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(12 Posts)
SocksWithSandals Thu 23-Feb-17 10:06:47

My sister and I have a rocky relationship, she is 10 years older than me yet I have always been her support system, she has been in one bad relationship to the next for as long as I can remember and I have supported her through them all. She is currently with a man she kicked her husband and father of her (then 8year old) son out for. The new man is an abusive alcoholic and my sister has turned alcohol dependant too, the police have been called numerous times, they have split up, got back together I don't know how many times, he is abusive when they split and verbally abuses her and our family via voicemails and texts then she takes him back and pretends nothing happened. In my whole life she has never been there for me, never asks about me or my kids etc. Anyway the AIBU part. She had to take a job a few weeks ago as she has been done for benefit fraud and owes thousands back, she took a job that is about 30 miles away despite her car (that she got off a 'fling' and refused to pay him for!) being on its last legs, we warned her against it as if the car breaks she has no way of getting there for the times she needs to be at work etc. Anyway, the inevitable has happened and her car is broken. She texted me last night to ask if she can use my car till she 'gets sorted'. She has no credit rating and no money to get another one so I don't know how she is going to 'get sorted'. I am a sahm so don't use my car for work but I use it for shopping and taking the kids to soft play and groups etc so I said sorry but no. Anyway she texted my mam afterwards to say she was now 'finished' with me as I won't let her use my car! So AIBU in saying no to her?

Sorry that was so long!

PotteringAlong Thu 23-Feb-17 10:07:49

No, not at all.

GladAllOver Thu 23-Feb-17 10:09:52

Lend your car to an alcoholic?

Ginosaji Thu 23-Feb-17 10:11:21

Given the circumstances no yanbu, if i was in your position then I wouldn't either

Berthatydfil Thu 23-Feb-17 10:13:27

Gosh you are not BU at all.

LoopyLou1981 Thu 23-Feb-17 10:13:57

Nope. I would've done exactly the same thing x

Soubriquet Thu 23-Feb-17 10:14:37

Hah no way are you being unreasonable

justilou Thu 23-Feb-17 10:16:48

Ummm.... let's just think about this for about zero seconds.

Funnyface1 Thu 23-Feb-17 10:19:20

You did the right thing. No question.

SocksWithSandals Thu 23-Feb-17 10:20:47

Ah great thank you for the replies! I was pretty sure I wasn't BU but she took me by surprise when she said she's finished with me over this. She has said to our DM she'll have to give up her job as she can't get there now (which we did tell her this would happen when her car eventually broke down) but I really don't see why me and my kids should be housebound for her.

User543210 Thu 23-Feb-17 11:08:17

Even if she wasn't horrible to you, I still wouldn't lend my car to someone who is alcohol dependant. The likelyhood of her crashing it due to drink is high, this would cost you in fees to fix your own car and also to retrieve it from whatever yard it gets towed to.

Would she be insured for it? I doubt it.

Reow Thu 23-Feb-17 11:41:49

Lending your car to an alcoholic benefit fraudster who uses people's cars and refuses to pay for them?

Fuck that!

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