Sorry, this may be long.
Almost 6 months ago I split with my BF. We didn't technically live together but he spent a lot of time at my house and had lots of stuff there. He took some when I asked him to leave but there are several large bags of his belongings still in my basement, plus an old stereo and surround sound system that he unsuccessfully tried to get me to buy from him (for £250 ).
Also, shortly before I saw the light and got rid, he convinced me to take out a new phone contract for him in my name on my existing account. The plan always was that he would transfer it to his own name after 6 months. Getting him to pay me every month for his phone expenses is a nightmare, he's always several weeks late paying and I've had to threaten more than once to have his handset blacklisted to get him to cough up.
He was controlling and emotionally and financially abusive when I was with him and he still tries to manipulate me. He lies, he wheedles, he guilt trips. He finds reasons to try to speak to me, phones me repeatedly, texts me begging me to answer the phone. He has recently tried to drag my children into the equation by claiming they are watching unpleasant and inappropriate videos on YouTube as his account is still signed in to my iPad (total lies but I fear he's building up to threatening reporting me over this, which would be difficult due to my occupation). I have had reports from neighbours that they've seen him on my property late at night but he denies being there. I basically want to end all contact and get on with my life, I am seeing someone else and I am happy and rebuilding my self esteem with the help of my lovely new bloke, who is allowing me to take things slowly and feel respected.
I have asked him multiple times to arrange collection of his stuff. This week he has tried to take over his phone contract and has failed the credit check. I can't bear another 18 months of monthly contact with him.
I have told him he either buys out the contract to keep the phone/number or hands the phone to me in mint condition and I'll change the number and give it to my DD to use. I've told him he has seven days to collect his belongings or I will dispose of them and all I've had back us "I'll check my work rota" - no indication of what he plans to do with the phone or when he'll be coming. I feel the need to have someone with me when he comes in order to feel safe so need to arrange this - the kids are away at their dad's this half term.
What the hell do I do if he keeps ignoring me? What are the legal implications of just throwing his belongings away? How can I recover the phone if he won't buy the contract out ( unlikely as he's always skint and was always sponging money from me). Will the police help me at all or will they just tell me it's a civil matter? Phone company were as helpful as they could be and have told me that as everything is in my name, the phone is legally mine and they will happily blacklist it as soon as I ask them to. Where do I go from here to just finish getting him out of my life so I can block his number and just be happy?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
About exBF - phone and belongings?
42 replies
Welshmaenad · 18/02/2017 15:26
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.