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to be envious of strong women

(57 Posts)
dreamreckless Mon 20-Feb-17 17:15:43

and wish I was one? Would you say you were a strong woman, and have you always been so?

TheThinWhiteDutchess Mon 20-Feb-17 17:18:44

I think I know what you mean! I am a shy woman and I know I can never be like some of the more assertive women I know at work. I am fairly meek and mild and over sensitive!

Mrsfrumble Mon 20-Feb-17 17:21:15

It's not a phrase I like really. It implies that such women are an exception and the rest are just weak and feeble.

Nobody talks about "strong men", do they? (Unless they're discussing Geoff Capes...)

LoupGarou Mon 20-Feb-17 17:22:21

Yes I would say I'm strong, but I definitely wasn't always that way. I had an abusive childhood and left home at sixteen, went nc with my parents then and haven't had contact with them since. I would say that I have always been strong willed and had a rebellious streak though, and I think I built my strength and confidence on the bedrock of those.

VestalVirgin Mon 20-Feb-17 17:27:20

Yeah, no one talks of "strong men". Because many men aren't strong, but for men, being strong is not a prerequisite to being perceived as human in patriarchy.

Women should not have to be assertive in order to not be treated like crap.

MoreThanUs Mon 20-Feb-17 17:28:20

I think people do talk about strong men!

Prompto Mon 20-Feb-17 17:28:43

I wouldn't say I'm a strong woman but there have been times where I have had to be strong for whatever reasons, usually followed by falling apart when the time for being strong has passed. Once I was strong and stayed strong then had a breakdown several weeks later because I couldn't stop being strong. I spent the most miserable weeks of my life off my face on the finest numbing drugs prescriptions could provide. It's not an experience I want to repeat.

I'd rather be flexible than strong.

LuciaInFurs Mon 20-Feb-17 17:30:53

Me too! I crumble at the smallest thing, I can never brush things off and move on. I cry all the time, I spoke to someone a few weeks ago and was so nervous I did and odd sort of squeal. I keep imagining them laughing at me with their friends. It is all I can think about.

I really dislike how weak I am and I'm not sure how to change it.

ElspethFlashman Mon 20-Feb-17 17:32:02

I don't know what "strong" means to you.

I prefer "resilient".

I am a resilient woman. But that doesn't mean you're not bloodied, just unbowed. Life still shits all over you as much as the next person.

Robstersgirl Mon 20-Feb-17 17:32:57

I'm a working single mum of 5 who's had pretty much everything thrown at me you could imagine. Am I strong? Hell yeah! Bring it on Motherf***ers. Find your innner Kick Ass bitch!

bulletjournal Mon 20-Feb-17 17:34:50

What do you call a "strong woman"?

A physically strong one, one with a high flying job, one who deals with dramatic family situation? I genuinely don't know what that means.

Grilledaubergines Mon 20-Feb-17 17:39:46

Yeah you do hear of 'strong men'.

Not really sure what 'being strong' is supposed to entail. I'm equal to anyone, male or female. The only people, if thinking hard about it, that I wouldn't consider as 'strong' are those I know who use being female in a pathetic, princess way.

ElspethFlashman Mon 20-Feb-17 17:41:26

Saw this today, made me laugh.

Thumbcat Mon 20-Feb-17 17:42:26

I would say a strong woman is one who isn't afraid to live independently, who doesn't cling to a useless partner because she's scared of the alternative and can deal with the day to day business of life for herself.

Believeitornot Mon 20-Feb-17 17:42:39

Do you mean strong or confident? I prefer confident myself.

I'm getting more confident as I get older because I realise that actually I am good at some things and I can learn how to improve at others.

RedBugMug Mon 20-Feb-17 17:43:09

I think 'strong' woman is just a front/a mask.
any person has strenghts and weaknesses that show outwardly more or less. you only get a glimpse of most other people's lives so might only see their 'strong' side.

SequinsOnEverything Mon 20-Feb-17 17:44:33

I can back squat 70kg, do I count? grin

NavyandWhite Mon 20-Feb-17 17:46:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

derxa Mon 20-Feb-17 17:46:40

I used to be very physically strong but not now. I am strong in the sense that I've overcome quite a lot e.g. bereavements, cancer and other things I won't even talk about.
It's the little things that get me down.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 20-Feb-17 17:46:46

I like to think I'm capable, assertive and able to cope with things without needing another person to fall back on.

I'm not needy if that's what you mean, is it?

SleepingBooty Mon 20-Feb-17 17:47:32

I'd say I'm fairly strong emotionally, although the downside to this for me is that it takes me a long time to trust someone and share very little of myself but that's OK as I don't need the emotional support.

LindyHemming Mon 20-Feb-17 17:47:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsfrumble Mon 20-Feb-17 17:48:02

I don't think I've ever heard a man proclaim himself to be strong. Except maybe Donald Trump. And he just sounds ridiculous.

Even the "resilient" definition makes me uncomfortable. When I think of the moments of crisis I've coped with, I don't think I'd judge someone who had a breakdown in similar circumstances as "weak" or somehow lesser than me.

SummerSazz Mon 20-Feb-17 17:48:30

I'm probably what you would term a 'strong woman' at work. For me it is definitely learned behaviour as I was pretty shy when I went to uni. What gives me strength is the fact I have to deal with utter fuckwits most of the time and strength is borne of frustration or feeling WTF??? most of the time 😁. Plus since having kids and limited time I don't have time for beating around the bush....

bulletjournal Mon 20-Feb-17 17:49:18

Why all the questions re what strong women mean?
You know what the OP is getting at!

No, I don't. Do you mean confident as opposed to shy, or do you mean "able to cope" as opposed to "completely lost and inefficient".

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