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DHs Birthday

(14 Posts)
pinkiponk Fri 17-Feb-17 22:21:00

I genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable... feel like I can't see the wood for the trees on this one.

Bit of a back story, I'll try and keep it brief:
I have been training in a sport for a year for a sporting event (massively outting if I go into too much more detail).
I'm careful that it doesn't take up too much time (I use my lunch hours mainly), and it's been important to me, as it's one of those only bits of 'me' left since having DS.
The specific event went well and I was selected for a more important event.
The more important event fell the day after my husbands birthday (not a 'big' birthday).
So I volunteered to take his birthday off work so we could have a nice day out, long lunch etc, but then late afternoon I would have to leave to travel to the event, as it was hundreds of miles away and I needed to be there early the next morning.

What we ended up doing, was the night before his bday I did a special dinner, his presents and made a thing of it then (he went to his parents for birthday evening).

Was I unreasonable to do this? DH still annoyed at me, and I just had a comment from FIL that it was 'unacceptable that I shafted him' on his birthday.

sonyaya Fri 17-Feb-17 22:23:23

Is your husband 12? Because otherwise I would have thought he could manage without you for a few hours on his birthday.

You clearly made the effort and didn't ignore the occasion. He should be more supportive towards you in your event.

pinkiponk Fri 17-Feb-17 22:27:26

I thought I had made an effort, the way he's treating me though I wondered if I was being unreasonable... at first I was flattered he wanted me there so much, but was quite annoyed when my FIL made a dig as well!

wigglesrock Fri 17-Feb-17 22:29:05

What was he turning?.............8. For the love of that's holy I've never heard such nonsense - so you didn't make his day special enough because you had something else on? Most people work on their birthday, their childrens birthday, their partners birthday. My husband had the temerity to be born just before Christmas - I've been to lots of things without him on his birthday - work dos, friends annual meet ups etc. And your fil commented on it - he's a peach as well.

PetalMettle Fri 17-Feb-17 22:29:17

He is being a baby. You found an alternative way to celebrate, -and it's not just like you went out for a drink, you had good reason

Grilledaubergines Fri 17-Feb-17 22:31:12

Please tell me you didn't let your FIL's comment go without setting him straight.

pinkiponk Fri 17-Feb-17 22:32:13

Thanks for your replies, I'm going to speak to him. It's hard because he always has his parents support and my parents aren't in my life, so I don't feel like I have allies to back me up as vehemently as his parents do!

pinkiponk Fri 17-Feb-17 22:33:36

grilled I did tell my FIL I disagreed as I did volunteer to take the day off with him, all went quiet and MIL said 'well I'm staying out of it' and that was that. DH doesn't know this conversation happened yet.

DJBaggySmalls Fri 17-Feb-17 22:34:37

So he couldn't support you in your big event because...
And thats not shafting you because...

RusholmeRuffian Fri 17-Feb-17 22:36:08

He's behaving like a small child!

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 17-Feb-17 22:40:16

Your pil are way too involved in your relationship and your dh is acting like a child, yanbu

pinkiponk Fri 17-Feb-17 22:44:05

He could have come along to the event, but it would have meant having DS in tow which would have been a challenge, and would have meant quite a bit of expense (my accommodation was free, his would not have been).
Although he could have come along, that being said. I think I should have made it clear how important it was to me. Perhaps I've not done that.
PIL have been too involved in the past, DH and I had agreed not to include them in such discussions in future, so Il need to bring that up again.

junebirthdaygirl Fri 17-Feb-17 23:04:48

As already said he is being totally ridiculous. He may well find himself in the same position because of work, whatever another time. For goodness sake he should be proud of you and delighted you are doing so well. Maybe try the " l'm sorry you feel like that" bland apology. And ignore. And keep going at your activity.

MTB1003 Fri 17-Feb-17 23:16:10

Yanbu, I can't see what business it is of theirs.

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