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To ask if your 18 yos eat dinner at the table with you??

(76 Posts)
NaxLee Wed 22-Feb-17 15:22:08

Thanks.

mummabubs Wed 22-Feb-17 15:25:15

Don't have children yet (8 weeks pregnant with number 1!) but the rule in my house for me and my sisters was that meal time was family time, we always ate at the table, together, no distractions/TV. And it's definitely how I'll be raising our children! Doesn't matter how old you are, it's never too old for spending time as a family in my humble opinion 😊

MissMillament Wed 22-Feb-17 15:27:22

Yes. Three DC, all teens and we sit down as a family to eat most evenings.

Pagwatch Wed 22-Feb-17 15:30:29

Yes, mostly.

We eat as a family most days but I don't treat it as some kind of commandment. There will be times when my teenager is in late or grabs sonething in front of the tv. It's not a three line whip.

Laiste Wed 22-Feb-17 15:32:05

Yes. (3 of the DDs are 18 to 23) If i'm serving at the table then everyone joins. Enthusiastically actually.

Lots of times when i'm pushing for a dinner in front of the TV i'm outnumbered by those wanting a sit down at the table dinner.

SistersOfPercy Wed 22-Feb-17 15:32:47

For the most part, yes.
DS is 24, DD 19. DD's shifts can mean she's not in, but DS eats with us whenever he can.
Good chance to sit and chat and catch up. All were in last night and we were chatting for a good hour at the table after we'd eaten.

gleam Wed 22-Feb-17 15:33:09

Yes, when they're here.

Pagwatch Wed 22-Feb-17 15:33:53

Mummabubs,

Dinner together as a family isn't always going to work for everyone - no matter how much you want it to.
My DH used to not get home until 8.00pm some evening. Asking teenagers to eat at 8.30 every evening isn't really reasonable. And one of my teenagers swims from 7.30 until 9.30 twice a week. Expecting everyone else to work around that isn't going to happen either.

It's better to at least anticipate the need to be a bit flexible.

Sparklingbrook Wed 22-Feb-17 15:37:56

I have a 15 year old and a 17 year old. It is very rare for us to all be sat at the dining table for meals.

We are hardly ever all able to eat at the same time.

IHaveBrilloHair Wed 22-Feb-17 15:41:20

We've never really eaten together but there's only two of us so plenty of time to chat other than at the table.

MyWhatICallNameChange Wed 22-Feb-17 15:43:53

I don't have an 18 yo yet (next month I will!) but he does eat most meals with us. We have days where his brothers do activities so we eat at different times so he sometimes makes his own dinner if he doesn't want what they're having.

He doesn't go out that much and we cook the same for everyone mostly so he has to sit at the table with the family. I have a no food on the sofas or upstairs rule, so food is at the table.

skippy67 Wed 22-Feb-17 15:44:55

Yes. Mine are 16 and 19 and we always eat together if we're all at home together.

SunnyNights Wed 22-Feb-17 15:44:56

Ours are 18, 7, and 5 and we all eat together most nights. If the teen is working in the evening she has hers later in the living room watching tv.

Evergreen777 Wed 22-Feb-17 15:46:02

Yes normally. Actually yesterday he was late back as he'd gone out with friends so I plated his food up and he stuck it in the microwave when he got in. I still sat down with him while he ate though.

Noone sits down together for breakfast in our house, but dinner we normally eat together, plus lunch at weekends

statetrooperstacey Wed 22-Feb-17 15:47:31

Yes we have a 'dinner time' and it's generally expected that everyone in the house presents themselves for it. We eat together at the table. Very wide selection of ages, some s
Adults teens and smalls.

Crunchyside Wed 22-Feb-17 15:47:39

I am 26 so I'm closer in age to 18 than my kids are. I used to sit and eat with my parents some evenings, but not every day - at 18 you're an adult and tend to be going out to see mates, boyfriends etc in the evening fairly often! In fact I was only living at home for 4 months after my 18th birthday because after that I was off to uni already and by that point they're definitely not going to be sitting at the table with you eating dinner anymore!

As long as you keep good communication so you don't end up making dinners that go to waste, I don't think it matters whether adult children eat with their parents or not.

Unless your question is really "do your 18 year old kids eat at the table or in their room?" in which case that's a totally different question - if everyone is eating at home at the same time then I would expect everyone to sit and eat together. If they come home late and make a pizza for themselves way after you've eaten, that's different again.

Crumbs1 Wed 22-Feb-17 15:51:59

Mainly. Obviously if one had an away match or something that was going to make it too late to serve entire family then we'd save a serving but otherwise all 8'of us sat together. Usually friends as well so generally about 12 for supper until they started leaving home. If they are back home now we still do unless prior arrangements to go out to cinema or something.

FontainaGrimbot Wed 22-Feb-17 15:57:30

I lived at home til I was 24 and always sat at the table to eat. My siblings are 15 and 19 and they still do too.

picklemepopcorn Wed 22-Feb-17 16:00:30

Mainly. If they are out then obviously not. I cook for 6pm every day. Anyone who is in eats then. I plate up for DS1 when he is late from work.
We've just started family breakfast at the weekend, in the hope of getting DCs up for 9am. It's proving hard!

Rugbyplayersarehot Wed 22-Feb-17 16:00:53

Generally no as my youngest is 17 and our and about lots. Dh works away and others older so moved out or working different hours.

Did when they were little but they are far better cooks than me and I think it's lovely to have a lap tray and chat by the fire actually.

Dds boy friends mother insists on her kids, youngest 17 all eating together at a set time every night.

Wierd and controlling I think.

hoddtastic Wed 22-Feb-17 16:00:59

yes of course, if they are in they eat with us, at the table.

We also have breakfast and all meals at the table together. Every day.

charmund Wed 22-Feb-17 16:01:22

I have 2 - one is 17 and one 19 (at Uni - but the same applies to him when he's around) We always eat dinner together at the weekends plus mostly during the week depending on after school/work stuff. That said we all read at the table (yes I know!) but as at least one of us will be reading a newspaper someone always ends up reading bits out and we talk about the latest Trumpism etc - works for us but my DM thinks reading at the table is a mortal sin!

AuntieStella Wed 22-Feb-17 16:10:21

Generally no, because as the DC grew older their after school lives changed quite a lot, they could take themselves to activities and arrange their own social lives.

But we're probably all together once or twice a week.

OhYouBadBadKitten Wed 22-Feb-17 16:11:55

My 17 year old does. It can take a bit of fiddling of time sometimes to find a slot when we are all around, but it's one of my favourite bits of the day. It's nice to talk.

nosyupnorth Wed 22-Feb-17 16:20:27

As a general habit but not something that should be mandatory 100% of the time - it would be quite reasonable for an eighteen year old to have other plans or occasionally just not feel like dinner.
Also I think it depends on how you're organizing your meals - some people like to eat early, some people like to eat late, always eating together works fine if you fall into the same category but if then 18 year-old isn't hungry till 8pm and they have to sit down and have dinner at 5 when they have no appetite, or if they're ready for dinner at 5 but have to be hungry till eight because that's when everybody else is eating, then some compromise is needed.

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