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Did anyone have misgivings about the way they looked on their wedding day?

(54 Posts)
NoBiggie Sun 19-Feb-17 20:47:32

Or did you all feel super confident?

I am getting married soon (2 weeks) and am self conscious about many parts of my appearance and have started becoming obsessed by it. I know it's not the be all and end all but:

My dress is a touch too small still (thought I could lose more weight- a fool.) shop can't let it out any more and it fits but pulls a bit.

I'm self conscious of my arms which will be on show.

I always hate my hair- I have a hairdresser coming but still can't decide on the style and I'm a complete fluster.

I'm stressed about everyone taking photos of me and me hating them all.

I think the guests are all going to be expecting a beautiful bride and they'll just be a bit "meh" when they see me. I'm already jealous of other brides looking beautiful in their special day and I haven't even had mine yet! Has anyone else felt less than perfect on their wedding day? I feel under so much pressure from myself to look the best I ever have and I can't meet that expectation.

allthecheese Sun 19-Feb-17 20:50:17

I look back on my wedding day and think that I didn't like my dress or my hair, my arms are too chunky and I just wasn't a beautiful bride.

But in all the photos I am smiling so much. I obviously spent the day just so happy. And I'm sure you will too.

MaidOfStars Sun 19-Feb-17 20:52:35

Hand on heart, I've never seen a bride look anying other than radiant (assuming she's completely delighted to be there, of course). Nobody gives a shit what your arms look like, they'll be too busy gooing at your soppy smiles and hand holding.

Pineappletastic Sun 19-Feb-17 20:52:47

I felt really good on the day. After looking at photos I think my dress looks a bit tight and my hair and make up, while lovely, don't look like me.

I would say when picking your look for hair, don't go too far from what you do normally, I had mine up, whereas I'd normal have it down, and wish I'd had some down bits.

You'll look lovely, other people won't see the 'flaws' you see as being so obvious, honestly.

Prettybaffled Sun 19-Feb-17 20:55:31

I am not very attractive op. The girl where everyone says 'oh you look really happy' in a 'she's got a nice personality' way!

On my wedding day my make up was maybe a bit too full on but honestly I felt a million dollars that day because I was excited and everyone's goodwill lifts you up. You are a celeb to eberyone in the room on your wedding day.

I hope and expect you will feel just the same flowers

derxa Sun 19-Feb-17 20:59:43

I didn't sleep a wink the night before. But honestly I was 'gawjus' in a very meringuey 1980s way. grin

PenCreed Sun 19-Feb-17 21:01:42

I hate photos of myself normally, but my wedding photos are great. Top tip if you're worried about it, tell people no photos during the ceremony. They'll respect it and you don't feel like you've got cameras in your face when you're thinking of your vows!

Catherinebee85 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:05:13

I guess everyone gets jitters before a wedding and your happens to be about what you look like.

Have the best day. Who gives a crap if you're not a perfect supermodel bride? I feel like you've got things a bit out of perspective (but can totally understand the worry about the dress being too tight) is the dress strapless. Can you get something lacy to wear on your arms? Regardless we're all guilty of overfocussing on minor details and I think really these are just that and you've lost perspective.

You're having a day celebrating your love with the people you love. Please try to enjoy it for that...not spending it worrying that your arms aren't super toned. I think you're far more likely to regret not relaxing and enjoying it than you are regretting your makeup not being perfect.

Crumbs1 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:05:38

I've never been 'a looker' and remember getting dressed nearly 30 years ago. I was so nervous and so worried my dress was too sparkly, my hair was too bouncy, my makeup was over the top and I had a spot on my chin. It was ridiculous of course. My dress was the most beautiful and expensive thing I had ever worn. My veil hid the spot and make up.
It all changed when I stood shaking at the back of the church. As the doors were opened, the soloist started Schubert's Ave Maria and then my best friend, my lover, the man that made me feel complete turned, smiled and held out his hand. Everyone else disappeared.
It's natural to worry, to feel exposed and on show.
Your guests will see a very lovely bride. Your future husband will see the most beautiful woman in the world. Don't worry.

mumoseven Sun 19-Feb-17 21:07:12

I was very pregnant and found the dress I'd picked wouldn't do up! So I wore a hideous smock and looked horrible! No pics are displayed in our house.
Nearly 25 years later, and at my trimmest for years I'd like a re run picture complete with veil and super frock!

SomewhereNow Sun 19-Feb-17 21:08:35

I fell off the diet wagon, drank too much the night before and didn't like how the stylist did my hair - safe to say I wasn't looking my best. But I look really happy in the photos and honestly didn't give any of it a second thought on the day - how you look is a very small part of it all. Just enjoy your day and remember, just like babies, all brides are beautiful smile.

Bovneydazzlers Sun 19-Feb-17 21:12:28

It rained on my wedding day and I got drizzled on a lot. I was far too excited to look properly in amirror all day until late on when I realised my hair was a total frizz bomb and my make up all over the show. It really doesn't matter a jot. We had the most amazing fun day, we had to keep postponing the taxi at the end of the night as didn't want to leave the fun, everyone still tells us years on the atmosphere and fun of the day (free bar helped!!)

yumscrumfatbum Sun 19-Feb-17 21:17:12

I felt fabulous on my wedding day. Looking back I played it too safe with my hair and my dress is too big around the top and also makes me look short and dumpy! I don't care though we had a fabulous day!

InstinctivelyITry Sun 19-Feb-17 21:17:47 dress was too loose around my chest, wasn't the one I had really wanted. I photographed ok, I mean the overall product was ok, not ok enough to receive compliments from his family. Youll be far nore critical.of yourself than others would be. Have a wonderful day!

KC225 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:20:41

Everyone up thread has made lots of valid comments regarding your special day and confidence. But on a practical level - book one of those slimming wrap things they at local beauty salons. It's temporary but it can be a couple of inches loss all over and will be worth it to feel better in the dress. Look into getting a little bolero/wrap for your arms. You don't have to wear it but it's there if you do. Get yourself over to Mrsglossandthegoss on Facebook - it's everyday women who love make up and hair. Loads of advice and tips. All very positive. There is a woman asking about what to do with her short hair for her wedding.

Wishing you all the best OP.

AllFurCoatNoKnickera Sun 19-Feb-17 21:29:06

Looking back at pictures from my wedding, my biggest regret is that my make up artist forgot to put primer on (and it was 34 degrees).

I'm not a size 8, my hair wasn't perfect, my make up was streaming down my face, my arms were slightly chubbier than they should have been and my feet swelled in the heat so my shoes didn't fit, but I was glowing in a way I didn't think possible. The photos look like I've got a smile literally super imposed on to my face.

You will have the best day. Once you realise that your nearest and dearest are there to witness you marrying the love of your life you won't care. But if you are concerned, have lots of trials and have lots of different hair/make up and photo angle inspiration ready.

Dahlietta Sun 19-Feb-17 21:35:23

I've never been confident about my looks, but I don't regret the way I looked on my wedding day at all. My advice if you're fretting about hair and makeup is to go with what you feel happy with, rather than what you think you're supposed to do. I just had my hair down, as I often do, but had the hairdresser's blowdry it straight, better than I can usually manage. I never wear makeup so I would have felt ridiculous with a full face of it. I had a little bit of foundation and a touch of mascara. I felt confident about myself because I looked like me, but slightly better than usual. And I second that I love the pictures of the day because I look so happy!

derxa Sun 19-Feb-17 21:35:37

There was a howling gale on my wedding day. I didn't care a jot. If you've got the right man that's all that matters.

Mulberry72 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:38:22

I was 6 stone overweight and my husband was 5 stone over weight. I looked a mess and disliked my dress, all I wanted to do was marry DH, I didn't give a monkeys about anything else.

PeachBellini123 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:38:24

I look lovely in my photos because I was in love and surronded by friends and family. I had a glow!

SoMuchPain Sun 19-Feb-17 21:39:21

My dress didn't fit properly and it wasn't my fault. Well in a way it was I lost more weight than the dressmaker thought. I had it made bespoke from scratch cost a fortune and I felt it looked ridiculous but people said I looked radiant and my uncle said he was stunned by how beautiful I looked. So maybe I was wrong. The only time I've looked at a bride and thought no - wasn't because she didn't look pretty but she looked exhausted. So rest up and drink plenty of water and you'll be fine. PS a friend of mine doesn't wear much make up so went for no make up on her wedding day. But I do think for the photographs you do need make up - even if it's make up for a no make up look if you see what I mean for the photographs

dingit Sun 19-Feb-17 21:40:18

Me. I didn't look gorgeous. But 25 years later, I am still married to a wonderful man smile

Lazyafternoon Sun 19-Feb-17 21:43:43

I didn't care at all! I was grinning like an idiot all day. Considering a normally hate my teeth, but I was like the Cheshire cat all day. I had intended to loose weight, but found out I was pregnant 6 weeks before the wedding, so didn't get there! There are a few pictures of my back and arms I wouldn't get blown up and put on the wall, but there are hundreds of others I love.

I was just over the moon to be getting married to my gorgeous man I didn't really care what I looked like on the day TBH.

mumonashoestring Sun 19-Feb-17 21:44:34

I was overweight, I 'settled' for my dress, I did my own makeup and what I'd planned to do with my hair failed miserably BUT I had a wonderful day, I love the photos and once I'd walked in with my Dad I didn't give another thought to appearances all day.

I've been to all sorts of weddings and never seen a bride looking anything other than lovely.

HeddaGarbled Sun 19-Feb-17 21:44:44

I don't have any of my wedding photos on show and the album is packed away in a box on the top shelf of the wardrobe because frankly, we're neither of us lookers and we look a bit daft all gussied up in the wedding finery. 30 years on, on the rare occasions when we get the album out and look at those photos, just us and occasionally the children, no one else, I look back on it all with a good feeling.

I attended a wedding recently for a young family member. The bride really did look lovely: a very pretty young woman in a very beautiful dress. But she was clearly stressed all day and had several hissy fits when things didn't go exactly to plan.

Remember what the day is really about - not looking perfect or meeting the media fuelled expectations of the beautiful bride - making the commitment to the man you love. Try and enjoy your day. You don't want to look back in 30 years and remember worrying about your appearance rather than celebrating your marriage.

If your guests love you and care about you, they won't care what your arms look like. There are always nasty people who will judge you for every flaw but you don't need to give them any headspace.

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