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To ask if you have managed to change your life for the better re stressful work...

(8 Posts)
moredealsplease Sun 19-Feb-17 10:33:01

DH has a well paid job which results in him often being stressed. He says he hates it but I am low paid with little potential to earn more which makes me feel terrible. We are in a position where we rely on his salary for mortgage etc. A house move is not really on the cards as both dc are really settled into great schools and have lots of friends they'd hate to leave (as do we).

Wondered if anyone else has found a way out of this situation.

semanwen Sun 19-Feb-17 11:07:39

Can you get a better paid job or retrain to do something else meaning that he can take a less stressful job? Not a short term solution but worth considering?

Babyroobs Sun 19-Feb-17 11:36:54

If you are young enough can you extend your mortgage over a longer period so that payments are reduced and your dh can take a less stressful job or you can retrain? Do you have childcare costs/ if so could you do jobs that work around each other to avoid paying for childcare?

Babyroobs Sun 19-Feb-17 11:38:27

Just to add, I have recently switched to a lower stress job but I am having to work a lot more hours ( now full time) rather than 3 days a week to bring in enough money. I think it is worth it though.

Tiredbutfuckingfine Sun 19-Feb-17 11:40:18

Changed jobs. Took both a step backwards and earned a bit less but had loads of free time and almost no stress.
Changed to a job similar to old job which was slightly higher paid but with no real scope to develop. Realised I don't actually want to develop! It's interesting and challenging enough without excessive regular overwork or stress.

BewtySkoolDropowt Sun 19-Feb-17 12:23:04

Do a total money makeover. Look at all your outgoings and see where you can cut back, look at for advice on that. Do three variations:

Current, reasonable (where you cut the things you would be happy to live without and also change electricity providers etc, so its relatively pain-free) and bare bones - the very basics you need to live off.

Then look at what income you need to live off, and take it from there.

Don't do what I did and jack in the stressful job with nothing to go to because despite your best efforts to resolve issues in the workplace, you were getting nowhere because the cause of the stress had her head in the sand.

You can do this. It will work. Just plan it rather than winging it.

Ladyformation Sun 19-Feb-17 12:38:54

What is stressful to him about his job? Is it the sector, the work itself, the culture of his office, the commute, his boss? Depending on what is actually going wrong, he may not need to actually give up his job or earn less money, he may need to look for a role in a different company or reorganise his working day.

My experience is that last year I was earning decent money with a good trajectory in a job I used to love. Some factors about the organisation changed and it became horribly stressful to the point that I was ill. Eventually there was a particular incident which meant that I resigned on a point of principle and looking back it was the best thing I could have done. Within two months I was working in the same sector, same type of work, from home/with travel, more senior, more money, and six months later I couldn't be happier. There were points at which I nearly jacked the whole sector in and I look back on that now and shiver. I'm glad I took the time to work out what was actually wrong and take the right steps to fix it, rather than just reacting out of stress.

EssentialHummus Sun 19-Feb-17 12:43:20

What is stressful to him about his job? Is it the sector, the work itself, the culture of his office, the commute, his boss?

This is really important- if you can't identify it, you can't fix it.

As a PP suggested I'd also look at outgoings so you're feeling under less financial pressure.

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