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My bff has gone onto radio silence

(17 Posts)
mermaidsandunicorns Sat 18-Feb-17 01:38:25

Please help reassure me
I have awful social anxiety as does my best friend which is why we get on so bloody well every now an then she will go on total
Radio silence can't get hold of her by text or fb usually phone issues.
She's updating her fb but won't reply to my texts which is making my anxiety awful
I'm now socially anxious that I've pissed her off somehow.
Am I being stupid here

CatchTheRainbow Sat 18-Feb-17 01:40:56

No. I get the same way.

You just have to think of your last encounter and realise that you probably haven't done anything wrong at all.

Give it a couple of days and if you hear nothing then just ask if everything ok between the two of you.

ElvishArchdruid Sat 18-Feb-17 01:44:16

She sounds similar to a family member of mine, does she have MH issues too? Or something that she's struggling with. Personally I would give her space and when she comes back, she comes back. I have a childhood best mate, who vanishes into thin air, so I understand your frustrations.

mermaidsandunicorns Sat 18-Feb-17 02:07:16

It breaks my heart when she does this as we are so close

BirdBrain85 Sat 18-Feb-17 02:24:52

Been there many times too. Honestly just leave her to it; I know it's easier said than done but you've sent messages and made it clear you want to engage, and to your knowledge you've done nothing to upset her.

I imagine you're a very good friend to her - think about that / all the times you've been there for her, if she's gone silent it's her who's missing out right? Because you're a fab friend smile

She will contact you sooner or later, and you'll be glad you didn't get worked up over it or send a million messages xx

ChocolateSherberts2017 Sat 18-Feb-17 03:03:15

Sometimes people need head space and the more you want to engage with them, the more they retreat into their shell. When she is ready she'll come back to you but she'll do it at her own time. She might have stuff going on that she needs to sort out such as the phone you mentioned or other personal things.

In the mean time, concentrate on yourself, making new friends, keeping busy, trying new hobbies and things. Keep busy and don't let your mind wander too much on why your friend is out of touch atm.

Schwifty Sat 18-Feb-17 03:28:48

I'm guilty of doing this myself! I feel down or tired or not sociable or a combination of the above, and retreat into my shell. I've done it to friends, family, dp, and from my point of view it's often a bout of depression which could have been set off by something or nothing. I hate it but can't help myself for a while, and I know that it hurts my loved ones which makes me feel worse! I emerge eventually and tell people how grateful I am for them bein there. You're doing a great job OP, as others have said, please look after yourself and she'll be back when she's ready. Best wishes x

user1477282676 Sat 18-Feb-17 03:56:18

"when she does this"

Does she do this a lot OP? It's not something a true friend does at all!

LoveMyLittleSuperhero Sat 18-Feb-17 04:02:43

OP I can almost definitely say it is not your fault. I used to do this, I updated facebook to let my friends know I was safe but I didn't reply because I couldn't cope with talking to anyone who knew me about what was going on.
If she's the same the fact you have text will make a difference, you sound like a wonderful friend. flowers

FenellaMaxwellsPony Sat 18-Feb-17 04:02:57

How long has the 'radio silence' gone on for, and how many texts have you sent?

I have to say that sometimes if I'm stressed I will ignore messages too for a bit as I just need to hibernate through a rough patch. It's probably nothing personal at all.

TitaniasCloset Sat 18-Feb-17 04:21:48

I do this. I have mh issues and sometimes find contact with other people exhausting. My friends and family know but my closest friend still gets upset sometimes. I can't help it I just need my space now and then, any emotional demands on me when I'm feeling like that just take too much energy and I don't want to get snappy so I find this the best way.

mermaidsandunicorns Sat 18-Feb-17 09:22:00

It's been about 5 days now I send her a text a day just to say hi

minesapintofwine Sat 18-Feb-17 09:27:37

Me and my friends do this to each other sometimes. I have mh issues too and when it happens to me I feel like you do now, but when I do it to them (needing headspace etc) I selfishly don't think they may be feeling like that sad.

I wouldn't send a text a day (unless you normally do?) I would leave it about a week, try and concentrate on down time, and then get back in touch, maybe ask outright if everything ok.

sillypussy Sat 18-Feb-17 09:43:48

MH issues here too and currently avoiding damn near all phone calls and texts. Just can't cope and don't have the energy to put a happy smiley face on for everyone. Doesn't mean that they've pissed me off at all. So that's probably what's happening with your friend. Wait until she gets back in touch and let her explain her absence. It's not your fault OP.

ChocolateSherberts2017 Sat 18-Feb-17 11:02:29

Also I do this as well and I can't cope with people sending me daily/hourly texts too. I shut off and all the daily contact stresses me out sometimes. It's not your fault but with your anxiety you can't see that and also with her anxiety she might just need space. I had a friend who sent me multiple one line texts within a few seconds of each other when it could been put into one text. It really stressed me out and I ended up turning the phone off. Just leave her be, she knows that you've made contact, leave it upto her now.

mermaidsandunicorns Sat 18-Feb-17 12:02:23

Thanks for the reassurance haven't messaged today will let her be for now

Questioningeverything Sat 18-Feb-17 12:23:27

Sounds like me. Is it? 😐

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