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To worry that hating pregnancy will stop me having more children

(11 Posts)
sprite25 Mon 20-Feb-17 10:19:39

Me and DH have a DD aged 3 and I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant. I always imagined having at least 3 or 4 children but I just hate being pregnant. Don't get me wrong I like the scans and feeling the baby move and that but pregnancy makes me feel so ill. I'm on medication for nausea and sickness which causes drowsiness, I have headaches and just want to do nothing all the time. As well as the nausea, I'm almost constantly hungry and know I'm gonna put on so much weight. When I feel my lowest I wonder what I was thinking doing this to myself again and worry I won't ever want to do it again. Sorry if I'm just being silly just needed to get it off my chest I think.

Starduke Mon 20-Feb-17 10:22:15

It's understandable. My 2 awful pregnancies are definitely a factor when we discuss having a 3rd or not. I literally missed 9 months of DS1's life and I'm not sure I want to do it again.

On the other hand, it's only 9 months out of many many more years, so if you really want 3 or 4 you can put up with it. My problem is I'm not 100% sure I want a 3rd anyway, even if pregnancy was a breeze...

Sorry, not sure if i'm much help!

OuchLegoHurts Mon 20-Feb-17 10:23:52

I was extremely sick with my twin pregnancy too, and I know how awful it is. I suppose only you can make that choice. Wait and see if the happiness of having a baby cancels out the memory of the sickness. For a lot of women it does. Otherwise don't have another...but I wouldn't worry about it now!

Losgunna Mon 20-Feb-17 10:30:23

Not at all unreasonable.
My pregnancy was awful enough for ds to be an only child at 3 years old and to remain one for the foreseeable future.
I've even said I'd be happier to adopt than be pregnant again.

I would like a second child but I don't think I could cope with/ chance having another pregnancy like my first. It still gives me nightmares (labour was fine though, I always thought it would be the other way round)

Mumoftwoyoungkids Mon 20-Feb-17 11:11:27

9 weeks is roughly when the brain is developing so I always found it the worst bit for exhaustion / sickness. (I was 9 weeks on my 30th with Dd so remember it very distinctly!) Hopefully you will feel better soon.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 20-Feb-17 12:48:37're pregnant with your second so it obviously hasn't put you off!

Just because you 'always imagined' having 3 or 4 it doesn't mean it's a requirement. I had a terrible first pregnancy but like you went on to have another.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Mon 20-Feb-17 12:50:06

I had my first baby last year and dh is booked for a vasectomy the end of the month. I would never do pregnancy again

Rattysparklebum Mon 20-Feb-17 13:38:23

I had an awful first pregnancy, suffered sickness almost 24hrs a day for the entire 9 months, I waited 5 years before deciding I was ready to do it again.....second pregnancy the sickness eased off after 5 months to just the mornings but had so many other issues - ovarian cyst, high risk of Downs Syndrome so having to go to London for an amino, then being told my baby was 'starving' at a scan around 7 months and needing hospital monitoring 3 times a week before another scan at 8 months when she had miraculously gained loads of weight and they thought the previous measurements may have been a mistake 😡. Definitely not doing it again!

Bloopbleep Mon 20-Feb-17 13:53:25

I waited 7 years to have number two and pregnancy was just as awful as I remember it. I'm glad I'm too old to do it again.

Teaandcake08 Mon 20-Feb-17 15:33:57

Am with you here op, my dd1 is 3 and pregnancy with her was awful I was sick for the whole thing (but told I couldn't have meds to help!) and then had mobility issues towards the end due to spd, had loads of time off work and had to start mat leave early. Was awful but like you is always wanted 3 or 4 children.... So we did it again and I'm currently sat holding dd2 5 weeks old! Pregnancy with her wasn't as bad, mainly as my gp was wonderful and gave me meds for sickness and I was seen by phsyio early. It was still exhausting looking after a 3 yr old and working tho, and as much as I am loving having another bundle I don't think I can put myself of my family through it again. We have discussed it at length because it's not just me who suffers. Dd1 had to watch me with my head down the loo every day and crying in pain being unable to lift her. Dh had to take over pretty much everything at home and do overtime to make up the money I've lost from time off sick. I was miserable pretty much the whole 9 months and I think we have come to accept that two will probably be our lot and remember we are very lucky to have two healthy children. I say to dh just get a puppy next time I feel broody!! Xx

ToastyFingers Mon 20-Feb-17 16:29:07

Horrible pregnancies have definitely put me off having any more children.

Childbirth and the newborn stage was a breeze compared to relentless soul-destroying sickness.

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