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If theres no support for parents of SN dc, then medication is the only alternative... AIBU?

(14 Posts)
Winniethepooer Tue 21-Feb-17 15:34:14

4 dc.3, 8, 12 & 15.

Dc 8 & 12 are diagnosed with ASD & ADHD.

Boys attend the best specialist ASD schools in London & Essex.

Boys recieve numerous therapies.

Boye both have Personal Budgets though woefully inadequate.

No family support. No close friends. Relationship with dp breaking down yet again.

Went to the GP asked for counselling /anxiety type help. I'm so stressed. I cant sleep, I'm depressed & losing hope of life ever getting bettet.

She tells me to contact a local charity for support.
Charity offers boys playscheme 25 hrs per week at £400 each.

I go back to GP. Request a referal to local mental Health services. She says the waiting list is months. So I request ADs. She refuses as i have been refered to the local services & a charity.

Serously?
This is all the help i can get?

Aibu to say, if the hcps can't offer practical help, they should at least provide medication!!

Collywobbles1984 Tue 21-Feb-17 15:52:23

No practical advice, but just jumped on to let you know you're not alone in this. I could've written this post myself! My DS (10) has Down's with Autistic traits which Doctors across the land refuse to acknowledge. We get no family support, because they saw how hard things are and made their excuses! We get 4 hours a week respite, and have to rely on DD (13) far too much for help with our youngest DD who is 1. Marriage is on it's arse as is mine and eldest DD's mental health. Unfortunately all you can do is keep plugging away. When you hit a brick wall with one medical professional, you have to find another who may or may not listen and be willing to try and help! Out of all the things we have to deal with, getting somebody to listen and understand over respite and mental wellbeing for the family as a whole, is the toughest thing of all!

Ellie56 Tue 21-Feb-17 16:04:52

Change your GP and see if you can find one more supportive. The one you have at the moment sounds as much use as a chocolate tea pot. If all else fails contact your local MP and tell them how shit everything is. See if they can do anything to get you some help or support.
So sorry you are going through this. flowers

Winniethepooer Tue 21-Feb-17 19:11:23

I've contacted my M.P a number of times but he doesn't respond anymore.

I can't get another GP to take us on as 3 of us have long term health conditions. My oldest is medicated for ADHD.

Its just the way it is...

We're not unusual. Millions of others like us.

No one gives a shit. Its the reality of having a child with needs in the UK in 2017.

BastardBloodAndSand Tue 21-Feb-17 19:14:33

Have you got a local branch of M.I.N.D op ?? I found them really helpful, you don't have to be referred either.

EggysMom Tue 21-Feb-17 19:21:09

What support is your local Children's Services team giving you? You appear to have two issues - your own mental well-being, which is your GP's issue; but also inadequate support for your family and children, which is a social care issue and therefore needs to be picked up by Children's Services.

Winniethepooer Tue 21-Feb-17 19:28:31

Both boys have Personal Budgets they are provided by Social Services.

Its works out at about 2.5 weeks of playscheme per annum.

I pay for everything else.

I requested medication for my mental health!

Ellie56 Tue 21-Feb-17 19:56:03

Which part of the country are you in OP?
Sometimes you can refer yourself for mental health therapy.

Winniethepooer Tue 21-Feb-17 20:29:01

Im in S.E. i will look into self referal
Thanks.

FritzDonovan Tue 21-Feb-17 20:47:22

I fully sympathise with your situation OP, it is very difficult, and sounds as if you are a bit at the end of your tether. At the risk of getting flamed, could I suggest you try to reframe the situation in your head a bit and try to concentrate on building up your physical and mental resilience before it gets too much. You have the right to see a different GP re medication, as a pp pointed out.
Your dc sound as if they are getting a lot of assistance (best school /numerous therapies /personal budget) and while it isn't perfect for your needs, in 2017 it's a sad fact that not everyone can get everything funded that would allow them the best possible life. At least they are not being denied life saving medication or similar.
Hopefully someone with more knowledge will be along with ideas (also ways of giving you a break, remember DP needs to step up equally), sorry I can't be more helpful, good luck, you are working so hard for your kids in a difficult situation flowers

Ellie56 Wed 22-Feb-17 00:47:38

Here's the link:

www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Psychological-therapies-(IAPT)/LocationSearch/10008

winniewigs Wed 22-Feb-17 04:25:10

I'm going to the gp today, about my own mental health, and I just can't cope some days. My ds has sn, and sometimes we feel abandoned. He hits a certain birthday, and another support service drops him and says he's not their problem any more. He'll be 6 this year, and is still in pull ups. We were told that we'd be referred to an incontinence clinic last July, and again in September, but it still hasn't happened. It feels like you have to battle for any scrap of support or help, and it's exhausting and draining.

Collywobbles1984 Wed 22-Feb-17 12:42:45

winniewigs we get the same nonsense about the continence nurse, our ds will be 11 in June, still completely reliant on pads. Every annual review at school or annual paeds appointment, another promise of a chase up, and nothing happens!

Collywobbles1984 Wed 22-Feb-17 12:46:01

OP, I definitely echo what others have said. Get your mental health sorted as your top priority and your resilience to everything else will become a lot more solid. You'll find things will start to click into place when you can fight harder for them. I know it's easier said than done, we've just had a really rough year and ds's outside input has slipped as a result because the sad fact is, you constantly have to chase these people to get any sort of long standing help in place.

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