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I'll call in at dinner time

(24 Posts)
allgoodnamestaken Thu 23-Feb-17 10:23:33

Invited a friend round and she said she'd call in at dinnertime. Does that mean she expects to be fed? Know that I can ask her. Thing is that I don't want to feed her. Or rather, I don't want to be told that I'm feeding her.
Is it rude to say something like 'do you want me to put the oven on for you if you want to pop something in there?'

ITGurl Thu 23-Feb-17 10:32:55

Just say, can it wait until 7, (or whenever) we will be finished eating by then.
Don't offer your oven for her to cook her own. Thats opening up more issues.

User543210 Thu 23-Feb-17 10:43:36

Yeah, just tell her to come after as you'll all be eating - say something like ''Can you come at 6/7, I'll be done with the dishes then so we can sit and have a proper chat.''

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira Thu 23-Feb-17 10:45:07

I'd say dinnertime is a rough time. Not an invite to your table. Unless there is a drip feed coming or she has form.

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 23-Feb-17 10:45:20

Presume this hasn't happened before. In which case can't you offer to feed her or ask if she wants tea with you? She's a friend isn't she?

dylsmimi Thu 23-Feb-17 10:48:45

I would assume she meant she won't be staying long as it is dinner time rather than wanting feeding
Though it may confuse me totally as we have dinner at a different time to the kids and sometimes call lunch 'dinner' as in dinner and tea
So I would have no clue when she was coming and would clarify the time anyway! grin

Coastalcommand Thu 23-Feb-17 10:49:43

What's wrong with feeding her? Would it not be the nice hospitable thing to do?

NancyDonahue Thu 23-Feb-17 10:50:17

Tell her to come after dinner so you can catch up properly and not be in the middle of washing up.

Does she generally ask you to hers for dinner?

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents Thu 23-Feb-17 10:56:29

I don't understand the question. She said she'll call in at dinnertime, if you didn't want that, why not just say no, thats not covenient as its dinner time obviously come at X time instead?

eddiemairswife Thu 23-Feb-17 11:05:14

Depends if she means 12.30 to 1ish, or 6.30 onwards. Not everyone calls the evening meal dinner.

allgoodnamestaken Thu 23-Feb-17 11:09:21

It wasn't going to be an in and out thing. She expects to be fed, which I would have been happy to do but don't think that you should announce that someone feed you. Surely it's manners to ask.
Think that it's more annoying as I've overheard her say things like 'I made allgoonnamestaken give me dinner'. So turning a nice gesture on my part into something she forced me to do.

allgoodnamestaken Thu 23-Feb-17 11:11:33

So yes, sorry, it probably is a drip feed.

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents Thu 23-Feb-17 11:14:07

Then don't do it. This isn't difficult.

seafoodeatit Thu 23-Feb-17 11:15:47

Just say that you'd prefer to catch up after dinner time as that's family time. I don't think she can argue, you can't really force people to feed you.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets Thu 23-Feb-17 11:17:36

OK, so you say 'No problem. Please could you make it after 6 as we'll have finished eating then and you can join us for a coffee.'

QuiteLikely5 Thu 23-Feb-17 11:18:13

I do not think it implies she wants feeding at all!

If she said she was coming at bath time would you assume she wanted a bath?

You are overthinking this. Make her a cuppa and nothing else

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira Thu 23-Feb-17 11:19:06

What about a text: can you grab x, y and z ingredients on your way over?

then say, "I made df contribute to the meal this time," to the same person she told about the last occasion

x2boys Thu 23-Feb-17 11:21:46

i,d assume shes coming around 12 as its breakfast dinner and tea here missses point of thread completely....

LadyPW Thu 23-Feb-17 11:23:19

Just say 'make it x pm as we'll have finished eating then'. And if she then says 'I thought I'd be fed' you can say that what you've planned won't go around. The cheek of her.

Berthatydfil Thu 23-Feb-17 11:25:30

Gosh how rude of her.
Bat it back and say can you come after x o'clock I'll have finished food and cleared up by then so we will have plenty of time to do / discuss whatever over a cuppa.

blueskyinmarch Thu 23-Feb-17 11:27:40

Just text back and say it would be better of she came after dinner time so you will be all cleared up and you can enjoy a nice natter over coffee/tea/wine? If you have DC all the better. Tell her it is easier to get everyone fed and settled for the evening before she comes?

confuugled1 Thu 23-Feb-17 11:38:59

Say that you've already got food sorted for the night and it's not the sort of thing that will stretch but you're happy to do her some cheese on toast or an omlette so she doesn't go hungry while you eat your steaks or other delicious stuff

I do think it's a really cheeky way of inviting herself to dinner, especially at late notice, so definitely think you'd be justified in turning it around on her like the others have said by telling her that it would be more convenient to come later. Have you got any dc that having her pop by at dinner time and then chatting afterwards would cause interruptions to routines/bathtimes/homework/bed time story/etc - so to say that evenings are really not a good time and how about xxx instead?

allgoodnamestaken Thu 23-Feb-17 11:49:04

Thing is that if she arrives she'd probably have dessert/sweets for the kids. So not like she's ungrateful. What's mostly annoying me is the controlling aspect of it.
We are very close friends so I don't know if to her it's like popping in to her Mum's.

Parker231 Thu 23-Feb-17 11:51:19

I don't understand your problem. Just say sorry that's times not convenient. Give her some suggested times which work for you.

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