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To assume that it's near on impossible for me to go back to work?!

(23 Posts)
ricecrispies16 Mon 20-Feb-17 08:40:19

My partner has a varied work pattern - one week he could be doing 3 days, the next could be 5 days. Shifts range between 6am and 10pm. I really want to get back into work but how can I make this work when his working hours are so varied?

If I could get set hours then it might be possible because I could look at nurseries and family helping out but most places now require you to be flexible and full flexibility is something I am unable to offer because of the above.

I'm not sure what to do or how to make it work...

Has anyone found themselves in my situation and found a solution?

tabithakitty Mon 20-Feb-17 08:41:36

In my experience nurseries don't require flexibility. What age are your kids?

StealthPolarBear Mon 20-Feb-17 08:43:54

I thibk she meant the jobs

StealthPolarBear Mon 20-Feb-17 08:44:19

What are your skills op and what sort of salary would you be looking for?

Seeline Mon 20-Feb-17 08:44:40

What sort of work would you be looking for?
Any qualifications?
I think a lot of places still have regular hours - it just depends whether you are able to do that sort ofwork.

HuckleberryGin Mon 20-Feb-17 08:45:53

My sister works shifts and has a nursery that accommodates shift workers. They have a minimum agreement per week or month. She has to let them know in advance- she is NHS so knows each month what her shifts will be.

expatinscotland Mon 20-Feb-17 08:47:17

Unless you are independently wealthy, it's a very bad idea to jack in FT work to look after children when you are unmarried.

ricecrispies16 Mon 20-Feb-17 08:49:03

I have been looking at NHS and have a couple of interviews in the next few weeks but it's hard not to feel pessimistic when I'm not even sure I could make it work. The shifts I'd be working would be 3 long days a week, presuming my partner is at work and I didn't finish until 8/9 pm I'd need someone to be willing to pick up both of my children and look after them or bring them home and put them to bed.

Unless my partner can ask not to work specific days and then I ask for those days. It's not likely to be accepted though is it given that most places need flexibility

Gbean Mon 20-Feb-17 08:49:14

There are loads of jobs with set hours. I have a demanding job and a dh who works shifts. I sort my childcare around my hours and although I have the option to work from home, I rarely do.

ricecrispies16 Mon 20-Feb-17 08:50:06

Expat - can you elaborate? I've heard this a few times but I don't really understand why.

HandsomeDevil Mon 20-Feb-17 08:51:15

NHS bank shifts on his days off? Income less regular, but no childcare fees, and better than nowt?

Gbean Mon 20-Feb-17 08:51:53

(Just a quick hijack to say hello to expat! Ex-MamaG here, we were preg with our boys together, you might remember?)

ricecrispies16 Mon 20-Feb-17 08:52:51

Handsome - I have considered bank shifts but can't help but feel limited and a bit miffed that that's my only option.

expatinscotland Mon 20-Feb-17 08:55:21

rice, there are dozens of threads in the relationships boards that spell out how incredibly vulnerable you make yourself financially when you jack in work to look after kids and are not married. It's a very bad move.

Hiya, Gbean smile.

TiredMumToTwo Mon 20-Feb-17 08:57:50

Are you specifically qualified to do something in the NHS? If not then I'd look for other jobs with more regular hours. I work full time and do both school drop offs and pick ups - the kids are in a mixture of breakfast club and after school club - childminder would offer the same?

PaintingOwls Mon 20-Feb-17 08:57:56


Expat - can you elaborate? I've heard this a few times but I don't really understand why.

Because you won't have your own money, you will be dependent on DP for cash, you will lose out on pension and NI contributions and will not have the means to leave should relationship go tits up. The Relationship board is full of women who gave up work and are now in unhappy relationships unable to leave because they have no money, they cannot afford the rent/mortgage, etc.

Marriage at least awards you certain rights to maintenance.

NerrSnerr Mon 20-Feb-17 09:00:51

What kind of NHS work are you looking at doing? I work for the NHS and purposely work in the community part time as my job is office hours and does not require flexibility. My husband works away a lot so me working in my job means we can have set nursery hours. He could have stopped working away but the financial benefits from his work were more than my unsocial hours.

mouldycheesefan Mon 20-Feb-17 09:06:39

There are loads of jobs with fixed hours just perhaps not in the NHS you may need to be open to working a different role. Yes get married you have no financial protections.

anyname123 Mon 20-Feb-17 09:09:23

Do some bank shifts. You'll get to nosey about the different areas, get yourself known, then when time comes you want regula hours you'll be best placed to hear about jobs and get interview support.

ElspethFlashman Mon 20-Feb-17 09:16:23

If you're a nurse/HCA then it's Bank, Bank or.....Bank if you need to dictate your days.

That's what I do. Needs must.

Either that or something like a day unit like endoscopy or similar which is more daytime hours but you may have to do more days.

Look into private hospitals too. They have Banks.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood Mon 20-Feb-17 09:24:41

Hi OP, if you are willing to say what type of NHS work it is we may be able to give more detailed advice (totally understand if you don't - I never say exactly what I do on here!). In general though, I agree with the others - for true flexibility you need bank work.

That said, some NHS jobs do set days. However, that in itself is not always enough. I do set days and still struggle sometimes with timings for drop offs and pick ups and have seriously thought many times about bank / supply type work instead (I already do a bit now). I think I will end up doing something like that in the future.

ohtheholidays Mon 20-Feb-17 09:29:56

Would you be able to do night shifts OP part time and then catch up on sleep whilst your DC is at Nursery/school?

Coldilox Mon 20-Feb-17 09:37:24

I work shifts, they range from 7am to 11pm, different days each week, including weekends. DW is a nurse. She dropped down to four days, over two long days and a regular day. She is not in a hospital, she's in a clinic setting. She put in a flwxi working request to work the same days each week, I put one in to change my lates to earlier on the days she works long days (affects 2 shifts every 4 weeks). Nursery is flexible, allow us to do different days each week according to my shifts.

So it is doable, with planning and employers that are willing to assist.

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