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AIBU to be so upset and think they shouldn't have led me on

(190 Posts)
Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 19:59:25

I was going through the process of adopting a romanian dog rescue. I have been putting off getting a dog for ages but finally decided after like two years when I saw this little puppy they posted.

I applied and was told I have been successful and they need to do a homecheck, I didn't get my hopes up too much as I have heard of people being unsuccessful from little things.

Just before the homecheck I was on their private secret fb group and commented that I was waiting for a homecheck, a volunteer replied that she was with the puppy that I applied for straight away, she sent me photos and said things like "you will fall in love with her when you see her" "she can't wait to come home to you". "Your puppy can't wait to see you" it was really nice of the lady and not going to lie got my hopes up.

Then the homecheck: the lady chatted away to me and at the end said 'I don't think there will be any problems, I will send off forms but I would prepare for puppy's name' if I were you '
We were still kind of holding our breaths at the this point but getting excited.

That night got a facebook message from homecheck lady who said thats the forms sent off, she said she can't wait to see my photos of the puppy and that she can puppy sit whenever I need.

Then yesterday got a phone call who said they won't let me have a puppy as I have stairs in my flat building and they don't think it would be a good idea for training. I explained that there will always be someone with her and we are dedicated to her training and my flat building is very small ( a terraced house converted into 6 flats on three floors ) there is probably more stairs in my mother's house than my flat building. She said she will discuss it with team and homecheck lady and get back to me as she think it would be a great home for the puppy we would be a great match and her heart is telling her yes.

Another phone call again today, it is definitely a no. She said since our check was overall good we can start the process for another dog but I feel disheartened by the whole thing. I would have never gotten my.hopes like this if it wasn't for everyone else sounding so sure.

AIBU to be so upset?? maybe I shouldn't have been so naive. Has this happened to anyone else ?

AlmostAJillSandwich Wed 22-Feb-17 20:03:35

They didn't know you had stairs and don't think they're appropriate for this specific dog. It is unfortunate but can't be helped, but certain dogs have specific needs and they didn't lead you on with any intention of upsetting and disappointing you.

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:06:32

I had to specify in my application that I did have stairs, the form was very detailed, sorry should have said that xx

DJBaggySmalls Wed 22-Feb-17 20:06:59

Please reconsider taking a dog from abroad. Its a complete waste of resources when there are so many here in the UK needing a home. The adult dogs are often feral and unsuitable for pet homes.

witchofzog Wed 22-Feb-17 20:09:24

I would second DJ Baggy. There are literally thousands of dogs in UK rescues of all breeds and ages. And the adoption process will be so much easier too

pipsqueak25 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:09:53

it was wrong to lead [excuse the pun] you on so much and get your hopes up. i don't think it was very professional of the woman involved tbh,
hope it works out next time for you though.

ihatethecold Wed 22-Feb-17 20:12:17

I adopted a 2 year old rescue from Spain.
It was a very frustrating process and the dog had absolutely no training.
It's been a very long slog to train her.
A puppy would have been much easier.

BurningBridges Wed 22-Feb-17 20:12:25

I had a bad experience with a Romanian rescue organisation, I think they get a Messiah complex. Anyway, they "repossessed" the poor dog after 6 weeks. Kids and DH refused to consider another rescue dog after that appalling experience. Maybe you should rethink too?

OneWithTheForce Wed 22-Feb-17 20:12:43

Why on earth don't they do these home checks at the beginning of the whole process? So much is dependant on the home so why waste anyone's time planning for a match that in the end won't happen!

pipsqueak25 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:13:13

sorry for being dim, but was you hoping to bring the puppy to the uk ? if so how would the puppy volunteer be able to 'puppy sit' if the dog is currently in romania confused unless you already live in romania that is, help me out please, it's been a long day... smile

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:16:05

Pipsqueek you pay around £300 and they vaccinate , neuter and arrange travel.for them to be brought the the UK homecheck etc was all done at my.home in the UK the volunteer who sent me.photos was in Romania x

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:18:24

I hate the cold - really? That's such a shame, I really am reconsidering now

Burningbridges - that's awful! My partner and I did say it seems very cliquey in this particular organisation and wouldn't have been surprised if a volunteer wanted her instead !

Creampastry Wed 22-Feb-17 20:21:48

Whats wrong with Battersea dogs home?

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:28:51

Cream pastry I did look at battersea. They don't have a travel option and we don't drive and are at the north of Scotland. They also have to have a few visits at the shelter before you are "matched" so for a UK adoption we would be looking local shelters and they don't seem to be very easy to apply for, we have looked into this and it has been very difficult so far.

Clnz4fun Wed 22-Feb-17 20:30:43

No experience on adopting dogs from abroad but I can understand why you would want to from what I've seen abroad of the poor Condition of rescued dogs and that's after they have been looked after by the rescues, they care even less for cats.

It's a sin but I agree with pp's that there are dogs just as needy here and with a lot less issue's in adopting them I imagine.

Terrible of them to string you along like that.

Wolfiefan Wed 22-Feb-17 20:33:16

It's difficult but I have a giant breed puppy and she can't do stairs or she will damage her joints. Maybe that's the issue.
FWIW I have met a few Romanian rescues through dog training. Completely anecdotal but all had rather difficult behavioural issues. Definitely not to be around kids.
Definitely try a UK rescue. Breed specific? Speak to vet?

user1477282676 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:33:26

Sorry about this OP. They probably gush like that because they want so badly to home the dogs.

We got turned down by Battersea when we lived in a lovely flat with stairs. We were very sad...but accepted their choice, they're the experts.

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:34:28

I just had a look at our local shelters there is three. SSPCA have been very difficult and pretty much told us they wont rehome a dog to the city centre.
Another shelter has one dog and he is reserved.
The final shelter is closed for winter and often never has any or they are quickly reserved I emailed last year and keep in contact but never have luck
I am at a loss. If anyone knows of UK shelters which have an option to arrange travel for extra costs please let me know x

BlueFolly Wed 22-Feb-17 20:35:15

Adopting dogs from abroad confused WTAF?!!! What a waste of fucking money! Get a dog from a rescue centre here for Christs sake!

sergeantmajor Wed 22-Feb-17 20:35:28

I assume they return your £300? Or is this a scam?

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:35:48

The stairs were an issue for toilet training they said. That's the only reason they said they think we will get bored of taking her up and down the stairs for toilet training. It's ridiculous cos we knew a puppy would be hard work and were very much prepared for things like toilet training etc

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:36:50

I haven't paid the £300 yet this would have been done after homecheck and once it was all definite

Spottytop1 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:37:01

Do you have any local dog rescues? I'd go through them.

This rescue has not been fair but unfortunately nothing you can do - at least you didn't part with any money

gleam Wed 22-Feb-17 20:38:02

That's what I thought sergeant.

Baybay16 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:38:56

Local rescues aren't really an option x I commented above. Will try and look into a UK one that arranges travel

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