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To put DS into his cot

(33 Posts)
YouJumpIJumpJack Wed 22-Feb-17 14:39:08

My DS is 20 weeks and can now roll onto his front completely (as of last night) and sit up unaided for a few minutes. He's also a big baby and he's completely grown out of his basket.

I've decided it's no longer safe to have him sleep in his basket as the poor thing has no room and he could potentially tip it. But I have a small bedroom and there's no way I could fit a cot or anything bigger than a basket in there.

So the past few nights he's been sleeping in his cot in the nursery (right next to my room). I have a monitor, he goes into a sleeping bag and there's nothing else in his cot except a mesh bumper.

It's not the ideal situation but I've done everything I can to make it safer. But I just had my HV round and she was not keen on it at all (I know they have to stick to the 6m guideline) and told me he needs to go back into his basket.

WWYD? I just can't see another way around it.

Rachie1986 Wed 22-Feb-17 14:40:05

We can't tell you what to do.

My daughter went in her own room about 10weeks...

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Wed 22-Feb-17 14:40:47

can you take and drawers etc out of your room to fit the cot in?

YouJumpIJumpJack Wed 22-Feb-17 14:41:10

I should add that he's happy being in the cot too so there's problem with him being unsettled being in there

YouJumpIJumpJack Wed 22-Feb-17 14:42:07

Nope all the drawers and wardrobes are built in.

fruityb Wed 22-Feb-17 14:42:59

My DS is 26 weeks (just had to work that out) and he can roll happily:l; can't sit up unaided just yet! However he's been in his own room since four months old and is six months this weekend. He's been absolutely fine - we just keep the Monitor close by and flash the video screen on every now and then. He was in a travel cot in our room for the last month he was in there as was far too big for the basket.

I know they say six but we were waking each other up all night. Now he sleeps for a good ten hours and is taking his nap in there as I write this.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Wed 22-Feb-17 14:43:00

If he can roll and sit up then it would be really unsafe to have him in the basket, you're right there.

Can you sleep in with him for a short while? I think it's fine really. his room is next to yours, as long as he's safe in his cot and you can hear him, he's still close by isn't he.

Is there any room for you to sleep in with him if you're worried?

Doje Wed 22-Feb-17 14:43:44

It's a personal decision and you have to do what YOU are happy with. I read the SIDS studies and was happy with both my kids going into a cot in their own room at 20 weeks. Have a look yourself, it's all online, but I think it's around 4 months the risk falls.

It's that, or use a travel cot in your room for the next couple of weeks.

JaxingJump Wed 22-Feb-17 14:43:51

20 weeks is fine. It's up to you. Guidelines are just guides, not laws.

NisekoWhistler Wed 22-Feb-17 14:43:56

So the HV is saying a baby shouldn't go in his/he's cot until 6 months?
Really I never knew this and put my baby in at cot at 13 weeks confused

DearMrDilkington Wed 22-Feb-17 14:44:06

Carry on as you are. It's much more dangerous for him to be in a Moses basket when his that active.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Wed 22-Feb-17 14:44:07

btw - mine couldn't roll, crawl or sit up until 10 months old at least (delayed) but somehow managed to push up on his front arms and get himself out of the cot (on the highest setting). Luckily a low one so wasn't much of a fall!

Doje Wed 22-Feb-17 14:44:29

Ooops, sorry, just read the bit about your room being small...

ToffeeForEveryone Wed 22-Feb-17 14:50:20

Any chance of you sleeping in the room with the cot?

Take everything a HV says with a large pinch of salt ... If your baby could conceivably tip over the basket then the cot is obviously a safer option.

Or buy another basket / crib that fits in your room - but that's expensive for a few weeks use.

YouJumpIJumpJack Wed 22-Feb-17 14:51:02

Thanks everyone, was just having a moment there. I'll keep things as they are, he's happy and I'm happy.

Just confirmed what I was thinking

BeyondThePage Wed 22-Feb-17 14:53:44

crikey things have changed - ours went into their cot in own room (their door open, our door open - cot 7 feet from our bed, closer than in some bedrooms!) - from 3 DAYS not 5 months.

NO-ONE can advise you to go against current guidelines, but you do what you need to depending on the space and resources available. If you don't think what the guidelines say is safe for your personal situation, you need to find a workaround that is.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Wed 22-Feb-17 14:55:04

Niseko it's not the cot that's the issue, it's not sleeping with you.

SIDS is still largely unexplained but babies sleeping where others are is thought to greatly reduce the risk because it "reminds" your baby to breathe.

With DD2 I had an angelcare monitor, but then read with SIDS, by the time the alarm sounds your baby is already gone, there is no time for resuscitation etc sad So she stayed in with us until she was 12 months, in a cot from 3 as she was too big for her basket.

DC3 is 8 weeks old and will be with us until 12 months too.

I think if I were the Op if baby couldn't fit in with me, if sleep in with them but that's just my choice, it's not for everyone.

Hedgeh0g Wed 22-Feb-17 14:56:15

Your HV sounds a bit silly. Did she have any practical suggestions other than putting him in his basket, which clearly isn't safe? I spoke to mine about putting my son in his own room at around 4.5/5 months because he was waking up hourly. She said about the guidelines but that it's all about risk - she said if we had none of the other risk factors and felt it would help me get some sleep and avoid losing the plot to go ahead. If I was a smoker, for example, she would have no doubt have advised differently.

Bubbinsmakesthree Wed 22-Feb-17 15:11:03

In your situation OP I would take the very small risk associated with the baby being in a different room from you a few weeks earlier than the guidelines suggest rather than the much more real risk of a large active baby tipping out of the basket.

The advice is that babies should sleep in the same room for the first 6 months but there's nothing magic that happens on the stroke of midnight of the 26th week - the risks decline as they get older.

Mine was in my room for the first 6 months but was left upstairs alone for the first couple of hours each night from about 4 months as we settled him in his crib sometime before we went to bed ourselves.

YouJumpIJumpJack Wed 22-Feb-17 15:18:13

hedgeh0g I asked if she thought it'd be safer for us to co sleep bit she said that's worse in that he wouldn't be able to get himself out of danger if a pillow covered his face etc. (I didn't mention that he often sleeps in with us anyway).

RocketPockets Wed 22-Feb-17 15:26:49

Co sleeping can be very safe if you follow the guidelines for it. My DS went into his own room in his cot at about 4 months for the same reasons as you. my HV only suggestion was to buy a smaller cot which I couldn't afford! We got a video monitor even though his room is right beside ours and I can hear him roll over

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Wed 22-Feb-17 20:28:40

Just to say about the angelcare monitor mentioned by Whatthefreak. They are invaluable if you have a child with breathing issues. It saved my baby, and my friends as well. In both cases they had stopped breathing, the alarm sounded, and we were able to get to them in time. They both had breathing problems though.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Wed 22-Feb-17 20:43:37

My oldest went into his own room at 6 weeks, we all slept better for it. He too was big and just outgrew the moses basket. I just didn't tell the hv!

fruityb Wed 22-Feb-17 21:04:58

I haven't seen HV since 8 week check! Should I have seen her again??

Somehowsomewhere Wed 22-Feb-17 21:11:17

I never told my HV anything! Although to be fair we had a six week check then nothing until a 12 month check, is that not standard? Do others have more appointments?
Anyway... it's all about risk. The risk of him tipping the Moses basket is higher than the risk of anything happening as a result of him going in his own room a couple of weeks early.
Mine were in our room until 7-8 months ish but only because they still fed every 1-2 hours overnight and there's no way I was traipsing down the hall to sit in a cold nursing chair to feed!

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