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Parents doing their child's homework

(20 Posts)
Thurlow Mon 20-Feb-17 09:59:20

Maybe I'm just being a curmudgeon.

YR DD's class had a homework competition to make a little garden to put outside. It said in a small flower pot, and things that could live outside.

Now obviously at 4/5 the children still need help making things, but DD did hers herself with just help from us with sticking and gluing etc. It's just twigs and plants and rocks and acorns, that sort of thing. Because it said it needed to be outside.

Turn up at school this morning and there's shoebox sized containers filled with Easter decorations from craft shops and hugely elaborate things that have clearly been mostly made by the parents.

DD looked disappointed as she put her much smaller one on the side next to the others, poor thing.

Is this the way it is now? Do I have to make Tracey Island each time she gets a project? Can I hope she'll get bonus points for something she's obviously done herself?

noblegiraffe Mon 20-Feb-17 10:08:35

Don't get sucked into it, those parents are ridiculous and the teacher will know full well that the kids didn't do them.

brasty Mon 20-Feb-17 10:13:48

Just explain to DD that some of them, the parents are made. And make a joke - silly parents doing their kids homework. The teacher will know. She is not stupid.

MrsDustyBusty Mon 20-Feb-17 10:14:13

When I was teaching, I had that age group. Now they never had homework assignments of that kind, but we did crafts in class from time to time. I always noticed that where we did something really simple where the children were able to do the vast majority of the work they really loved the whatever they'd made. When they got prepared materials and lots of help they were much less into it.

So I think these parents feel like they're doing their kids a favour whereas they're actually robbing them of the satisfaction of doing their own work. Even children that small can tell. They do enjoy activities and they take pride in their achievements. By not doing her work for her, I think you've given her far more help.

MumW Mon 20-Feb-17 10:16:02

I hope she gets bonus points too. If she doesn't then that sucks. If her work is criticised, then I'd be having a word with the teacher as it should be acknowledged that it was thought through and made by her and her alone.

I remember a similar thing when my DD was that age. It was an Easter bonnet competition at school. I cut out 3 Easter egg shapes which DD decorated all by herself. I then stitched the shapes onto a straw hat for her. We were both surprised when she won, having seen the extravagant hats bought/created by other children's parents. Let's hope commonsense prevails in your school too. I made a big thing about the fact her hat was her own work and the others were the work of the parents with little or no input from the child themselves.

LearningHowToFly Mon 20-Feb-17 10:16:11

I'm a primary teacher and unfortunately we do see this a lot and it's not just craft projects. Let your child do her own, she will gain so much more from this than by taking in a masterpiece created by her parents. The teachers do know and when prizes are given out, at least at our school, we do try and choose the ones that have been done by the child.

parrots Mon 20-Feb-17 10:31:33

There was a similar competition at my 6yr old dc's school (private prep). The child of a (well known, household name) celebrity brought in an elaborate creation very clearly made by their parent/nanny/other adult. They won the competition! It was pretty irksome so see the item with its ill-gotten first prize ribbon lined up alongside other creations clearly made by the dcs themselves...

Bantanddec Mon 20-Feb-17 10:37:48

You're child had all the fun and satisfaction of it being her own work, I can't understand the other parents taking that away from their kids, it's essential for their development.

Notcontent Mon 20-Feb-17 10:39:10

I have always hated these sort of projects because most of the time they do actually need input from parents...

knackeredinyorkshire Mon 20-Feb-17 10:44:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DurhamDurham Mon 20-Feb-17 10:49:50

My girls are grown up now but I'll hold my hands up to doing their homework for them on occasion. I did this for a variety of reasons including we had too much on that week for them to be messing about with it, too much other homework, lack of interest from the girls, time and effort required to maintain their interest. All pathetic excuses I know, however it doesn't seem to have had any lasting damage as they both went into uni and didn't want/need help with their degree grin

downwardfacingdog Mon 20-Feb-17 10:54:25

My kids' have won a few easter bonnet comps with their own efforts. School know what's been made by parents. They even say on the instructions that extra points will be given when most of the work has been done by the kids. What really makes me laugh is the parents who share their elaborate masterpieces on Facebook and complain that the 'rubbish ones' always win grin

Trifleorbust Mon 20-Feb-17 11:18:35

You don't HAVE to make Tracy Island, but for parents who have the time and the inclination, what is the problem? They get to spend lots of time making something nice with their DCs, who I imagine learn lots in the process. Likewise, your child will learn lots from doing it by herself. Don't overthink it.

Thurlow Mon 20-Feb-17 12:10:08

It's hard not to think about it a bit when your DC is clearly disappointed. I will explain if she asks.

You should help your kids with their homework, sure, but not do the whole thing!

BaconMaker Mon 20-Feb-17 12:13:02

I agree it'd ridiculous but I guess with YR it's worse because they're obviously going to need a lot of help with any project. I think sometimes it's worse when the school turns it into a competition - if they all just brought in their projects those that have actually worked hard and produced something themselves (albeit with some help from parents getting material etc) can just feel proud of themselves without having to compare to those that have had a lot more help.

minipie Mon 20-Feb-17 12:26:23

I really wish teachers wouldn't set this kind of project as homework. Let alone as a competition. Massively unfair.

LucklessMonster Mon 20-Feb-17 12:27:25

YANBU but don't fall into the trap of doing it yourself. Concentrate on explaining to your daughter why her little garden is more of an achievement smile

user1483387154 Mon 20-Feb-17 12:29:10

As a Teacher myself, I can say that we prefer it when the children do their own homework (with a bit of support when needed) rather than the parents and do make a huge fuss of those who have put time and effort into their projects! You can tell her that she has made her Teacher very happy with her lovely project as it shows how clever and creative she is.

Allthebestnamesareused Mon 20-Feb-17 13:28:36

There was a parent at my son's primary school who clearly did her kids projects.

At an open day where you looked at the projects etc her youngest said to her husband What is a project Daddy? and I did laugh when Dad answered "it's where Mummy gets to see if she can get an A!"

Thurlow Mon 20-Feb-17 19:33:28

The money and the time involved seems unfair, I suppose. Maybe the time thing not so much but plenty of parents seem to have thrown money at the project, which isn't fair when other parents can't afford to do that.

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