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AIBU to think the dumb blonde joke is just not funny?

(26 Posts)
mumto2two Wed 22-Feb-17 10:47:32

I'm a natural blonde..always have been, and my daughters are too.
However, I have a 'friend' who is forever making the dumb blonde comment. Constantly making comments about so and so having a blonde moment. So and so being a ditsy dumb blonde, and regularly chastises her kids etc when she thinks they've said something stupid, with the comment..stop being so blonde. To be honest it's starting to get to me. My daughter sometimes plays with her kids, and has started asking what she means. Why does her mummy think blonde people are stupid? How do you answer such a question? Because her mummy is ignorant and rude? It is really starting to bug me. On a group play date yesterday, with a very diverse bunch of mums, all colours shapes and sizes, the blonde line was strung out a few times. Yet I was the only blonde. I have never been one to take easy offence with banter, having worked in the days of pre pc..I've really heard it all, but I suddenly felt really quite annoyed, and offended! I've got a first class degree and a professional qualification..and I almost felt like having to defend my intellectual reputation as not being dumb! AIBU? Do others get this?
If you have a black haired friend or a dark skinned friend, or a fat one or a skinny one..is it ever right to constantly make pertinent prejudiced remarks like that? Misconceived as humour??..which of course it is not! hmm

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 22-Feb-17 10:49:10

Yanbu. I thought the whole "dumb blonde" thing were now really quite over with, haven't heard anybody make that sort of joke for years now.

CaraAspen Wed 22-Feb-17 10:51:12

It's a stereotype fir a reason, perhaps??

CaraAspen Wed 22-Feb-17 10:51:34

It's a stereotype for a reason, perhaps??

CityMole Wed 22-Feb-17 10:53:06

YANBU. Your friend is a bit thick if she thinks it's appropriate to talk about. the fact she goes on about it suggests to me she might be jealous or insecure about your appearance.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 22-Feb-17 10:53:31

I think going down the "stereotypes exist for a reason" route is really quite unwise.

mumto2two Wed 22-Feb-17 10:56:24

There are a lot of stereotypes that have existed for reasons of ignorance and bigotry..yes!

Aeroflotgirl Wed 22-Feb-17 10:57:09

Very narrow Cara, my friends who have blond hair are actually quite intelligent, university educated, professional jobs.

mumto2two Wed 22-Feb-17 10:57:21

And I have also known many non natural blondes who have certainly not been dumb either..

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 22-Feb-17 10:58:25

Indeed op. Certain types of people like to say they exist because "it's based in truth" though angry

Lulooo Wed 22-Feb-17 10:59:14

I've always thought it too be very rude to make 'dumb blonde' jokes. It's stereotypical and prejudiced and doesn't sit well.
Brown eyed brunette myself.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Wed 22-Feb-17 11:07:15

YANBU. They're right up there with "Essex girls" jokes.

You don't think your friend is deliberately trying to belittle you?

MuseumOfCurry Wed 22-Feb-17 11:11:00

It's not funny and yes, it's rooted in sexism.

If I can try to find some sense in it, I'd say it's because women tend not to be natural blonds (it becomes darker into adulthood) so it's more a commentary on women who spend a lot of time and money on their hair than a random genetic trait.

But it's unwise, as others have pointed out.

booklooker Wed 22-Feb-17 11:11:50

That would irritate me immensely. Who comes out with that sort of crap these days?

It's a stereotype for a reason, perhaps?? wtf?

travellingfailsman Wed 22-Feb-17 11:12:29

CaraAspen It's a stereotype for a reason, perhaps??

Yes! But shouldn't you be in the kitchen cooking your husband's dinner?

justilou Wed 22-Feb-17 11:16:04

Ask her if she would replace the word "blonde" with "black person" or "homosexual" and let her know it's a similar form of offence.

knackeredinyorkshire Wed 22-Feb-17 11:16:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gardenangels Wed 22-Feb-17 11:20:40

I hate it too! I am a natural blonde and hearing those comments make me feel beyond furious.

M0stlyBowlingHedgehog Wed 22-Feb-17 11:29:47

Knackered - you're now my hero grin

I must confess to having made self-deprecating dumb blonde jokes (with the important caveat that these were told to people who know me, and know I have a PhD in a very hard bit of science!) I was very amused at the come-back from one of my lovely male colleagues.

Me: Maybe I'd get a faster turn-around from IT support if I played the dumb blonde card...

Him: Yeah, but the trouble is you're not a natural dumb...

BreconBeBuggered Wed 22-Feb-17 11:53:08

Bloody fucks me off too, OP, and at the risk of sounding like a humourless twat, I never let it go unchallenged. If made by another blonde I tell them blankly to speak for themselves. I even had someone try backtracking with 'Oh, but you're not blonde, Brecon'. My hair colour has never been anything that couldn't be described as very blonde indeed.

I'm also kind of top-heavy, which makes me doubly dim in certain eyes. Whole other thread, perhaps.

Rainydayspending Wed 22-Feb-17 11:57:27

Being a busty red head i get a lot of shitty ignorant "jokes". Telling people to sort their head out also results in the stereotype that i must have a temper. Those people are just nasty. Take time off from her. Insecurity is a red herring. She's just not a nice person.

museumum Wed 22-Feb-17 12:03:27

Is the friend blonde herself?

I'm a natural (dark now) blonde and I don't like blonde jokes and would never use them.
I do let it slide when some blonde women say 'i'm being so blonde' about themselves but i wouldn't let it slide in presence of a child with blonde hair - i'd say to the friend 'i don't want you to give my child a complex, she's not dim, please don't use that stereotype around her'. If a conversation ensued i'd go on to say that i don't really like it around me either but i wouldn't push that first, first i'd push the effect on the little girls as that's really unfair.

ladyvimes Wed 22-Feb-17 12:07:09

YANBU
Had it all my life. Hate it! Yes I am blonde but I am certainly not dumb! Usually jokes come from older misogynists (not that I'm stereotyping)!

mumto2two Wed 22-Feb-17 12:18:22

Exactly my thoughts Justilou. Whether you prejudice somebody on the colour of their hair, their skin or whatever individual traits we may have, it is plainly wrong.
Love your colleague's reply Hedgehog!
And no museumum, she is not a blonde herself, is mixed race and has very black hair. So can't use the self-deprecating excuse!

movingtobelfast Wed 22-Feb-17 13:04:43

knackered I love you! Filed away.

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