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To think that screen time isn't a new thing?

(9 Posts)
CherryChasingDotMuncher Tue 21-Feb-17 09:26:59

This probably stems from my annoyance at my mum's criticism of my parenting, but I think she's being a hypocrite.

We have a family iPad, if DD (3.5) has been good she's allowed to play it for a bit before dinner, we have installed 'educational' games on like number and letter games, jigsaws, etc so she's getting something out of it (I think!)

I had my DS 5 weeks ago, so TBF the iPad has come out a bit more since DH went back to work to distract her while I breastfed the baby.

My mum lives abroad, I'll be honest, we don't have a great relationship, one reason being she's very judgemental and critical of pretty much everyone and any conversation with her is so draining as all she seems to do is slag people off.

She rarely comes over as she doesn't like the UK, she's never met DS (and hasn't made any plans to) and probably met DD 6 or 7 times. The main contact we have with her is FaceTime once a week or so.

She FaceTimed yesterday when DD was on the iPad, mum asked where she was and i showed her. DD said hello and went back to her games. My mum tutted and said "she is on that iPad far too much".

What annoys me is that she'll criticise anything at all without having any background knowledge. DD is rarely on the iPad when mum Face Times, as she usually 'calls' early afternoon. What annoyed me is my mum never bothers to see her, so has no idea how often she is on the iPad! I'd had a bad day and very little sleep so snapped "how would you know how often she's on, you never see her". This of course upset my mum, and she continued to criticise saying that when we were little we never had screen time, she always got down and played with us and educated us herself even when there was just 15 months between all of us.

Thing is...she's a bloody liar! I distinctly remember watching the Little Mermaid video 3 times in a row sometimes, we had to get a new one as it wore out! Same with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Kids TV still existed in the 80s and we definitely watched it. She denies this of course 🙄 also mum was never naturally maternal, she admits herself she isn't good with kids, she (in her words) is better with dogs! She gets upset because DD doesnt get particularly excited when she FaceTimes or visits, but it's because my mum doesn't know how to speak with her or play, she's also extremely anal about having a clean house, it was always spotless when we were little. so I can't imagine she'd always be giving us 1 to 1 attention as kids and never plonk us in front of the telly when she needed the time to do other stuff.

Is it just me who remembers 'screen time' being a thing as a child, but instead of iPads it was the TV? I always see modern parents being criticised for it but I'm sure many of those criticising will have done it themselves!

TheLivingAsheth Tue 21-Feb-17 09:33:42

I think it was a bit different when I was little as it wasn't constantly available. Three channels and children's TV only on for a few hours. I also think stuff now is much more addictive, it's designed to be.

On the other hand, when I was a bit older (11 upwards) we did watch much more telly, When I got home from school at 4.45 the TV would be on, my sisters watching the broom cupboard (BBC!), it would stay on while we had tea, we'd watch neighbours, then the six o'clock news, then I would go upstairs, then come down again for Eastenders, and probably watch something later too. Saturday mornings was constant TV, Saturday Superstore or whatever, and Sundays were The Waltons and Lost in Space.

I was too young for videos but my sisters used to watch a lot of them.

TheLivingAsheth Tue 21-Feb-17 09:34:43

Not Waltons sheds, despite that ridiculous automatic link

Birdsgottaf1y Tue 21-Feb-17 09:36:29

I didn't have screen time, growing up in the 70's, but our Parents never played with us.

We were allowed to watch Adult TV, which was sexist and racist.

A few lads went fishing/played football with their older male relatives, but us girls generally helped with the housework, rather than played with our Mums.

I had my first DD in 1985 and I can remember thinking how things were changing, because we had to consider Emotional Health/wellbeing and education was starting to become more important.

I think that there's increased pressure today. I'd hate to have a child at school, whilst on a low income.

My DDs in the 90's had a good amount of screen time (I know the script to the Little Mermaid), but I got them into dancing etc when they were a bit older, to balance it out.

It's the old rose tinted glasses at play here.

Tinkerbec Tue 21-Feb-17 09:46:45

Your Mum sounds like mine.

Says she played with us. She didn't at all. She was always cleaning . She used to tape all the TV programmes and put them on for us.
Heman and Shera secret of the sword also wore out as did the care bear movie.

When my mum looks after dd she lets ger on the iPad all if the time.

My Mum just likes to be Devils advocate and has actually argued from the different sides in one conversation. I just let it wash over me now. Almost comical.

I think you are right that we are punished more just because its a screen. Like reading the newspaper is surely as unsociable as someone reading a phone.

But I guess there was no mumsnet or media to make us all feel bad at our parenting techniques.

pillowcase6 Tue 21-Feb-17 09:58:48

Selective memory!

I spent hours lying in bed as a child re-reading books I had read 100 times before. I'm not quite sure why that's more beneficial than building something interesting in Minecraft or playing a Lego Xbox game where you solve problems to pass the levels.

My Mum makes similar comments about screens and it is annoying.

PollyPickets Tue 21-Feb-17 10:04:00

I agree, I grew up in the 90s/2000s and I was generally allowed to watch some cartoons before school (if there was time) and a bit of Disney when I got home from school or a kids tv show, then I had to do homework or exercise. My dad would get pissed off if all I did after school was watch TV.

Parents would allow me to watch the 6pm news, maybe Corrie in the evenings as I got older.

When I was doing a lot of sport (about 10ish), my parents didn't mind me binge watching Disney on a Saturday morning due to the amount of exercise I was doing.

Robstersgirl Tue 21-Feb-17 10:07:08

Spent most of our summer holidays playing sonic,mario or 'Computer programming' on the ZX spectrum. It's not a new thing.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Tue 21-Feb-17 10:52:37

grin at Waltons sheds! Those new automatic links are ridiculous!

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