My Dad has early-onset dementia (have posted about this on the Elderly Parents boards) and a variety of neurological issues, which mean he lives in a specialist nursing home these days. His symptoms fluctuate quite a lot: on good days you can have a fairly normal conversation with him for a while, even if he's a bit forgetful; on bad days he has no idea who I am, hallucinates and wanders around a lot. His memory is badly affected and he can't often recall events in the recent past.
DD is 6, and last saw Dad before his admission to hospital. She is scared of 'Granddad acting weird', which is understandable, and I haven't taken her to visit him since he became ill, though I try to go both on my own and with DH as often as I can. The other residents of the nursing home can be extremely unpredictable, and while they're well looked after, I think the shouting, swearing and loud noises that occasionally happen would be hard for her to understand, never mind that Granddad would almost certainly be 'acting weird' even on a good day. (Because of his condition he is not allowed out of the nursing home unless accompanied by at least one carer)
Unfortunately, Dad has been saying repeatedly that he wants to see DD, that I never visit (I do) and he misses both of us terribly. Our other relatives are convinced that my taking DD to see Dad would make a massive difference to his wellbeing and that she 'won't have a problem' with it.
I really don't think it's a suitable environment for DD, nor do I think it will make a lot of difference to Dad in the scheme of things. Other family members disagree. AIBU?
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AIBU?
To ignore family wishes and keep DD from visiting my dad?
77 replies
permanentlyexhaustedpigeon · 22/02/2017 19:39
OP posts:
KarmaNoMore ·
22/02/2017 20:04
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KarmaNoMore ·
23/02/2017 05:34
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