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AIBU?

To wonder why my 14 year old is unable to....

82 replies

tovelitime · 20/02/2017 07:49

Put any of his dirty clothes in the washing basket in his bedroom but can only put his dirty pants and socks next to the said basket. It drives me utterly insane and when I mention it to him he looks at me like I'm utterly insane.

OP posts:
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TheSparrowhawk · 20/02/2017 07:50

A 14 year old should be doing his own washing.

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Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 20/02/2017 07:52

Stop doing his washing. . Advise him only clothes that make it the basket will be getting washed from now on.
If you don't then you are making a rod for his dp in the future!!

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BigGreenOlives · 20/02/2017 07:52

Let him run out of clothes.

If each family member does their own laundry it's a terrible waste - full loads are more efficient. No reason why a 14 year old shouldn't know how to use the machine however.

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frenchfancy · 20/02/2017 07:52

Yep. Time he did his own laundry. My teens get a gentle reminder once a week then I leave them to it.

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AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 20/02/2017 07:53

He can, but as long as he's got mum putting up with it doing it for an easy life why would he?

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tovelitime · 20/02/2017 07:55

I wouldn't gave him doing his own washjng, far too anal for that but putting his clothes in the wash might be nice! It was meant to be light hearted!

OP posts:
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frenchfancy · 20/02/2017 07:55

I don't get why people think it is a waste. We all do our own. That is 5 loads a week for a family of 5. Hardly wasteful. I do towels and bedding apart but the machine is rarely used half full.

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Trifleorbust · 20/02/2017 07:56

I wouldn't have mine doing his own laundry because it leads to arguments over the machine: "But I need to wash/dry X..."

I would have a rule whereby if it wasn't in the basket (downstairs) it didn't get washed. I would teach him how to put a wash on so he couldn't come to me with 'urgent' washing needs - if it's urgent, you do it!

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Timeforteaplease · 20/02/2017 08:00

It's because he throws them at the basket (and misses) rather than walking over and putting them in. Much more fun. Grin Grin

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CaptainBraandPants · 20/02/2017 08:01

My 15 yo is similar toveltine. We get to the stage every week where he's not allowed on his computer until he puts the big pile of clothes into the basket.
As for making him do his own, or just not doing it, yep, tried that. Result? He wears dirty, crumpled clothes. I guess if I left it long enough, he would eventually wash them but I break far, far before he does.

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chaplin1409 · 20/02/2017 08:03

My 14 year old is the same lol next to the basket never in. I don't know know why I would make him do his own washing because of it that's a bit over the top in my opinion.

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budgiegirl · 20/02/2017 08:14

My two teens and a tween were awful at putting their clothes in the basket, until I stopped nagging them to do it. Once they found that their clothes weren't washed when they needed them, as they were still lying on their floor in a crumpled heap, they got much better at putting them in the basket (better, but not perfect!). Not nagging was really hard!

All three know how to put on a wash, and will do if asked, and sometimes will just do it if they see the basket is getting full, or if they want a particular item quickly.

I don't get why people think it is a waste. We all do our own. That is 5 loads a week for a family of 5. I disagree with getting each person to wash their own, that just wouldn't work for our family of 5 as there would be too many half full washes. If we each had to wait a week for a full load, then things like pe kits, football kits, school uniforms etc wouldn't be washed in time for the next time they were needed. Or I'd have to buy three lots of each sports kit, 5 full school uniforms per child etc. And we only do about 2 white washes a week between us, so there would definitely be half loads (or less!) of whites - not very energy efficient at all.

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ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 20/02/2017 08:17

You were always going to get holier than thou responses to this basically accusing you of being a bad mother.

I have the same issue with my 15 yo DS1 who has his own wash basket (at least then I see it less often in the hallway). And my husband.

Your DS is in training to be a man.

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Notso · 20/02/2017 08:19

The only washing what's in the basket worked for DD but DS1 would just wear dirty clothes and no pants. He is oblivious to stains etc.
He does know how to use the washing machine and if I say bring all your lights/darks whatever down and put the machine on then he will. He just wouldn't think to do it himself.

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ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 20/02/2017 08:20

Dies yours also throw things at the washbasket regardless of whtehr they are actually dirty or not?? That also drives me mead.

And to the PPs who said 'don't wash the clothes' : yes, excellent idea in practice - but my DS wouldn't notice. He would just get some new clothes out of his drawer and wear those.

When those stocks are exhausted he would 'recycle' what he could find on the floor!

Hey ho. First world problems.

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ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 20/02/2017 08:22

Oh and - lol - wait til he is 15/16. The new theory is that ' he is too busy revising' to do menial tasks!

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HesAnUmptyFlump · 20/02/2017 08:23

I know you meant it to be lighthearted, but my son was 14 when I got sick of the same thing. I gave him one week to change it around or he did his own washing from then on.

He didn't turn it round.

He had a week of going to school in slightly less than clean and unironed clothes and then started doing his own washing. He's just turned 18 and he does all his own washing.

Your DS is in training to be a man.

^^ what?!!

My son is in training to be a man, which is why he cooks dinner at least one night a week, does his own laundry (including changing the bed linen weekly) and does other chores around the house. That's the kind of man I want him to be and the kind of man I want to live with (whether as a partner or as my son whilst living at home).

It's not about being "holier than thou" it's about realising that the purpose of parenting is bringing your children up to be fully functioning members of society.

OP, get him to do it himself.

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ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 20/02/2017 08:23

I got that it was light hearted by the way. -grin-

I also am too anal/terrified to let my DCs /DH loose on the washing machine.

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ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 20/02/2017 08:24

Meant to be Grin !

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WateryTart · 20/02/2017 08:24

I used to fine the DSs 50p for every item of dirty clothing on the floor instead of the linen baskets.

Cured it within weeks.

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ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 20/02/2017 08:24

Umpty - it was a joke!!!! Irony !!! LOL etc

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HesAnUmptyFlump · 20/02/2017 08:26

Well except that it's not very funny and it is happening in your house. Unless it was also untrue.

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HesAnUmptyFlump · 20/02/2017 08:27

What I mean is, that whilst there are men/boys who are allowed to behave like this, there will be women complaining that their husbands/sons are behaving like this.

Just don't let it happen.

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ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 20/02/2017 08:29

Perhaps you can come round to mine then ....

My DS1 has many redeeming qualities.

I aim to train him this summer ; DS2 is already in training. It is too late for my DH.

I understand your point but you don't seem to be able to read tone.

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JustSpeakSense · 20/02/2017 08:29

By leaving them on the floor, he is keeping his options open....

maybe it'll be worn again, maybe it'll make it into the washing basket? Who knows?

He's leaving that decision to another day, because at 14yo they simply can't be arsed with making important life decisions Grin

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