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To think I'm always going to be fat?

(35 Posts)
fatandfaughty Sun 19-Feb-17 12:54:58

I seem to be incapable of sticking to any sort of diet. I've tried slimming world, weight watchers (admittedly not for a while) forget diets and just eat normally (THAT didn't work!) Cambridge, lighter life and exante, 5/2 and low carb. Going veggie, going vegan, eat less move more (THAT didn't work either!)

I can't stick to any of them! I binge eat and in some ways the more restricted the diet the worse my bingeing cycles are but at the same time relaxing doesn't work as it perpetuates everything.

I can't afford therapy and I'm not Christian so please don't suggest that overeaters anon thing, I just wondered if anyone hadn't managed to sort this horrendous habit out!

RockyBird Sun 19-Feb-17 13:00:54

Go on App Store and do a search on James Holmes Easyloss Virtual Gastric Band. There should be a free lite version to try it out.

There's a fb group that is hugely supportive and plenty of before and after pics.

It's not a diet.

StrawberryShortcake32 Sun 19-Feb-17 13:01:35

Unfortunately with any diet you need to have an element of self control.
There is no easy way out.

Eat healthy, cut out the unhealthy crap and move around alot more.

Don't put yourself in situations where you might cave in, don't buy unhealthy stuff so it's not in the house tempting you.

You don't need therapy, just ask yourself why you are caving in when you are. Maybe start a diary. Even erytime you are tempted to reach for bad food, write down how you are feeling . You may start to see a pattern.

I hope it all goes well for you! flowers

CatchTheRainbow Sun 19-Feb-17 13:02:00

I could have written your post.

The best way that worked for me was doing a vlcd for 2 weeks and losing a stone and then writing out a plan.

Each day decide on the meals. I only eat two meals a day because I do intermittent fasting. If I have breakfast then I'm starving by 11.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day is bullshit. Eating six small meals a day is bullshit.

What exercise were you doing? At the gym I do hiit cardio and weights.

The only issue I have is if I allow myself one day to eat what I want, I find it so hard getting back on that wagon.

Kikikaakaa Sun 19-Feb-17 13:03:48

You are only doing it wrong that you are going on a deprivation diet and then wondering why it feels so awful. Because they do.

You mention no exercise. I find the more I exercise, the better I feel in my entire body and mind and far less likely to put bad things in my mouth. I just went for a long 4mile walk with a friend. I go to some classes. But you need to offset the calories going in with moving around more.

Moanyoldcow Sun 19-Feb-17 13:03:57

I'm the same OP - it's very hard. I've lost nearly a stone since the start of the year on a low carb diet which I like. However the key difference this time is that I'm not allowing it to restrict my life too much so I don't feel constantly deprived.

Essentially I plan my cheats carefully. This has really helped me. I've been sticking to this for nearly 2 months now which is a record. Last weekend I went on a night out and had alcohol etc, next week I'm out for a girlie dinner.

I'm sure I could lose it quicker if I was much stricter but this way I don't feel excluded from life. Plus it feels sustainable too.

Slow and steady wins - 1lb a week for a year is nearly 4 stone in a year. That's what I keep trying to remember.

If you can't afford therapy I'd suggest proper education about health and nutrition. I don't want to sound like a nutcase but the reality is we've been fed lies about nutrition and the food that is supposedly healthy is terrible. I eat full fat everything, loads of veg, dairy, berries and meat and fish. Everything tastes nice and it's quite easy to eat out. I go to GBK and have their naked burgers.

These are all things that are supposedly bad for you but much evidence suggests otherwise.

Do you have support at home? That really helps. X

fatandfaughty Sun 19-Feb-17 13:04:00

You know what's mega embarrassing, horrendously cringeworthy embarrassing ? I've had the real deal, and it didn't work. Although I lost a fuck of a lot of weight when it backfired!

fatandfaughty Sun 19-Feb-17 13:04:19

Exercise leads to binges to be honest.

Fingalswave Sun 19-Feb-17 13:04:34

My doctor suggested eating six tiny meals a day. Has to be healthy stuff and requires lots of planning, but at least you don't get hungry.

Kikikaakaa Sun 19-Feb-17 13:07:27

I think you are in a mindset where you will find an excuse for everything why it doesn't work and this won't help you address the fact that overcoming emotional eating doesn't just 'happen' you have to work really really hard at it. You would benefit from therapy IMO x flowers

Areyoufree Sun 19-Feb-17 13:13:44

Not a fan of calorie restriction - even if you are successful, chances are the weight will go back on when you start eating normally again. Plus, having a calorie deficit slows your metabolism. You want to boost your metabolism - weight training is good for that. Binge eating is a learned behaviour, and you need to find ways to change that. It's bloody hard, but not impossible. And not about will power - will power is bullshit. I have no will power - when I used to binge, it wasn't like I thought "Oh, I fancy a biscuit". I would need a packet of biscuits. I would be shaking with needing it so much. I would struggle to wait until I had paid for them, and certainly couldn't wait until I got home. I broke the behaviour by changing the food I binged on to something that wouldn't spike my blood sugar so badly - porridge worked for me. I would make a bowl, eat it as slowly as I could, wash everything up, and then start again if the craving was still there. I slowly deceased the sweetness over time. My body wasn't getting the high it expected, and slowly learned other coping mechanisms. It's been years since I last craved a binge.

I can also recommend the book 'Fat chance' - it talks about how being overweight can change your biochemistry, making it harder to lose weight. It's tough. Society equates 'thin' with 'success', and 'fat' with 'disgusting'. At the end of the day, it's fitness and health that is important, and I think we focus too much on body fat as a metric for health.

WaitrosePigeon Sun 19-Feb-17 13:15:45

I don't think you can change until you really want to. Until you have that 'moment' I don't think it will happen.

Areyoufree Sun 19-Feb-17 13:16:27

Decreased, not deceased!

MaverickSnoopy Sun 19-Feb-17 13:35:57

I have been trying to lose the same two stone for the last 8 years. I am 3lb away from my target. I never thought I would reach this point and so now I'm allowing myself to think about losing the other four stone I really need to lose.

What I have learnt is that if you're not in the right mindset then nnothing will work. I also use food as reward and this has been my biggest challenge. I like a treat on a Saturday night for example and this used to spiral. What has helped me is meal planning things that I actually really like. For example for dinner last nightI had sweet ppotato wedges with a chicken, pepper, onion and courgette mix on top (which was cooked in various fajita type spices). I then topped it with a small portion of grated cheese, sweetcorn, lots of lettuce and a small dollop of natural yogurt. For me they key is to fill up on vegetables without really acknowledging it. You have to find what works for you so you are not depriving yourself.

My biggest challenge has been sticking to it at weekends. I used to give myself the weekend off. I knew this is why I'd lose 2lb during the week and then put 1lb on at the weekend, some weekends it would all go back on. The only thing that has kept me motivated is seeing results. I also know several people who have done really well with weight loss and I don't want to be the only one struggling on. These are the thing that motivates me, but do you have something that motivates you?

Don't give up. I'm sure you have heard many people say this (and it used to really annoy me when people said this but it's true)...but if I can do it then so can anyone. I started in September and gave myself more flexibility at Christmas, so I've been going for about four months which is about 1.5lb per week. Doing it slowly seems to work best.

TheFullMrexit Sun 19-Feb-17 13:36:34

Agree you need to to be in the right mind. I struggle too op I am still hopeful I can do it though. Agree with choosing food on the day, agree with low carb, agree with bingeing on good food.

Somehowsomewhere Sun 19-Feb-17 13:39:34

If you think you can't ever do it then no, you won't ever do it.
It's not easy. It's not fun. You have to restrict what you eat, which no one wants to do. But you won't lose weight otherwise. No one can lose weight for you.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 Sun 19-Feb-17 13:43:46

Have you tried eating more? A work coleague once commented that every time he saw me i was eating. Ive never been above a size 10 in my life. Im nearly 40.

I snack on a few grapes - like maybe 5 or 6, some carrot sticks, sliced tomato, an apple a day, a nectarine, sliced cucumber... And i also drink a lot. With my lunch and dinner my meal Portions are small, i always eat off side plates. Because im never 'starving' when i sit down for a meal so i dont over eat in that meal.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 Sun 19-Feb-17 13:45:19

By more i mean more
Often

MissisBoote Sun 19-Feb-17 13:47:44

What kika said.
If you're in the UK you'll probably be able to access some training therapy/cut that may help.

jaketweeneyistooadvancedfor2 Sun 19-Feb-17 13:51:05

I went on my first diet at around 12 and now am 45 and still overweight. I diet, lose some weight and then slowly and surely put it back on or start with 'good' intentions but don't stick to it.
So I'm trying a completely different approach - firstly I am not thinking about how much weight I want to lose or what dress size I want to be, I've just decided to let my body find where it wants to be. I eat all the same food I ever have, I just half my portion - so for example, I love really buttery white toast for breakfast but now have one slice not two and I don't feel deprived of the stuff I like. I've cut out the snacking, although if I fancy a biscuit I'll have one but one, not half a pack. I've also taken over all the dog walking, so probably walk about an hour a day in total. I got dh to take the scales away so I'm not obsessing - I asked for them this morning and have lost half a stone. I'm really pleased as I wasn't really expecting a change as things don't feel that different.

Gingernaut Sun 19-Feb-17 13:54:09

Therapy. You're binge eating and sabotaging yourself.

Until you sort out the reasons you binge, yes, you will always be fat.

NameChanger22 Sun 19-Feb-17 14:04:21

I think low-carbing is by far the easiest diet to stick to because you don't feel hungry, you can eat when you're hungry (some days you eat less, some days more) and eventually you just stop thinking about food so much.

You need to find a way of eating that becomes a habit for life, because there's no point in loosing weight, just to put it all back on again.

I do find weight loss is quite slow on a low carb diet (about 1 pound a week for me), but if you have a lot of weight to loose then you are going to need to be on a diet for a long time anyway, so you need to find something you can really stick to. Don't expect to loose weight fast, be happy with slow, steady progress and you'll get there in the end.

BeyondThePage Sun 19-Feb-17 14:17:15

Have been there and come out the other side - was 16 stone for 20 years+ - am now 12 stone and though not thin , feel "at home" in my skin.

It was simple - I stopped buying crap. Crisps, chocolate, biscuits, cake. But if I wanted cake, I made a cake.

I basically followed my granny's diet - and I quote her here - "you should always eat at a set table place with a knife and fork - then you won't get fat." (basically no grazing on crap)

MrsWooster Sun 19-Feb-17 14:42:48

I had a bit of an epiphany the other day. I've been fat all my life and dieting for the last 43 years - obviously without success. I was thinking about food, as per, and thought 'it's not FAIR that I can't eat ' whatever it was. I then thought no, it isn't AND IT IS NEVER GOING TO BE so get over it. What I mean by this is that I have always 'failed' at diets because I wanted to comfort myself, somehow, that I deserved something 'nice' because it wasn't fair to be so denied. It occurred to me the other day that yep, it's tough, but there is a reward in being thinner - for me it will cure diabetes, let me keep up with my kids.
There's a reward for you in overeating and a reward for you in being thinner. If you can identify what these are, maybe you can get a sense of which has more going for it.
This hasn't come out very clearly, I'm afraid, but the umpty billion people signed up for the diet programmes you have tried, tell you that you aren't the unusual failure you may think you are... Take it steady.

stubbornstains Sun 19-Feb-17 14:49:43

You don't have to be a Christian to go to Overeaters Anonymous. The whole 12-step thing is all about a "higher power" rather than an actual God- at least, it is nowadays. So say the shameless heathens of my acquaintance that attend NA, anyhoo grin.But this fact is pretty widely known, I would have thought.Which makes me wonder if you're actively creating excuses not to have to deal with the reasons behind your overeating?

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