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To consider internet dating at a size 16/18

(31 Posts)
user1487622505 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:39:11

I had a baby 8 months ago but have been single for over a year. I'm not desperate for a relationship but I'm ready to start dating again. However, I'm not feeling great about my body. I had an hourglass-shaped size 16 body before ds was born and although I'm nearly back at pre-pregnancy weight I now have a belly complete with stretch marks and 'apron'. Is there any hope for me?! I could wait until I've lost more weight but no guarantee the belly will improve much. Part of me feels like the right person hopefully won't mind and part of me is terrified to try because I'm worried about rejection. Has anyone got any positive dating/love stories as a bigger woman? Or should I start saving for a tummy tuck?

Purplebluebird Mon 20-Feb-17 20:40:07

I'm similar size to you, not happy at all sad

user1487622505 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:42:08

Purple are you single/dating/in a relationship?

HecateAntaia Mon 20-Feb-17 20:42:29

there are as many men who prefer the size you are as prefer slimmer woman or larger women.

sign up. put up a nice but realistic photo to reduce time wasting arseholes and give it a go. consider it a social life.

ArriettyClock1 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:42:32

If dating sites were only for people with perfect bodies, they wouldn't exist.

I don't have any experience myself but think you should go for it and don't let your size put you off, it won't matter to many.

reup Mon 20-Feb-17 20:44:46

I did at size 22. We've been married for 14 years now and I'm a size 16 now.

I was a size 14-16 apple shape (so all on my tummy) with 3 children and the stretch marks to prove it as a single parent and never had trouble dating both online or meeting people.
I'm by no stretch of the imagination an amazing beauty but I'm ok and know how to dress to flatter my shapeless and size. I met dh online dating and he thinks I'm the hottest thing on the planet wink
I bet you look fabulous. We are all much harder on ourselves than anyone else is and see all the flaws.

Mrsfluff Mon 20-Feb-17 20:46:57

I'm a size 20 (very tall though), on a confident day I would describe myself as very curvy. I did Internet dating and had lots of interest. I met up with 3 and have been in a relationship now for 4 months. I am very happy and so is my boyfriend - he's nearly 9 years younger and very slim/fit (he's yummy!!) Please don't let your size hold you back grin

user1487622505 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:46:57

Hecate do you really think that's true? I want to believe, I really do!!

Sugarlightly Mon 20-Feb-17 20:48:10

??? Have you never seen fat people with partners??

How do you think we meet?! Fat people club? hmm

user1487622505 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:48:12

Posted before seeing the last few posts! That's very encouraging! smile

weeblueberry Mon 20-Feb-17 20:50:04

When I met the now father of my children online I was a size 24. I spoke to and met a pretty big variety of people of all different types. Some found me attractive either in spite of or in part because of how I looked.

What I did do though was put honest photos of myself on so that there wouldn't be any 'oh you look much smaller online' comments/feelings.

Good luck if you decide to do it!

Badbadtromance Mon 20-Feb-17 20:50:07

Go for it!!

user1487622505 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:50:20

sugarlightly if there was a local Fat people club I'd probably join tbh

ArchNotImpudent Mon 20-Feb-17 20:51:18

Go for it - there's no reason to put your life on hold while you try to lose more weight. Rejections are unfortunately part of the OLD world no matter what size and shape you are, so this may be something you have to deal with, but as PPs have said, view it as a social life and enjoy meeting people even if the 'right' person doesn't materialise.

TheCatsMother99 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:52:14

Both my brother and sister are larger sized people and they both found love online. My brother has married his Internet dating love and my sister's relationship is going amazingly well.

Go for it!

HecateAntaia Mon 20-Feb-17 20:53:52

i know its true.
i was about a 22 when i met my husband.

i know lots of fat people with partners. i know thin people with partners. dont think your size is a barrier.

user1471545425 Mon 20-Feb-17 20:55:10

Go for it, I could have written your post word for word 11 years ago. Now happily married for 9 years after meeting my dh on Internet.

wifeyhun Mon 20-Feb-17 20:55:46

Your hardly a heffer. Go for it.

Bokky Mon 20-Feb-17 20:57:59

I was a size 18 and met DH via ID. We've been married almost 9 years.

tigermoll Mon 20-Feb-17 21:02:12

Two things:

1) You size is not an issue at all. Trust me, I used to work in the adult industry, and the percentage of men who are attracted to larger and/or older women is heterosexuality's best-kept secret. Have no fear that your body is not desirable.

BUT:

2) Dating is a BEARPIT. If you go in there with shaky self-esteem, you will be vulnerable to all the cads, bounders, twats and arseholes out there. You may get lucky straight out of the gate and find a good one, or you may not. Don't hope that it will make you feel better about yourself -- regardless of size, if you are feeling low you might find it a soul-sapping experience.

So, don't worry about your weight. But get yourself in good working order (psychologically, I mean) with a good support network, reserves of humour, self-esteem and the firm intention to cut your losses if someone messes you around. You need to feel good, beautiful strong and worthy -- all things which I;m sure you already are flowers

user1487622505 Mon 20-Feb-17 21:05:27

tigermoll thank you, I really appreciate that. And don't worry, I don't take any shit! Hence being single at 4 months pregnant - he didn't leave me, I left him grin

tigermoll Mon 20-Feb-17 21:14:56

And don't worry, I don't take any shit!

Excellent! And also remember that you are operating from abundance -- men outnumber women on dating sites by (on average) ten to one (quantity is, of course, no guarantee of quality) so unless you live in a tiny village or have some EXTREMELY specific requirements, you can pick and choose grin

user1487622505 Mon 20-Feb-17 21:21:17

Ten to one?! Well I didn't know that! I'm feeling much better about this now!

Orlandointhewilderness Mon 20-Feb-17 21:23:19

I did at a size 20. Met my now DP who is slim and fit. We have a fantastic relationship and he adores my body. He prefers a curvier woman as do many men!

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