with than your generalised anxiety that it might happen.

MrsTwix Thu 23-Feb-17 12:49:52

I think you can do it. Maybe you could contact IAPT in your area for support/CBT before you go?

foursthescore Thu 23-Feb-17 13:09:52

Thank you for the positive comments. I do love the idea of it being just us in our own little world for a couple of days smile

foursthescore Fri 24-Feb-17 09:41:51

Just an update - we're definitely going. ds is chuffed. Thank you for such nice comments you definitely helped me make up my mind to do it flowers

AliciaMayEmory Fri 24-Feb-17 14:13:44

Have a fantastic time, OP! smile

Dahlietta Fri 24-Feb-17 14:37:41

Have a lovely time, OP. I took my DS away for a few days on our own last year. It was great!

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