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To be pissed off at dh

(116 Posts)
hmmmInteresting Wed 22-Feb-17 20:42:08

I never ask dh to do any housework whatsoever, or any cooking. I'm a sahm so I just figured I did all these things as he works and earns all the money. Tonight I asked him if he'd do the washing up while I took kids to bed, he said ok. So I got the kids drinks and said "do you mind doing the washing up then" and I get "yeah just stop going on at me". I just knew he was funny about it.

I've took the kids to bed and read them stories and he's still not done it. Sat there on his phone.angry

Northernparent68 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:45:45

Perhaps he wants to do it in his time, maybe he'll do it before he goes to bed. I do not mind people asking me to do something, but I hate being when I have to do it.

HarryPottersMagicWand Wed 22-Feb-17 20:46:14

I'm a SAHM and I don't do every little thing. I do the majority but actually, I'm not a slave and it's DH house and mess too so he should contribute. I do the cooking every day but DH washes up, sometimes he'll use the dishwasher.

Your DH sounds like a lazy sod and probably thinks you will just go and do it.

Leeds2 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:48:00

Just wait, and let him do it in his own time. Do not under any circumstances do it yourself.

Bluntness100 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:49:37

If he said he'd do it then let him do it in his own time. My husband has this issue. He says everything needs to be on my time line, if he says he will do something then he will do it, but in his time frame. Which is fair. I think uou can only assume it's not done if he goes to bed and leaves it.

hmmmInteresting Wed 22-Feb-17 20:50:05

I'm sat here looking at him on his phone and I really just want to do the washing up or him to get off his arse and do it. It will take 2 mins I could of done it myself but I thought he does nothing, and happily leaves his dirty work jeans in the hallway for me to pick up. Men!

EssieTregowan Wed 22-Feb-17 20:51:10

Two things.

One, he shouldn't be absolved of all household responsibility just because you are a SAHM.

Two, give him a chance to do it in his own time. It's the evening, he's on his phone, he's said he'll do it. I hate hate hate having to do stuff to someone else's schedule.

HOWEVER if he is just procrastinating in the hope you'll cave and do it, kick him in the cock.

foodiefil Wed 22-Feb-17 20:54:33

Not 'men', 'twats'.

Don't do it - go to bed, read, have a bath. Wherever he left his jeans that's where they'd be when he went to find them again if he lived with me the lazy sod. As PPs have said sahms don't be absolutely everything in the house...

bakingaddict Wed 22-Feb-17 20:56:21

No men who have respect for their wives don't leave dirty clothes in a hallway for them to pick up. You need to get this sorted

foxyloxy78 Wed 22-Feb-17 21:01:27

Sounds like a spoilt child.

Wolfiefan Wed 22-Feb-17 21:04:14

Not all men are like that. Don't pick up after him. I'm a SAHM. Washing in washing basket. I do most stuff but he lives here too and they are also his kids. He has a part to play too.

Longdistance Wed 22-Feb-17 21:06:18

Fill the washing up bowl with water and fairy. Grab his phone and give it a wash grin

RitaConnors Wed 22-Feb-17 21:14:07

I don't see why he should have to do it when you say so. He's said he'll do it, so I would believe he'll do it. The time to be pissed off is if he doesn't do it.

I agree that you shouldn't be doing everything in the house. It's an unfair division of labour and it means you are always working. Never finished. Also it's good for your dc to see you working as a team.

RoboticSealpup Wed 22-Feb-17 21:14:11

Are your children at school, so you have child-free time during which to do housework?

hmmmInteresting Wed 22-Feb-17 21:15:26

Leaves all his dirty washing down his side of the bed, I left it to make a point and he has a cheek to go on about how he has no clothes clean!

Off the phone now and off out for a cig?

EweAreHere Wed 22-Feb-17 21:16:14

Who cares if he earns all the money? You work, too, looking after the children and house while he's at work.

When he's not at work, he should be doing his share around the house.

Your job should not be 24/7 if his isn't.

hmmmInteresting Wed 22-Feb-17 21:18:13

No have 2 at home, but always make sure the house is tidy when he gets home. All toys are put away (to be dragged back out again) and tea is done.

Catlady1976 Wed 22-Feb-17 21:18:18

Don't do the washing up op. Leave him to do it.

hmmmInteresting Wed 22-Feb-17 21:23:33

Ok so he managed to wash 3 plates before pissing off upstairs for a bath. Left 2 pans, bottles and cutlery. Such a lazy fucker!

QueenofPentacles Wed 22-Feb-17 21:24:52

I don't see why a man cannot help out even if you are at home. You are entitled to some help, very old fashioned not to get any. Positively prehistoric.

FritzDonovan Wed 22-Feb-17 21:26:29

robotic is this a genuine q, or are you being deliberately goady?
Not all housework fits into 9-5 working day, therefore should be shared. Leaving dirty laundry where it drops so that OP has to pick it up is just plain lazy and disrespectful. hmm

FritzDonovan Wed 22-Feb-17 21:27:58

OP, go drop them in his bath and ask if he thought they needed a soak smile

RoboticSealpup Wed 22-Feb-17 21:30:50

Your job should not be 24/7 if his isn't.

Exactly

I'm a SAHM. When DH had worked his eight hours (with a lunch break during which he gets to eat on peace and commute where he gets to read undisturbed, neither of which I get), he comes home and cooks our dinner while I do the nighttime routine with DD. I do the cleaning and laundry, but I don't do all the housework! Why should I? I do what I can while he's at the office and the rest we share.

PoorYorick Wed 22-Feb-17 21:31:48

I knew he was an entitled, disrespectful prick as soon as you said he drops his dirty clothes on the floor for you to pick up. It's one thing to be a SAHM who's responsible for the laundry. It's quite another to be married to a condescending turd who thinks he can just make a mess all over the place as he wishes and you'll just clean up after him because you're a woman the SAHP. He can't even be bothered to drop his filth in the laundry basket? He'll just cast it wherever he stands and you have to run after him and bend to the floor to collect it?

Sleep in the spare room and put the washing up and his dirty stinking pants in his bed. How fucking dare he. What is it about men people with SAHP partners that they suddenly think the tiniest domestic action is beneath them because they've got jobs?

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 22-Feb-17 21:33:04

"I've got no clean clothes"
"Really? Thats odd because I washed everything thats in the laundry basket" and repeat as necessary.....

Leave the pots exactly where they are and if he asks why they are there then tell him that you assumed he had left them there for a reason as he had said he was doing them.

People only treat you badly if you let them.

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