Hiya. I'll try not to miss anything out as don't want to be considered drip feeding.
DD is now 22 and at uni. She did okay in her AS levels and messed up her A levels. Tried to retake but still failed so had no qualifications after 3 years and this was due to her beginning to struggle with an eating disorder imo.
She then did an access course as she was old enough and did want to waste another 2 years (this could be done in 1). Her eating disorder was diagnosed at this point. She completed the course (was 20) and then went down hill. Was admitted at a residential unit for her ED. was there for around a year due to things not going well but she is not doing good and is at uni. Will graduate at 24.
I said to both my children that at 21 you will need to start paying rent. This had the idea that you could finish uni and when you move back home, you start paying (if they decide to love back home). DD1 knew this and actually didn't move back home for a year but no had and pays a percentage of her income (she now has a full time job) she pays £225 a month which is 20% of what she gets a month but this does include all washing done, all food, all wash products, etc. paid for and she is more than happy with this. DD is obviously just started uni (at 21) so she started to pay then. She has a part time job and is going to a local uni so has no accommodation/food to pay for. I ask for £80 a month, she gets £400 from her part time job. Again, it's 20%.
She says it's not fair because the whole idea was that we would finish uni and I do appreciate that but that's also because I kind of expected them to live in accommodation so would pay when they returned if that makes sense?, although I am obviously very happy she is at home due to her mental health. Her nan gave DD1 £200 a month for uni (she was at a London uni and everything was so expensive) and DD2 doesn't get that from her nan due to her being at a local uni and I know that upsets her a bit.
However, please tell me I'm not being unreasonable? I'm really trying to be fair
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AIBU?
Please tell me I am not BU for making DD pay rent? :(
136 replies
nailsolah · 20/02/2017 00:47
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