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To think thank you cards for every baby gift a bit much?

(292 Posts)
likeacrow Tue 21-Feb-17 08:28:46

I might be. Or lazy. But we've had loads of little token gifts already and baby clothes, which is so lovely and generous but do we then do a thank you card for everybody? We've done them for our respective parents who've bought big items for us but do we include every colleague who has, for instance, given a cute jumper reduced in the sale or a pair of booties on offer?
I've never expected a thank you card when I've given little token presents like baby clothes to friends and I'm not just saying that to justify me not doing it! I've just always found a verbal thank you sufficient
Especially from sleep deprived new parents.
One of my best friends however thinks I should do personalised thank you cards for everyone who's given anything. She doesn't have kids. She's made it very clear she wants a card with a photo of the baby (when born) to say thank you for the outfit she bought us plus personalised message.
We've not even had (our first) baby yet btw!
Genuinely interested in opinions and approaches here as personally I think thank you cards for every last token gift is a bit much.

Heirhelp Tue 21-Feb-17 08:30:54

You get lots of gift when baby is born I wa planning on sending thank you cards but after EMCS, spesis and struggling to breast feed I struggled to shower and remember by own child's name. I think it is a time when no thank you cards are perfectly reasonable.

fatmummy87 Tue 21-Feb-17 08:32:34

I was planning to send them but it was just too much, had a terrible delivery and really struggled to try and establish feeding.

I made sure I sent a thank you text / email to everyone that sent something though and when I could I sent a picture of baby wearing the gift.

wobblywonderwoman Tue 21-Feb-17 08:32:36

I did. I kept a notebook in the kitchen and sent a card but the card was printed inside so it wasn't much work. Nice for people to receive after taking the time

DappledThings Tue 21-Feb-17 08:32:42

You'll get very varied opinions but I think there should be a card for everyone. For DS we had ones with photos on printed for his birth presents and Christening ones. For his first birthday, just gone, just bought generic ones.

I think we wrote about 30 for his birth ones, 25 for Christening and 16 for birthday. It is a bit tedious but we were overwhelmed with how generous people were and it seemed rude not to acknowledge everything properly.

Heirhelp Tue 21-Feb-17 08:34:21

To be more precise I could not get up out of bed or chair without help for 3 weeks ( I had pulled out my internal stitches) and I could not stand holding the baby for a long time after that.

PotteringAlong Tue 21-Feb-17 08:34:28

Yes! Of course you should!

londonrach Tue 21-Feb-17 08:34:30

I thanked everyone as seemed polite. Ive always done thank you letters etc. I did run out of personal cards in end so just send pretty cards to last few with photo of dd. It did take me 2 months to do it though as time didnt exist after she was born.

fatmummy87 Tue 21-Feb-17 08:34:42

I actually counted the baby cards we received recently and it was over 70 and christening was 30 odd. I'm sure each one came with a gift.
Secretly with my second I would prefer no gifts and less visitors blush

Applesandpears23 Tue 21-Feb-17 08:34:44

Do it for newborn presents then don't bother again. Doesn't matter if it takes a few months.

Gardencentregroupie Tue 21-Feb-17 08:34:48

It does appear to be the done thing. When I was expecting DD (DC1 obvs) I kept a spreadsheet of everyone who was likely to give us gifts and their addresses, then updated it with the gifts received. I ordered a load of photocards and was able to personalise and address them while DD fed. Can't see it happening with DS, though fortunately second children don't get as many presents smile

gassylady Tue 21-Feb-17 08:36:36

If she's already given the gift you could send the thank you now. Tell her you didn't want to be rude by leaving it too long before sending!

I did try and send thank yous to all (still make kids write them now) however no one has been rude enough to make it clear they expect one

KoalaDownUnder Tue 21-Feb-17 08:36:42

do we include every colleague who has, for instance, given a cute jumper reduced in the sale or a pair of booties on offer?

Great. So your gratitude depends on whether they paid full price. hmm Rude.

You haven't even had the baby yet but you're already planning to be too sleep-deprived to write some cards?

Maybe the people who took the time to buy and wrap gifts for you are also tired & busy.


notinagreatplace Tue 21-Feb-17 08:38:23

I don't think baby clothes are a "token" gift - they seem quite a good size gift to me.

Anyway - what I went for was: cards for people in my parents' generation (e.g. their friends, some aunts/uncles) who I knew would expect it; e-mails/texts for our friends, usually including a photo of the baby in the outfit.

ijustwannadance Tue 21-Feb-17 08:38:47

The sooner the whole thank you card bullshit disappears the better. I will never write one or force child to.

Why can't people just accept a verbal thank you? Or is this bloody century, a text/email with a photo attachment?!

catkind Tue 21-Feb-17 08:41:06

I'm dreadful at thankyou cards in general, but baby ones were relatively easy as we just stuck a baby pic on the front and wrote not much to colleagues, or gushed about baby to close friends. I was desperate to show off baby to everyone and had no shortage of things to say about them so that was fine.
Could you just send one general thankyou card to the office?

You are perfectly entitled to do whatever the hell you like when you have a newborn in my etiquette book anyway.

catkind Tue 21-Feb-17 08:42:30

(Sorry, workplace, not necessarily office! was just thinking what people do at our office...)

BooRadley35 Tue 21-Feb-17 08:44:14

I think its nice to receive a thank you card or note. I have three god children. I gave presents when they were born, for the christening, for birthdays and Christmas. I have never once received a thank you card. Whilst I appreciate having small children is hard work, you do start to feel a but unappreciated when your thoughtful gifts are not acknowledged.

WayfaringStranger Tue 21-Feb-17 08:44:16

I wouldn't expect a written thank you for a new babypresent. I wouldn't really mind if they didn't acknowledge it at all. I appreciate that a newborn is a life changing event.

The only time when I think it is a bit rude is for weddings. Generally, you don't hand them over to the bride and groom, so it's nice to have acknowledgement afterwards. That said, a call or text or verbal is fine. Obviously I don't give for the thanks but "hey, we actually got your present" is good to know.

likeacrow Tue 21-Feb-17 08:47:13

KoalaDownUnder They weren't wrapped. They were in a Tesco bag picked up on a whim doing the shopping
Please calm down. smile

KoalaDownUnder Tue 21-Feb-17 08:48:12

Oh, I'm calm. smile

I just think you're ungrateful.

likeacrow Tue 21-Feb-17 08:49:21

ijustwannadance I like your approach. It's all I've ever expected from the many friends I've bought baby clothes for.

And yes I do consider babygros etc a token gift. It's what I'd usually buy for friends' new babies and they cost a few quid. So a token gift.

likeacrow Tue 21-Feb-17 08:50:38

KoalaDownUnder I thanked them profusely in person but if that's ungrateful in your book fair dos. Crack on.

WateryTart Tue 21-Feb-17 08:52:31

I would. Thank you notes are a forgotten art.

meditrina Tue 21-Feb-17 08:52:33

Well, I did.

I think a very useful skill to teach DC is how to knock out a thank-you letter effortlessly.

And it's even easier and cheaper nowadays, because you can send it by a means you know the receipient likes, so email will cover most. Leaving proper letters (you don't need to spend on special stationery, any will do) only yo those you know like them, those whose preferences are unknown, or anyone you want to please with something nice on the doormat.

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