I will try not to drip feed so here goes -
My partner and I have been together for many years, I am a SAHM to toddler twins and he works full time but is very hands on and fantastic with the twins when not at work.
My mum and I did not historically have a good relationship, she favoured my sibling and was quite cold. I did not feel close to her. This has impacted on how my partner views her, rightly so and meant that pre children we both happily agreed to see her 4x per year. However, after having the twins I felt differently and I know I have changed my mind.
We live a long long way away from any family and I have no friends who don't work / and or don't have children. So it is just me and the twins, which is fine, I take them out lots etc. However, I have no company or support all day Mon - Fri and it is lonely. I have in the last few weeks made a huge effort to meet a couple of other twins mums as I was beginning to struggle.
When I had the twins I feel my relationship with my mum changed. We are much closer, speak regularly and she adores the twins. I would like to see her more regularly as we have a lovely time when she visits, she is extremely helpful (cleans, tidies etc) and is support and help for me. We do lots of things that the girls and I enjoy and I want the girls to know their Grannie and for her not to be a stranger. She is desperate for a relationship with them and it is clear she adores them.
So, to my Aibu... I am so stressed out and upset that my partner makes such a massive fuss and drama about her visiting (it has been every other month) and I have just arranged a visit for a few days. He is very unhappy about this and says I am disregarding his feelings. Am I being unreasonable to want to see my mum every other month ish so the twins know who she is and because it is support / help / company for me and I enjoy her visits and that we are building a better relationship? Or should I respect that my partner finds her irritating and that we agreed pre babies to seeing her 4x a year? I always arrange visits on week days so it doesn't interfere with his time with the twins, i.e. Weekends and he is out all day. It is really causing me so much upset and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.
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AIBU?
Aibu or is my partner re my mum visiting?
110 replies
Sunshinerainbowslollipops · 21/02/2017 21:45
OP posts:
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