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To go on a two week holiday without my DD 10?

(79 Posts)
ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:12:41

Backstory... I'm going to meet DH's family in April. We've decided to spend a week with them and have a week to ourselves. He is staying there when I come back to the UK and we're applying for his spousal visa from there. He is not DD's father.

DD is very welcome to come but says she doesn't want to miss even one day of school! (I'm actually quite proud of this) however would it be unreasonable to leave her for two weeks, one week with my sister and the other with my mother?

Nothing is booked yet and I've already discussed this with DH who said I'm not BU. She is coming with me in the summer holidays for 3 weeks and he said I could Skype her every day.

It'll be the first time I've been away from her for more than a weekend. What do you all think? I've tried not to dripfeed but you may have questions I haven't thought of!

WorraLiberty Sun 19-Feb-17 00:16:29

My only worry would be that she might change her mind and then get very upset about you going.

Why would she need to miss school? Isn't it the Easter holidays around that time?

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:24:21

Sorry yes we're planning to go end of April returning early may

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:30:59

Only because she said she didn't want to go and I thought I could spend a week on all term with her before I do x

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:31:19

Half even grin

Huldra Sun 19-Feb-17 00:36:38

If she is really happy then fine, she will be well cared for.

But how much school would she have to miss? Is it a case that she doesn't want to miss 1 to 3 days and therefore feels she can't go for the entire two weeks? If so, why doesn't she want to miss a couple of days? Has the school made a fuss to the pupils about holidays and she will feel too guilty? If that's the case it can be fixed with changing a few dates.

Does it feel like too long and too much effort for her. She is 10, a week with partners family she doesn't know, followed by week with you and partner. Would it be easier for her to have you all out for a week to 10 days. Stay near his family, see them for a bit but have a bit of time and space too.

venys Sun 19-Feb-17 00:36:49

I am sure it will be fine for her. Many moons ago, my mother went away for a a few weeks when I was 9 - but I stayed with the rest of my family. I survived.

MissDallas Sun 19-Feb-17 00:42:22

Wouldn't you miss her? I couldn't bear to be away from my DC for 2 weeks, that's far too long. Can't you wait and go in the Easter hols instead?

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:43:11

She never misses school. Full stop. I've had arguments with her telling her she's too ill to go to school but she just passes me the calpol! She is adamant she doesn't want to go! I'm willing to go the two weeks over Easter, it would save me some annual leave from work but I thought it would be better to go later given she doesn't want to go so at least I can spend some time with her iyswim?

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:44:18

I would miss her terribly but my DH has it all planned and he is staying at home for approx 1 year so feel I need to get as much time as possible with him x

WorraLiberty Sun 19-Feb-17 00:47:45

MissDallas, it's not about the OP. It's about her child.

If her child wants to stay home, it shouldn't be about what the OP wants imo.

I'm sure any parent or child would miss each other for 2 weeks, but it's still doable.

Huldra Sun 19-Feb-17 00:48:15

Week with his family and a long weekend tagged on the end for you as a couple? That may make it easier for all.

angeldelightedme Sun 19-Feb-17 00:53:26

Isn't it a bit strange to be married to someone whose family you have never met and is not allowed to live in the uk

PuddleJumper01 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:53:36

A weekend away from mine is too long for me, but if you're comfortable with 2 weeks, and she's comfortable with 2 weeks and you've got childcare in place, I'm sure it's fine.

Where's her birth dad?

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:58:37

@angeldelightedme I've met them but on Skype. He is allowed to live in the U.K. but has a time limited visa, we are applying so he can live and work in the U.K. We've been married a year, this is the first time we have been able to travel together to meet them in person.

Finola1step Sun 19-Feb-17 00:58:53

Is she in Year 6?

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 00:59:50

@puddlejumper01 he's never been involved, briefly when she was 2 he had sporadic contact with her but never maintained x

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 01:00:49

@finolaonestep Yes she's taking SAT's so can't really afford to miss time, even if she wanted to!

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 01:01:39

@finola1step yes so she couldn't miss any time even if she wanted to!

RazWaz Sun 19-Feb-17 01:04:33

My mother often went away for a week or two and left me behind with my dad or grandparents. I think I was about 7 or 8 when she went to Tunisa for 2 weeks and I have fond memories of that time as I got to spend time having fun with family members.

If your DD is ok with it I'd go.

SheSaidNoFuckThat Sun 19-Feb-17 01:06:16

You know Year 6 SATs are a complete load of shit and are only used to judge the school not the pupil?

Carollocking Sun 19-Feb-17 01:07:43

What country is this?only ask as maybe she's not so keen to go to that country maybe ?

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 01:08:14

I know but you need to know my DD! She's adamant she's gonna ace them all, absolutely adores school and won't even have time off for the dentist!! I suppose I'm lucky she has that mindset but it's a pain planning holidays!!

ivechangedmyname123 Sun 19-Feb-17 01:09:04

It's Algeria, but we've been all over the world! As long as it's warm and has a beach she's happy usually!

Carollocking Sun 19-Feb-17 01:09:33

And yes SATS mean nothing in terms of effect on your daughter as previous poster said

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