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Aibu to think this isn't laziness and there's something wrong?

(27 Posts)
littlehouseandus Fri 17-Feb-17 15:19:44

My dd is nearly 7 and still not fully toilet trained - she just leaks constantly. I took her to the gp about a year ago who told me it was just her being lazy and having accidents .

But the thing is it's not just the occasional accident it's once or twice or up to 5 or more times a day on a really bad day. And she says she just has no idea when she needs to use the toilet.

She has NEVER gone a night without wetting her bed she uses pull ups. Tbh that's doesn't worry me AS much as the day time wetting.

I want my gp to refer us for tests or help or ANYTHING I have made an appointment today and I'm just so nervous I am terrible at getting my point across is doctors!

I have made an appointment with a different gp so I'm hoping she will be a bit more helpful.

Aibu to be asking for a referral for this?

Dawndonnaagain Fri 17-Feb-17 15:21:39

Not at all. In fact, I'd be insisting, particularly as peer pressure at this age would usually have resolved a day time problem.
Be firm with the GP, you are your daughter's voice.
Good luck! flowers

gleam Fri 17-Feb-17 15:22:25

Have you looked at the ERIC website? I found it useful.

PageStillNotFound404 Fri 17-Feb-17 15:22:51

I think you're doing the right thing listening to your gut and either ruling out anything underlying or finding something that can be treated.

Can you make a list of the points you want to make/questions you want to ask and take it with you to refer to at the doctors? You'll be far from the only person who has done this.

EatTheChocolateTeapot Fri 17-Feb-17 15:23:30

YANBU, your poor DD, don't let the GP palm you off.

ScarletBegonia1234 Fri 17-Feb-17 15:25:00

Be calm and confident, but insist. Make a list of everything you said above, or even just have what you wrote above to hand and read through it in the appointment as it will stop you being flustered and you won't miss anything. I would be insisting if I was in your position too. I hope you get the help you need...good luck!

redexpat Fri 17-Feb-17 15:31:19

Good phrases are:
Im not happy with that
What are my options?
When can i expect to hear about that?
Who do I contact if I dont hear anything?

Notagain2017 Fri 17-Feb-17 15:34:52

My child was referred to the enuresis clinic so ask for that. She had tests on her bladder and is now on medication which helps a bit.

yikesanotherbooboo Fri 17-Feb-17 15:38:10

Poor DD
Very normal to still be wet at night but very unusual to be wet in the day at 7( apart from occasional not quite making it to loo or poor drying)
It isn't laziness , she doesn't seem to be interpreting the messages . Presuming no developmental issues ... firstly rule out infection so take a 'clean catch' urine specimen with you when you go to GP. Perhaps see if there is a Dr with child of similar age to give context? Did you have a scan in pregnancy showing normal kidneys? Absolutely right that ERIC site is good. There may be school nurse run enuresis service .. areas differ as do local guidelines ... definitely worth pursuing

littlehouseandus Fri 17-Feb-17 15:39:24

Thanks I will try to be more assertive blush

I left it so long because we have another referral for her in regards to assesment for autism and so I assumed that this would be part of that.

I talked to someone recently though who told me that no it would need to be separately done .

So I will try to get a referral about this as well sad

harderandharder2breathe Fri 17-Feb-17 15:48:52


Constant leaking isn't laziness like occasional accidents could be (but still most likely wouldn't be).

Keep pushing for help and check the ERIC website for useful info

lizzieoak Fri 17-Feb-17 15:50:54

Laziness?! Wow, that's a heck of a "doctor". She's 7, not 2.5. I hope the tests help her out, and you.

xyzandabc Fri 17-Feb-17 16:07:13

I took my daughter to gp at 6.5 as though she still wet the bed occasionally at night, she was constantly damp during the day. We were told to up her fluid intake and keep wee/drink charts for a few days and go back if no improvement in 6 months. At 2nd appointment we were referred to the eurensis clinic at the hospital. Tests showed her bladder wasn't functioning as it should. We've had 6 months of medication and recent tests show bladder is much improved. Though she is still damp uring the day, we've had a couple of dry days now and hopefully things will continue to improve over the next 6 months and we can stop the meds. She will be 8 next week so it's not a quick thing but definitely get that referral to the clinic. It's the 1st step.

EineKleine Fri 17-Feb-17 16:10:47

You could also try the school nurse. Get their number from your school office. They can give you practical advice and also refer to enuresis clinic.

Enuresis clinic was a big relief for us - there is a presumption there that no one chooses to wet their pants or soil themselves, it's not their fault. I think you will find that enormously refreshing. Also once a child is regularly wet I think they lose the sensation of the difference between wet and dry. Fixing the issue temporarily can be enough to let the child make that association again and sometimes that is all that's needed. But yes I think you need some proper help and your DD deserves that presumption that it's not her fault.

Newtoday Fri 17-Feb-17 16:10:52

Is she constipated? It's a common course of wetting/leaking accidents.

The signs of constipation are often not what you think! The poo can still get through past large dried clumps of impacted poo.

ppeatfruit Fri 17-Feb-17 16:29:56

Have you tried making a food diary for her (or get her to do it) she might be having an allergic reaction to dairy products. Or something else.

butterfly990 Fri 17-Feb-17 16:39:43

Long term constipation can cause the bowel to stretch and this can put pressure on the bladder.

BeMorePanda Fri 17-Feb-17 16:44:20

at very least you should be referred to an Enuresis clinic by now.
I think DD was referred when she was 5 - for bed wetting she eventually grew out of (as I expected she would).

Horrible for your DD - please push more for a referral for some some specialist help.

littlehouseandus Fri 17-Feb-17 17:21:57

Ok this gp was great and we have a referral no issue!

3luckystars Fri 17-Feb-17 17:24:02

Check out constipation.

Could you try movicol for a while and see if things improve. Good luck x

Dawndonnaagain Fri 17-Feb-17 17:24:58

Pleased for you littlehouse .

LittleCandle Fri 17-Feb-17 17:30:12

DD1 had bladder problems and I was fobbed off time and time again because a referral to urology meant a transfer out of health district and I suspect it was more hassle than they felt they could be bothered with. By the time we were referred, her bladder was damaged. she had no nerve endings in her bladder, hence never knew when she needed. There wasn't anything that could be done. She did become dry in her teens, although she tended to be wet at night when not well, so please assert yourself on your DD's behalf.

BaconMaker Fri 17-Feb-17 17:31:37

YANBU. I find it very hard to believe that any seven year old would wet out of laziness. In any case you know your daughter and don't think she is wetting herself out of laziness so you definitely need to advocate for her. See a different GP and be firm that you need a referral for further investigations.

GoldenGlobe Fri 17-Feb-17 17:32:31

That's great, littlehouse I hope you get the right help for your DD. flowers

madmoon Fri 17-Feb-17 17:38:42

My son was very similar and he saw a urologist who put him on a course of tablets called lyrynal xl(sp) for irritable bladder and they seemed to work he was on the for 6 months at a higher dose then 6 months lower dose then off he was dry for about a year and then it started again so they popped him back on them he's been off them now for a 3 year and fine pls pls press your gp

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