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Constantly watching a 16 month old...

(27 Posts)
sparklefarts Tue 21-Feb-17 07:23:22

Our 16 month old is an excellent walker, rarely falls anymore etc. The flat has been baby proofed as much as possible and we obviously have no stairs.

The aibu....i think it's OK to let her wander a bit, say I'm in the living room and she walks off into her bedroom, I can hear her chatting away etc then she comes walking back. I leave her to it. My DH follows her and is always always shutting doors so she can't go walking off and he doesn't have to follow her. Our flats not big. Don't get me wrong if she wandered off and I couldn't hear her (ie to one of the further away rooms I'd follow her).
But it's making the mornings so difficult when we're both at work as he keeps shutting her in rooms with us or having one of us follow her so that getting ready takes forever.

Aibu. To think that she should be allowed to walk into different rooms and back? Or am I a bad parenting putting her in danger?

sparklefarts Tue 21-Feb-17 07:24:01

Oh she hates being shut in room, loves her freedom

BendingSpoons Tue 21-Feb-17 07:27:28

My DD is crawling. We allow her to plod about the flat. We keep the bathroom door shut and the kitchen door at times as they are less baby proofed in our flat. We definitely don't follow every time she leaves a room.

LillyBugg Tue 21-Feb-17 07:27:35

I'd let her go. At what point does it become okay for them to leave a room without you otherwise? As long as you are baby proofed, keep an ear out and check regularly then it's fine! I'm quite a relaxed parent though (my 2 year old will play alone while I'm in the bath, although I can hear him all the time and he's in a toddler proofed environment) so will be interesting to see what others say.

BendingSpoons Tue 21-Feb-17 07:29:25

So I think YANBU. If things are baby proofed and you are listening out to respond then you can give her some freedom.

LapinR0se Tue 21-Feb-17 07:30:08

Totally fine so long as there are no hazards in the way. Just keep popping in and out to keep an eye on her

KateDaniels2 Tue 21-Feb-17 07:30:42

It depends on the lay out and how sure you are your home is toddler proof.

CheshireDing Tue 21-Feb-17 07:32:43

Gosh yes perfectly ok. I let our 9 month old wander into the playroom on his own, sometimes the other 2 are there, sometimes not. He is playing and safe so no problem.

sparklefarts Tue 21-Feb-17 07:33:42

Glad it's not just me.
We seem to be stressing her out more by constantly shutting her in rooms.
It's baby proofed as much as poss (locks on cupboards, soft bits on sharp corners of cabinets etc etc) and I appreciate that there will always be something that a toddler will find to hurt themselves on.
Dh just drove me mad this morning we were all in the kitchen, dd walks into hallway, he jumps brings her back in and shuts door, que a crying toddler. I said he needs to relax a bit he said 'you do it your way, ill do it my way' (he was stressed, ya know due to the crying trapped baby, doesn't usually snap like this so I've let it slide) but he's just so convinced she's going to hurt herself.

Imaginosity Tue 21-Feb-17 07:34:39

Once the place is baby proofed I'd let her explore a bit while I was doing other things that needed to be done. It's inevitable she'll have some accidents and bumps. In some ways I think a few bumps teach them to be careful. Obviously you don't want her getting badly hurt but she'll learn quickly enough what hurts and how to avoid it.

sparklefarts Tue 21-Feb-17 07:34:43

Oh and all plus have those baby proof things in them

Euripidesralph Tue 21-Feb-17 07:38:48

I learnt this the hard way with ds1 that a bit of freedom is good for then I honestlyns believe that

With ds1 I was panicky with everything and followed him constantly , pfb syndrome definitely. ....he has definitely struggled more with growing independence

With ds2 I let him Potter about within reason and in safe areas and he without a doubt has more confidence ....obviously none of us are talking about letting them swig off the chandeliers but I think letting them learn with a bit of independdance is a positive

I actually feel a bit guilty that I hovered so much over ds1

Someone once told me that a butterfly can't fly if they don't have to get out of their cocoon on their own and I kind of remembered that

Although fair disclaimer I spent 40 mins turning ds2 'so walking toy last night every time he made a length of the living room 😂😂 but in my defence he couldn't turn it and got very cross 😂😂

CheshireDing Tue 21-Feb-17 07:39:27

Thinking about it I have a shower in the mornings too when my 3 are playing on the other side of the house, their bedrooms are safe and there is a gate at the top of the stairs. They are 5 years, 3 years and the baby.
Otherwise how would I ever get ready smile
Are you sure you need the plug protectors though ? Have you looked at the Fatally Flawed website?
We have lived in old houses and a new build with ours and never covered plugs.
Leave her to explore otherwise she will only kick off anyway! grin

BendingSpoons Tue 21-Feb-17 07:41:53

By the way, we have been advised at work it is actually better NOT to use those plug covers. I don't have a link to hand but apparently it's safer without. Sorry to be awkward confused

QueenEnid Tue 21-Feb-17 07:42:13

Sparke please take the plug covers off your sockets. They are dangerous!
The socket itself is perfectly safe and your lo won't hurt herself.

sparklefarts Tue 21-Feb-17 07:42:51

Thank you all for your replies.
Knowing gum not just being a lazy mum (he's never accused me of that by the way, although I ma curious if that's what he thinks) have given me more courage to have a proper chat with dh later. I feel bad as I know it's because he cares about her and I don't want to make him worry, but it's started to get a bit ott now..

sparklefarts Tue 21-Feb-17 07:43:26

Oh I've never heard that about the plug covers. Off to Google now, thanks ladies!

thenewaveragebear1983 Tue 21-Feb-17 07:45:15

My 16 month old has our lounge/diner (open plan room) the hallway, and usually the kitchen to plod about in. I and he would probably go mad if I followed him everywhere.

I spent a morning teaching him how to do the stairs safely, so now he turns at the top and goes down backwards on his stomach. If we go upstairs he is allowed to potter about by himself also, but only if i am up there too.

He's developed a climbing fetish though, and the last few weeks he has been climbing on chairs and onto his toys so I've been watching him more closely.
As a rule I think they need a bit of space, and I always have let mine wander off a bit at this age.

PotteringAlong Tue 21-Feb-17 07:48:09

You're definitely in the right! But I agree with the others, take the plug protectors out.

sparklefarts Tue 21-Feb-17 07:50:13

Just read about the plug covers, we be removing them tonight! Crikey!

Okite Tue 21-Feb-17 07:51:25

I would say that it depends on the baby and the stage. My DD was ok at that age but by 18 months she was a reckless climber. She used to climb up the dining chairs, get onto the table and run straight across it, she'd have gone off the edge if I hadn't stopped her. There was a period of about 6 months where I had to follow her continuously, it was exhausting. She was my third too, so not pfb at all. She was just reckless!

Lules Tue 21-Feb-17 07:54:34

Personally I don't, but that's partly because we have a lot of stuff which is hard to hide and he's into everything. So this morning he has already: tried to put a charger cable in his mouth, pour a glass of water onto a plug and climbed into the dishwasher and almost got a knife out. (This is while we've been in the same room while I've not been looking at him for a few seconds). He can also climb well and learned how to undo the locks on the cupboard months ago. He's just turned 17 months.

BumblebeeBum Tue 21-Feb-17 08:02:33

I would go for a middle ground. So let her wander but you also wander. So pop into the room she is in while brushing your hair for example. She sees you come and go so reinforcing you are nearby for her, you check all is ok. No one is trapped / crying.

Talking about safety - id make sure all furniture that could topple is secured to wall and all blind cords/ wires/ other strangulation risks are sorted.

bulletjournal Tue 21-Feb-17 08:12:28

Babyproofing should be done based on your own child, you know what they do (or not). Of course, you put medicine and cleaning products well out of reach at all time, you make sure furniture cannot topple over their head. We barely baby proofed our house, they have to learn, and we let them wander. I have noticed that I had to remove a lot of things that were attracting friends, whilst mine never touched them because they were used to them around.

Some are amazing climbers, and can wriggle out of their cot and stair gate. What happens when they get up and you are deeply asleep? I take the view that mine can venture in the house if I am asleep or in the toilets. (It did mean reorganising all the cupboards to be fair, but only once).

RoboticSealpup Tue 21-Feb-17 09:04:38

So it's not possible for a toddler to put their fingers into an electrical socket? But what about poking something else in there, like a pen? Wouldn't that still be possible?

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